…though it still feels like sharp kick to the guts.

The initial selection (the list from which they pick the people to interview) for those other jobs I put in for came out today, and I didn’t even rank.  Apparently, my cunningly included keywords were less cunningly included than everybody else’s; at least so much as to have the rest of them pick up four points more than me on the evaluation, and one more point would have gotten me on the list.

I know (and everybody else knows) that I’m qualified for these jobs, but I had to get past the computer, and somehow, I didn’t.  At least forty-two other people did, though – competition would have been tight regardless; I probably wouldn’t have gotten through – but then again, I might, I’ll never know.

I don’t know why I might have missed getting exactly the right things in there; perhaps I was distracted by all the imminent baby business (I put in my applications during the whole “false alarm labor” affair; my mind might not have been completely focused on the key word operation).  I’ll never know, really; there’s no benefit to worrying about it; what’s done is done.

Oh well – I’m not much of a believer in fate, but I guess this one wasn’t supposed to happen…Lord knows I have enough other stuff going on right now (even if the extra money would have been a help in dealing with them).  Perhaps in the months ahead, a better opportunity will come along that I’d have missed otherwise (though these opportunities seemed pretty damned good).

Time will tell, though I really don’t feel like being optimistic this afternoon.  There’ll be plenty of time for that tomorrow – Today, I feel like wallowing.

Sh*t.