irony morrissettii

31 Mar

So, my morning today started, as it often does, with my morning bathroom rituals, which are nothing special, and thus I won’t describe them in detail, in deference to common decency…never fear, though, this story gets rather icky anyway…

As you may know, my home is small, and space is at a premium. To save some space, above my toilet is a combination shelving unit/towel rack, upon which sits, among other things, the little black bag in which I keep my personal grooming items and some prescription medication. I keep things in this “toiletry bag” in part because it keeps my relatively modest collection of items together and accessible amongst the occasional avalanche of hair care products and cosmetics my wife and daughter keep there, and partially because I never got out of the habit of using this bag, which was invaluable during my years of business travel.

So, as I entered the bathroom this morning to begin my rituals, I noticed that during the night, one of my children (presumably) left the toilet seat lid up. I noticed this at the same time my entry into the room disturbed some sort of air current or caused a stray vibration, or otherwise upset the delicately crafted feng shui, causing my toiletry bag to take a not-terribly-graceful tumble into it’s namesake bowl.

I hope they remembered to flush. In my rush to retrieve the items, I didn’t spend much time looking.

Luckily, nothing appears to have been permanently damaged, other than a package of dental floss that I’m not going to take any chances with. It seems that my prescription bottles retained enough airtight integrity to not soak the pills, which is good (see the last post for hints on intuiting why), and a good washing of the razor and contact lens case (empty) should solve the rest.

In any case, it was an absolutely wonderful way to start the day. Nothing like slightly disgusting semi-irony to get the blood flowing.

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