I don’t have any particularly profound things to share, but the space feels empty, and I have a few minutes. Oh look, it’s June.

Life is life, really…moving along, slow and steady, generally not particularly noteworthy. Employment is employment: I’ve been at this particular chapter for five months and change now; it’s mostly paying the bills, and I’m mostly managing the stress. To be brutally honest, it’s not the most rewarding work I’ve ever had. I’m learning what I can, fixing problems where I’m able, but I’m having trouble looking at this position as a long-term prospect; everything I do I tend to mentally frame as “leaving things better than a found them” rather than “feathering the nest.” I’m not necessarily proud of my looking at things this way, but it’s reality, and perhaps a coping mechanism. I feel like I’m spinning wheels a bit, maybe…At nearly 41, I’m pretty sure I still don’t know what I want to be when i grow up.

I guess it’s a good thing I have some creative outlets. The band and other occasional musical outlets help, though after the gig the other weekend, I don’t have anything officially lined up. It’s probably my exhaustion and chemical imbalances talking, but things felt the slightest bit, I dunno, final; at least the end of a chapter, with the release of the CD (which is really good). It’s probably just the slowing down after con season and the fact that for the first time in six months or so, I don’t have a definite gig lined up to look forward to, which is a weird feeling. Anyway, I hope it’s not the end; I really enjoy the experience.

Reading back on the last couple of paragraphs, things really sound kinda bleak, don’t they?

It’s not all Eyore and little black rainclouds. There are other adventures. Last weekend, half a dozen of us, friends old and new, did our (at least) annual Appalachian Trail hike, doing roughly nine miles between 3400 and 4000 feet above sea level, between Pinnacles and Stony Man in Shenandoah National Park. It was a good time, though the combined might of con crud earlier in the week and my not being in the absolute best shape of the last couple of years, I struggled, especially on the uphill sections, but I conquered opponents both viral and gravitational, and kicked that trail’s ass.

This Thursday, I’ve also got fourth row tickets to “Weird” Al Yankovic’s show in town. I’ll be in the audience for one of the best live bands performing today, enjoying the musical comedy sountrack of my life since I was in elementary school, with friends scattered all over the crowd (sales limits prevented us from managing to all sit together). Nostalgia, entertainment, and something to look forward to.

So, on balance, it’s a wash. two steps forward, one and a half steps back. Slouching towards something, but not terribly enthusiastic about any of it.