Wanna know about the music I make? Here’s the info:

A performer for more than 35 years, Chuck Parker has filled many musical roles: heavy metal guitarist, singer/songwriter, jazz sideman, open mic host, filk circle regular, session player, and World’s Okayest Bassist™.

Chuck has been a regular on the con circuit for more than a decade, and he’s played ballrooms, biergartens and backyards all over the country, both as a solo performer and as the bassist for wizard rock icons The Blibbering Humdingers. He plays slice of life, confessional geek tunes that are often kind of funny, and his lyrics have been called “sensitive”, “literate”, and “hard to sing…”

He is also a published poet, avid cyclist, spouse, father, and a herder of cats, both figuratively and literally.

Tunes:

• Bandcamp: Songs/Albums for sale/download
• Spotify
• Apple Music
• YouTube Artist Channel
• …and very likely on your other favorite streaming service!
• The Blibbering Humdingers, the wizard rock/nerdmusik band I’ve played bass with for most of the last ten years
• Stuff I Made – live recordings, other people’s records I’ve appeared on, rare stuff, writing, etc…

Gigs

• Chuck’s Gigs Page

Thanks for checking in, and if you like, stick around to read two decades’ worth of blog posts!

I’m frankly tired of being angry and afraid. The stress of this whole < gestures widely toward this general overall situation > is certainly still there, and festering, but I suspect I’ve just become inured to the constant pressure of all these stressors. It’s not quite numbness, but it’s getting there.

I’d like to think it’s entirely that I’ve made the conscious choice to no longer let the things I can’t control bother me, found serenity and wisdom and all that, but I’m pretty sure I’m just tired.

The weirdness up in Washington this last week has provided equal parts laughs and tears. The whole battle plans over unsecured group chat business is laughable (and created some great memes), though as someone who’s got a clearance and is required to take all kinds of OpSec training every year as part of my job, it’s deeply concerning. First, if I did something even one percent as serious as Secretary WhiskeyLeaks did, I’d simply be “disappeared.” Secondly, given that they’re having that conversation over unsecured channels, what the hell else are they talking about out in the open? It’s grossly incompetent and certainly dangerous.

What’s got me more concerned is the fact that given the numerous instances of edging up against defying court orders by playing “oopsie, too late” about immigration flights, I (and numerous supposedly serious journalists) are honestly concerned that an Andrew Jackson moment is only days or weeks away, and this time, the executive branch won’t just say they won’t act if directed, they’re just going to blatantly flaunt it, and if current patterns hold, I kind of expect that the other two branches will just roll over and accept it.

I mean, if the rest of this hasn’t been a bridge too far, I struggle to believe that throwing the middle finger to the courts is going to be. Once again, the historian in me is fearful of the parallels, and it’s not even necessary to invoke Godwin’s Law.

And finally, and perhaps less to do with oligarchy and authoritarianism (but still at least a little), and more McKinley than Jackson, the threatened 25% tariffs on automobiles is going to hit personally, as just this week I put a reserve deposit down on a vehicle (since I’m selling one of the old ones to one of my kids) from a Japanese manufacturer that’s currently being assembled from parts sourced largely from Japan, Canada, and Mexico, so I’m hoping the really good price we discussed doesn’t jump by $9000 by the time it arrives at the dealership in a few weeks.

So I guess I still am thinking mostly about this whole < gestures widely toward this general overall situation >, but at least I’m not cracking every other day like I was a few weeks back.

I did distract myself for an hour or two with the latest episodes of DareDevil: Born Again, which is proving to be really good, catching some of the same tone of the Netflix version, but working better with a leaner episode count. Also, to continue the “unpopular opinions” from last week, I (unlike a lot of the chatterers online) really, really liked the bottle episode slotted in at episode five, which did a good job of presenting some good character development and connections while being a largely standalone 45 minute adventure that felt like some of the best fill-in stories from the editor’s drawer to plug a gap created by the regular story-driven issue is running behind publishing dates.

Anyway, we’ve got a few things on the agenda this weekend, but mostly just the usual chores, a medical appointment, some outside time, and attending a birthday celebration for our friend Jeff (7-0!) where we’re looking forward to tasting some interesting bourbon folks brought back from a recent trip to Kentucky.

So this is also Friday, so there will, as always, be tunes. In an effort at self-care, I had the algorithm generate a “relaxing mix” playlist based on my “liked” songs and listening history. What it presented is the following, largely composed of lots of guitar-based classic rock and indie falling in at under 65bpm, which is fine. There’s some great stuff here, though, in particular #s 8, 10, and 12 (which is pretty much as perfect a composition as I’ve ever heard):

1. “Walk On the Wild Side” – Lou Reed
2. “The Fool On The Hill” – The Beatles
3. “My Hometown (live)” – Bruce Springsteen
4. “Golden State (live)” – Eddie Vedder and Natalie Maines
5. “Six Blade Knife” – Dire Straits
6. “Coming Back To Life” – Pink Floyd
7. “Ode To My Family” – The Cranberries
8. “If We Were Vampires” – Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit
9. “Follow You Follow Me” – Genesis
10. “In Your Eyes (live)” – Jeffrey Gaines
11. “Everybody Hurts” – R.E.M.
12. “Watermelon In Easter Hay” – Frank Zappa

One more week down, and the work slog continues, in part because Schumer indeed did fold (though it remains to be seen if he’s as capable of 4-D chess as the red hats claim TFG is), and the shutdown was put off, at least until at some point in the summer when the debt ceiling runs out again…

All through the weekend, there were rumors in the usual places of VERA/VSIP being offered in my Department, though I’ve yet to see anything official. That said, I ran a bunch of speculative numbers based on conjecture and existing statute (if such a thing even matters anymore), and determined that it makes a heck of a lot more financial sense to keep plugging away five days a week until such time as they decide to kick me to the curb, or some other new weirdness happens (like, say, this executive order, which might sound like a good idea, until you read more deeply with my kind of professional experience and realize it’s a shitshow that will just cost more long term, and likely further endanger my career…).

I have been playing the boss again this week, and bumping up against implied vs. direct authority, because this neat tool we’ve been building the last most-of-a-year is ready for prime time in terms of logic and queries and report displays, though the output is only as good as the project data that the PMs feed into it, and so far, they’re not really doing it, and their bosses aren’t really pushing for it. it’s frustrating. That said, the CIO wants it demoed to her next week, and if somebody’s project shows up as overdue simply because they forgot to update schedule dates, I expect the big boss coming down on them will motivate them rather quickly.

So, yeah, that’s work. In other news, I sat for my yearly eye exam, took the dog for a couple of long walks, and splurged on myself by buying a pair of tickets to the Aimee Mann/Jonathan Coulton show in town in June, because I needed something to look forward to, even I was unsure about my financial future, and the tickets were remarkably inexpensive.

Sometimes you just need to do some nice things for yourself.

I am going to do something else nice for myself this weekend; apart from the usual chores, the Lovely Spouse and I going to hang out with our hooligan friends at the home opener for The Richmond Kickers, drink a few local brews, and shout all the fun nonsense from Section O with the rest of the Red Army.

As for that unpopular opinion in the title? I spent some time this week listening to middling-period early 80s KISS this week while refreshing queries, and in spite of Gene calling it a “shitty album,” I kind of think Unmasked is one of my preferred KISS records (mostly because of the Ace Frehley tunes, and his guitar tone throughout), along with Dynasty…long live Disco KISS.

Listening to that sort of thing likely informed the selection generated by the algorithms this week. Lots of 70s and 80s prog and hair metal, and a record I got way too enthused for back when it came out in 1991, and even though I still enjoy it, it’s not as great as it probably could have been, especially if there were more pinched harmonics in the guitar solos (which is probably another unpopular opinion)…

1. “Goodbye Love” – Geordie
2. “Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'” – Helix
3. “Thrive” – Ȧelsund
4. “Kashmir” – Lez Zeppelin
5. “High School Confidential” – Rough Trade
6. “Games People Play” – Alan Parsons Project
7. “Inside Out” – XYZ
8. “Five Long Years” – Colin James
9. “Don’t Close Your Eyes” – KIX
10. “I Don’t Love You Anymore” – The Quireboys
11. “Ballad of Youth” – Richie Sambora
12. “It Doesn’t Really Matter” – Platinum Blonde
13. “All Lips ‘n’ Hips” – Electric Boys

Staring down another Friday, another shutdown threat, and this one’s even more loaded than usual. The seven month(!) continuing resolution that passed the House earlier this week is total hot garbage, and calling it “clean” is even more of a fiction than usual, as it cuts all kinds of funding for necessary services, and perhaps most importantly, is written in such a way that it gives dubious cover for the White House to continue violating Articles One and Two by refusing the spend money Congress has lawfully allocated, giving work-wife Elon and his five bullets the same cover to keep illegally firing my fellow civil servants.

Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I didn’t have such a good understanding of how government worked. Damn my social studies degree!

Anyway, the Senate’s got to approve this before midnight Friday or the government shuts down. Given the rather narrow party split and the need for sixty votes to get this thing passed, all eyes are on the Democrats in order to read the tea leaves about whether enough of them will vote *for* this thing. The media’s spinning all kinds of speculation based on various overheard partial comments, but nobody really knows anything. Many are counting on the Senator Schumer not being able to keep the caucus together and allow the eight votes needed to pass this to bleed away, which is certainly possible, given the evidence of history, but the only publicly professed “yes” vote is Fetterman, who, given his experiences since his election, while never having been really far-left, likely has a very different perspective on things than he did then. Mental health and brain issues suck; believe me, I know.

That said, both of my Senators have publicly stated they’re voting “no,” and I choose to believe it was because I called and emailed this week to tell them to do just that. Yay, active participation.

Yes, a shutdown could be a serious inconvenience to me, the 28 year career civil servant. The thing is, pretty much everyone I’ve encountered in the federal workforce community is rooting for the shutdown to happen, because it’s the only leverage anyone has to limit the wholesale gutting of the federal workforce that’s already happening*. I’m not naive enough to believe anyone will be able to completely stop things, but if the Democrats can obstruct enough, and call their bluff on this garbage bill (which they’re characterizing as the only option to avoid a shutdown, which is like telling someone to drink the beverage they just saw the date rapist drop the roofies in), they can at least limit the damage by doing the thing lawfully according to established Reduction in Force procedures, and doing right by the people who’ll be losing their jobs, by doing it fairly, and offering reasonable, fair recompense.

Then when the bureaucracy is completely unable to function after it’s been bled dry, they can make the MAGA idiot own that shit.

Yes, I’m taking this personally, because it’s my life (♫ and it’s now or never ♫). and I am seriously struggling mentally and physically, not knowing what the next day’s going to bring. When I say “fair recompense” above, I’ve been running a lot of speculative numbers regarding acronyms like VERA and VSIP, should they be offered, to see how doable it is for someone like me to get out of the way so someone more junior who needs it more can keep their job.

I didn’t think I’d ever be seriously looking at retirement at my age, but that’s where we are. Major life decisions like that are not what I was planning on dealing with right now.

Anyway, here are some tunes, because I’m tired of thinking about all this for the moment. What the heck, I’ll feed that song I alluded to a couple of paragraphs ago (the live in Toronto, 2000 version) into the algorithm to see what it spits out. I’m going to go take dog for a long walk along the river:

1. “It’s My Life (live)” – Bon Jovi
2. “Hard to Find the Words” – Cinderella
3. “I Want To Break Free (live)” – Queen
4. “No One at All” – Firehouse
5. “Mr Brightside (live)” – The Killers
6. “My Paradise” – The Outfield
7. “The One I Love (live)” – R.E.M.
8. “Don’t Stop Believin’ (live)” – Journey
9. “Selling The Drama (live)” – Live
10. “Walk of Live (live)” – Dire Straits
11. “Thunderstruck (live)” – AC/DC

________________________________

* – also, while we’re all dreaming of a quick resolution to all of this and an end to all the teasing and poking and prodding, we could use a f*cking break.

So, Ret-Con last week was cool. I was made to feel very welcome by all, and had fun doing neat panels, even if I didn’t get much of an audience for my show. Oh well, it happens.

This past week in the real world, as you might imagine, seriously sucked, apart from my regular after-work walk with the dog. Stress in the public sector is through the roof. We’re working long hours right now to get all the things we can done before the expected shutdown in two weeks, Elon’s “five things” email to train his AIs, and the regular dispatch from the agency Chief of Staff Thursday morning finally including the acronym RIF. And that’s not even including being insulted regularly as a class and a human being by the guy at the top of the org chart.

So yeah, I’ve not been the best frame of mind. I’ve been so damned emotionally broken (tears and random breakdowns all week; I cried while watching Godzilla X Kong: New Empire…) that I’ve barely been able to pick up a guitar, and I have ConVivial this weekend, where I’m playing FIVE shows in different configurations, and I really hope I’m up to it.

That said, I will be surrounded by good, supportive friends who I love very much; they are very much a family, and I cherish them, and will always feel welcome. If I’m wearing a little more of a mask behind the guitar or playing less complex bass parts than usual, they’ll understand and I’ll get by. Besides, the new records (mine, and the new Humdingers record we put out this week) are really good, and I’m looking forward to sharing them.

Anyway, for the curious, here’s where I’ll be when:

• Friday 4pm – Chuck Parker Concert, Richmond Hall B+C
• Friday 5pm – Rise of Nostalgia Panel, New Market C
• Friday 8pm – Blibbering Humdingers Concert, Richmond Hall B+C
• Saturday, 2pm – DIY Music Production Panel, New Market B
• Saturday 4pm, – Dimensional Riffs Concert, Richmond Hall B+C
• Saturday 8pm – Guest Meet & Greet, Richmond Hall B+C
• Saturday 9pm – Blibbering Humdingers Concert, Richmond Hall B+C
• Sunday 11am – Role of Music in Pop Culture Panel, New Market C

So yeah, I’ll be pretty busy, looks like. When I’m not doing these things, I’ll be otherwise catching up with friends, listening to more live music, and trying to drink other people’s booze (hey, it worked last weekend!).

But anyway, I’m really hoping I can keep it together. It’s hard.

Anyway – some tunes. The first one on this list is a banger, as the kids say:

1. “Jealous Moon” – Sarah Jarosz
2. “People Watching” – Sam Fender
3. “Helplessness Blues” – Fleet Foxes
4. “Your Spark (Blows Me To Pieces)” – Cardinal Black
5. “Dirty Laundry” – Don Henley
6. “The Low Spark of High-Heeled Boots” – Traffic
7. “Old Tape” – Lucius
8. “Bobcaygeon” – The Tragically Hip
9. “If I Had A Boat” – Lyle Lovett
10. “Tomorrow Wendy” – Concrete Blonde
11. “Cutting Teeth” – Dear Rouge

So….yeah. Another week; thousands of probationary employees all over the government fired, so many of us glued to r/fednews for the latest rumors, all-hands Teams meetings where HR guys in rumpled suits allude to “huge RIF” using all kinds of words except for those two. The new SECDEF (who’s a moron) doing a video townhall talking about huge cuts to budget and people, but still building “the biggest, most badass military on the planet” and My Agency CIO (an amazing human being) telling us all that “maybe you should probably download a personal copy of your personnel file; just in case.”

Plus, we’re three weeks out from what’s likely to be the longest government shutdown in history, not just because Republicans in Congress can’t agree on how to do a budget, but also because the administration wants to stress out public servants even further and drive more of us out.

My therapist and I had a lot to talk about this week.

In spite of it all, I’ve been managing to keep a lot of the worst of the affects of the stress at bay. I’ve got a decent local support network, probably the best team I’ve ever been part of at work (and we’re making some really cool things lately), and being February, I’ve got a great online community of creative people to share ideas with over at fawm. A lot of us are writing a lot of therapy songs.

I’ve also been trying to unplug a bit when I’m not working – the weather’s been uniformly shit (though the dog, who’s also been a lifesaver for me, loves this batch of snow), but I’ve gotten out to spend a spare hour with friends after work over a drink a couple of times, and I’ve been digging into the mindless joy of the MonsterVerse series. Sometimes watching giant CG Kaiju beating the crap out of each other and destroying CG cities is exactly what you need.

That said, I’m struggling to get excited about much right now; even with the good, there’s a lot of just…numbness

Friday at work’s a half-day, after which I pack up and head down to Raleigh for Ret-Con, to play some music and sit a couple of panels with some Research Triangle nerds, and while I am looking forward to it, I’m struggling to muster enthusiasm. I’ll put on a good show, because a lot of these folks are part of the hometown crowd, like me, and haven’t heard the new record yet, but it’s going to be a bigger mask than usual.

But, if you’re in the area, here’s where I’m scheduled to be:

• Friday, 5pm: Oak – Home Recording & Distribution
• Saturday, 12pm, Dogwood – Comics You Should Read
• Saturday, 3pm, Camellia – Cult Favorites
• Saturday, 7pm, Camellia – Live Music: Chuck Parker
• Sunday, 10am, Dogwood – Tales from the Old Internet

Otherwise, of course, if there’s formal or informal music happening somewhere that doesn’t conflict with my official schedule, I’ll likely be there, and as the con’s using my PA for the weekend, I bet I’ll be running sound at least a little bit…

Now that politics, wallowing, and promo is out of the way, here’s what the algorithm pushed out this week. Tons of indie and such, with a particular favorite artist landing in there at #10. If you don’t know Katie Crutchfield/Waxahatchee, you owe it to yourself to go dig in; it’s great stuff:

1. “If I Know You” – Bonnie Light Horseman
2. “Weighing Down” – Julian Taylor
3. “Only You” – Evan Blix
4. “The Willow” – The Damn Truth
5. “Your House” – Inhaler
6. “Mama” – Cam Cole
7. “Wristwatch” – MJ Lenderman
8. “Green Eyes” – JOSEPH
9. “A Stone Only Rolls Downhill” – OK Go
10. “Much Ado About Nothing” – Waxahatchee
11. “Brightest Star” – Lilly Hiatt
12. “House on Fire” – Toby Lee
13. “Sugar in the Tank” – Julien Baker @ TORRES
14. “Water Underground” – Real Estate
15. “Driver” – Soccer Mommy

Been another week getting lost in the work (the last few days? A hugely successful development sprint for much-needed budget and planning data reporting tools) and trying to not think too hard about the larger world, at least when it’s not intruding into my work inbox.

I’ve been mostly successful, I think; the fact that I had forty hours logged before lunch on Thursday is evidence of that. Sure, Thursday felt way too much like Friday, and the prospect of facing at least a couple of hours on Friday dedicated to walking some folks through the week’s results so they can sell it to the right people isn’t the best feeling, but I’ll get there.

In the less-than-usual off hours, it’s been a lot of changing dressings and cleaning up some blood spatter, since the other morning, one of the eldest’s rats snagged the dog’s ear as she passed the cage and dog ears bleed like crazy. I think we’re mostly past the worst of it, although Tifa’s been very depressed about it, especially the old t-shirt sleeve she’s been wearing to protect the dressing that, among other things, makes her look like a pathetic canine babushka:

Still, she’s a good dog, and has been getting lots of special treats to offset the inconvenience.

The weather’s been uniformly unpleasant, with more rain than snow, so I’ve not gotten outside much. I have, however, filed my taxes, knocked out at least lyrics for seven of fourteen songs for FAWM, recorded what I think will probably be my last parts for the new Humdingers’ record, and managed to spend an hour or two playing Civ VII, which I pre-ordered a few months back before all this uncertainty about whether I’ll have a job in a year crap starting flowing out of the White House…

At least I’m heading into a long weekend and don’t have too many plans, apart from getting together with some friends on Saturday evening for a low-key hangout.

So, tunes. In any attempt to clear my head of a particular earworm I woke up with, I played that first one, and it mostly worked (I have no idea how I remembered every single lyric to a song I haven’t heard in decades). After that, I went down the usual Spotify “Discover Weekly” rabbit hole, and found a bunch really cool stuff I’d not heard before; seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever hit the plus sign icon so many times in succession. it’s all good (especially those guitar solos at #10 on the Bowie cover):

1. “All Out of Love” – Air Supply
2. “It’s Alright” – Cecilia Castleman
3. “All In My Head” – The Linda Lindas
4. “Apocalyptic Folk Song” – Rett Madison
5. “Back in Town” – Connor Bracken and the Mother Leeds Band
6. “So Sweet I Could Die” – Lucia & The Best Boys
7. “Stranger” – Cash & Skye
8. “Highway Forever” – Glitterfox
9. “Better Than Nothing” – Ray Bull
10. “Moonage Daydream” – Magenta Moon
11. “Love Will Probably Kill Me Before Cigarettes and Wine” – Luke Spiller
12. “Holy Roller” – Emily Wolfe
13. “Vanish” – Blueburst

Another particularly stressful week in the public sector, as one would certainly expect if you’re paying attention to the news at all (though the DeRP/”Fork” offer is being addressed only tangentially on a lot of mainstream media sources, especially the more right-of-center ones). Still, when uncleared, unelected Techbros and their minions start taking down whole agencies and scraping citizen’s PII from Federal payment systems, such stories are hard to ignore.

Even amongst all the crap, I’ve managed to get myself lost in the work enough to not break down too much these last few days, and I even kind of enjoyed the two day class I did about “Problem Solving and Decision Making in Changing Organizations” early in the week (scheduled months ago), where I got to meet some people in the organization from other areas and disciplines, and share stories, frustrations, and perspectives. I think I made a couple of friends, and we all kind of discovered we have the same issues with organizational culture and are all stressed as hell given the current waves hands around gesturing to, well…everything.

That whole Fork/Deferred Resignation Program/totally-not-a-“buyout” business, which is still so ridiculously vague and illegal as I understand the law (which as someone who spent more than a decade working contracts and finance, I understand more than most people, though IANAL), was supposed to close at 11:59pm on Thursday, though based on the union lawsuit temporarily blocking things, the deadline got pushed out to Monday, after they actually have the hearing.

That the unions and my Senator and all kinds of other reasonable people are challenging it is all good, though to be honest, I’m kind of disappointed it got pushed out, as now we have another weekend to agonize over what fresh hell is next, given that they aren’t getting nearly the level of acceptance of the “once-in-a-lifetime!” offer that they would’ve liked (last I saw was about 50,000 people, less than 3% of the federal workforce). It’s just going to get worse, with terms like RIF being tossed about, threats to summarily fire all the probationary employees, and of course, the current budget resolution expiring in five weeks, after which everyone is expecting a long, protracted shutdown, if for no other reason than to drive more nonpartisan professional public servants out.

If they’re really serious about gutting the public service sector (and like everything else, that goal’s spelled right out in the Project 2025 manifesto), I’d honestly rather they just yank the bandage off and get on with it so can start coming up with concrete plans about what my life’s going to look like going forward rather than all the theoretical scenarios I’m stuck spinning.

But, in the meantime, I’m going to sit here doing the good work fueled by spite, and hoping the outrage crowds out the sense of existential dread.

So that’s where my head’s at; it’s tough to think about anything else, honestly. I mean, I am doing fawm this year, as I always do, and am actually on track so far to finish (even if I haven’t recorded anything), though after knocking out one of the best things I’ve ever written right out of the gate, I’m doubting whether the rest of it’s going be worth pursuing further. I am letting off some steam writing protest songs which is not nothing.

…and speaking of tunes, here’s this week’s baker’s dozen that came out of the streaming algorithms this morning. Admittedly, I did feed it some different suggestions to build from when it kept spitting way too much 70s prog and butt rock (I honestly have no idea where that came from), but some neat stuff (like #3 – highly recommended!) came out of the experiment, and I think I’m going to be going down the rabbit hole on the artist at #13, because I’m really digging it:

1. “Love Is Only A Feeling” – The Darkness
2. “Big Love (live)” – Lindsey Buckingham
3. “Golden State (live)” – Eddie Vedder and Natalie Maines
4. “Showdown At Big Sky” – Robbie Robertson
5. “The Weight (live)” – Mavis Staples (and a ton of other scary talented people I like)
6. “Tuesday’s Gone” – Metallica
7. “Aqualung” – Jethro Tull
8. “Because The Night (live)” – 10,000 Maniacs
9. “Mother Mother” – Tracy Bonham
10. “Red Rain – Peter Gabriel
11. “Abacab” – Genesis
12. “Blue on Black” – Kenny Wayne Shepherd
13. “Sucker” – Chloe Slater

Yeah, ridiculously stressful week, that’s kept rolling straight through until close of business on Friday, with even more on the horizon already for next week. Who knows what the next bit of weirdness is going to be.

For the moment, I’m keeping on with the work that needs done, and keeping this in mind, and feeling thankful that this guy is my Senator right now.

Once again, this is going to be life for the next four years. But just so this isn’t all crazy, here’s my dog laying claim to the pile of her trash leavings (she loves to shred cardboard boxes and such) I was sweeping up, like a dragon guarding her treasure hoard:

And tunes…lots of 70s AM Gold soft rock for whatever reason:

1. “Summertime Thing” – Chuck Prophet
2. “Dancin’ in the Moonlight” – Thin Lizzy
3. “Little Silver Ring” – The Samples
4. “I Am Lost” – Gord Downie
5. “Ghost Riders in the Sky” – The Outlaws
6. “It’s All over Now, Baby Blue” – The Animals
7. “Strange Magic” – Electric Light Orchestra
8. “Miracles” – Jefferson Starship
9. “I’m Alright” – Kenny Loggins
10. “The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead” – Crash Test Dummies w Ellen Reid
11. “(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman” – The Kinks
12. “Just Breathe” – Willie Nelson, Lukas Nelson
13. “Train, Train” – Blackfoot

Like so many people this morning, after going to bed (way early, as I’m feeling rather awful, but not too awful, since my immune system basically works, unlike other parts of me, at fighting off elementary-school sourced respiratory virii) watching the new guy cave to Colombia’s hitting back at his bullying then claim victory, we woke up to more almost certainly illegal orders, in particular this one from OMB that freezes ” all activities related to obligation or disbursement of all Federal financial assistance” while the White House reviews everything to ensure that it is “dedicated to advancing Administration priorities” and doesn’t support any of that “woke” shit they’re all so afraid of.

What this seems to mean, by the way, is that Federal student aid (loans and grants that so much of this country depends on, regardless of your political leanings) is likely to be delayed or canceled right as the spring semester is starting for college students everywhere.

Including my lovely spouse, who’s going into her last semester to finish her degree.

This, along with things like the whole this whole business that very well might touch me directly, given that it’s also written as vaguely as to potentially refer to both everything and nothing, as well as all the other stuff I’m not going to get into right now, is, as stated previously, raising all kinds of anxiety.

About the only things helping me hold on to what’s left of my sanity are staying off of social media (two weeks and counting) or were prescribed by my doctor.

While I’m sure the Ninth Circuit will have a judgement out suspending that OMB memo before the sun’s up on the west coast, this thing’s still going mess things up for a huge segment of the population.

That said, I expect the people having their faces eaten right now will find a way to rationalize this even as it’s going to affect them and/or their children personally, because that’s the way cult-adjacent political movements supporting fascism work, this particular action, if any, might peel a few folks off, as it hits their pocketbooks as they have to decide whether to pay for those eggs or the kid’s college bill, or hit the bottom line of the broligarchs like Musk when they can’t find enough qualified employees to develop pointless AI tools or lawyers to apply loopholes to let them avoid paying taxes…

But, that might just be the last remaining vestiges of my optimism before the croc goes into the death roll on it talking.

Either way, this is going to hurt a hell of a lot more people, and probably help next to no one, since so many people don’t pay attention (or only pay attention to their bubble; even if my legislative crush Senator Elizabeth Warren managed to work her way behind the curtain last night), that it’s not going to matter and they’ll find some way to blame anyone but the monsters.

Only 207 weeks to go….

So, last weekend’s Marscon was a reasonably successful endeavor, with us playing a couple of good shows (even if the time slots could’ve been better), the band clicking with a great energy you really want for every show, but know really only hits occasionally. We also had a couple of nice official and unofficial circles, where fun was had playing music with friends, many of whom I only see a few times a year.

That said, the general vibe of the place just wasn’t the same as it used to be, in spite of the efforts of many of the “old guard” to try and recapture some of the, I guess, magic. I’m not saying I won’t ever go back (there have been some good management changes that show promise), but it just doesn’t feel like the home it used to.

Oh well, change and all that…

Speaking of, my nearly 30 year career in the public sector is also starting to feel the effects of the unfortunate changes in D.C.; quickly and furiously, due to a couple of Executive Orders that the White House issued shortly after the Inauguration, which are raising the tension level both for me personally and across the workforce.

In cases like this (especially this one), I’m very grateful for my management chain, who from my immediate supervisor up through the Chief Information Officer, which has been very conscientious of and attuned to workforce anxiety, being as transparent as non-partisan decorum allows regarding the direction our organization is getting, and specifically calling out and offering options and resources for dealing with “elevate(d) anxiety, stress, and uncertainty.” This regular communication is very letter of the law, as they should and must be, but the genuine feelings and attitudes are unmistakable to anyone listening, and are much appreciated.

Also appreciated is the annual appraisal I received this week, which said ridiculously nice things about my contribution and effort, and included some very tangible rewards, as such things do. Who knows what it’ll look like next year, given current shifting conditions, but being recognized and assured that my place is secure in the best work team I’ve ever been a part of is always nice, and helps alleviate some of the stress.

…and none of this bullshit (and certainly not this ridiculously tailored piece of bullshit designed to apply in only one case, unless you count Grover Cleveland) is going to lower the price of eggs.

But anyway, that’s the biggest part of where my mind is now, and yes, it kind of sucks, and will give me all kinds of things to chat with the therapist about this month. This coming weekend, however, I’m going to make some music with friends (ahead of ConVivial next month where we’re looking at getting the band back together for a one-off reunion) and probably go out for a beer sometime, because that’s one other thing to do to take your mind off of how the world’s burning down.

You can also listen to music, as I’m in the habit of doing, and this is what the algorithm spit out this week; it’s really 70s classic pop/rock this time around, though the appearance of a Harrisburg staple who had a big regional hit a few years back with #5 down here in old Virginnie is a very welcome addition:

1. “Something To Talk About” – Bonnie Raitt
2. “All the Way from Memphis” – Mott The Hoople
3. “And She Was” – Talking Heads
4. “Willin'” Little Feat
5. “In Your Eyes (live)” – Jeffrey Gaines
6. “Frankenstein” – The Edgar Winter Group
7. “Strung Out” – Steve Perry
8. “Anniversary Song” – Cowboy Junkies
9. “Strange Condition” – Pete Yorn
10. “Come Dancing” – The Kinks
11. “Beautiful Wreck” – Shawn Mullins
12. “(Don’t Go Back To) Rockville” – R.E.M.
13. “Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves” – Cher