I didn’t get out to see John Carter this weekend. I had passes lined up for the DC preview screening last Tuesday, though my schedule and the US Postal Service couldn’t get themselves in sync, so I saw a Salmon Fishing in the Yemen preview screening instead (a short review: good in the way that all those small, high-concept British films are good…worth a watch on a sleepy afternoon).

Yes, I had my choice of two different free preview screenings last Tuesday. This keeps happening. Once you’re in the system, you’re in).

Anyway, I’m honestly looking forward to seeing John Carter, though, despite the fact that it’s marketing has been utter crap, beginning with the fact that they didn’t call it John Carter of Mars for some reason.

Most reviews, though, have been pretty good – I hope the word of mouth carries this one, because the source material is proper classic pulp adventure: swashbuckling heroes, beautiful princesses, cool monsters, and a simple, yet epic story (Edgar Rice Burroughs’ original novels are in the public domain and readily available for your e-reader of choice – Project Gutenberg is a good place to start. They’re well worth the read). This movie should be extremely easy to sell, but Disney somehow botched it.

I will see it one day soon, and I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy it. I really hope that the dialogue retains some of the original novels’ dramatic and operatic tone. For example, here’s a single paragraph from the second book in the series, The Gods of Mars (written in 1914!):

“Rot, Tars Tarkas,” I cried, “those voices come from beings as real as you or as I. In their veins flows lifeblood that may be let as easily as ours, and the fact that they remain invisible to us is the best proof to my mind that they are mortal; nor overly courageous mortals at that. Think you, Tars Tarkas, that John Carter will fly at the first shriek of a cowardly foe who dare not come out into the open and face a good blade?”

To me, that’s just about perfect for a golden age sci-fi hero. No doubt, this, at least in part, is where guys like Stan Lee got their gloriously overwrought and bombastic prose style in the early days of Marvel comics.

Damn, now I’m imagining Warlords of Mars as visualized by Jack Kirby. I wonder if that exists?