This week, I tell ya. It’s bad enough that I haven’t see the sun since Saturday, and then only from the car. Ridiculous number of phone calls with bureaucrats convinced their particular “prestigious” geographic location gives them license to skirt policy and procedures (fuck them, btw). People needing things and being annoyingly persistent about it in spite of receiving a completely satisfactory answer. An 11 hour workday on Wednesday because of those aforementioned phone calls. I didn’t quite see the election results from New Hampshire I wanted to. And, the second of my offspring now holds a learner’s permit; which is just as stressful as it is worth celebrating.

It’s all worked to seriously damage my mental health; I had a bit of a crash mid-week, to the point where I couldn’t even be bothered to eat or drink my feelings, which is my usual crutch when I can’t do something more productive like put 20 strenuous trail miles behind me on the bike because it’s been raining all week and the trails are all mud eight inches deep where the river hasn’t swallowed them up.

I mostly slept. And cursed. A lot.

I am, however, making ridiculous progress with February Album Writing Month with eleven songs to at least the lyrical stage nailed by February 13. Four more to go and I “win”, but I’m going to keep plugging. This year’s content, apart from a pair of comedic ones so far, is dark, since, honestly, the whole thing’s sync’d up with a pretty dark period for me. Lots of songs working through my depression, seasonal affective disorder, and frustration with many aspects of life. Might as well channel those feelings into art.

to wit:

“I wish that I were free
to head out without a plan
drop the gear, pick a direction,
then just drive…”

“A lifetime working to course correct
I lament I’ll never be perfect…”

I want to feel passion
though that inertia of inaction…

…I know depression lies
but it can really be persuasive
sometimes

I’d pray for some relief
if that was a thing I did
but I see the universe is eternally indifferent

Hope you enjoyed that trip through my subconscious. Next record’s gonna be downright stygian and grim.

Not entirely sure what’s gonna go on this weekend; it is, however, a long one, so I get an extra day not chained to the desk. IN the meantime, here are tunes spotify thought I’d enjoy discovering this week. I honestly haven’t heard of any of them (save one), and they’re all appreciatively dark, except for that one, from the quietest and most introverted Monkee:

1. “Mama Nantucket” – Michael Nesmith
2. “I’ll Never Sing Your Name” – Fruition
3. “Georgia” – Calhoun
4. “The Rock and the Hill” – Allison Moorer
5. “Driveway to Driveway” – Superchunk
6. “Afterglow” – Arthur & Yu
7. “Lonely Game” – Steelism
8. “Are You My Love?” – Kelley Stoltz
9. “Lily Pad on Your Doorstep” – Don’t Stop or We’ll Die
10. “No Matter What” – Lou Bartow
11. “Love Is The Law” – The Suburbs
12. “Georgia Dust” – Sunseeker
13. “Common People” – William Shatner
14. “Bittersweet” – Hoodoo Gurus
15. “Never Anyone But You” – The Clientele