Remember, back an eternity ago (but actually only about 48 hours, since this is how the world works now) when I mentioned that the bubble wrap was better than the weeping and irritability? Yeah, that didn’t last long. Wednesday (and most of Thursday as I start writing this missive) were emotionally rough, for no particularly discernable reason. I’m logically sure it has everything to do with delicate balances of various neurotransmitters in my ramshackle cellular construct of a brain, but emotionally, it just feels like the world, on both the micro and macro level, are simply out to get all of us, with both strategic little pokes to tender personal places and grand, global-scale efforts to simply burn it all down because the universe is harsh and uncaring.

That really doesn’t make sense; the universe being indifferent to our fate, yet also needling us personally…but then, human emotional perception of things and my inclination to take those things personally sometimes doesn’t make sense either. It’d be easier if we were logical and green-blooded and such, but then, that’s just a veneer when one considers shit like Pon Farr.

Damn, I really am all over the damned place today.

All those emotional, out-of-tolerance roller coaster rides being a given, I did manage to accomplish a hell of a lot of important and useful work stuff this week, advancing projects, bailing my boss’s ass out of the fire half-a-dozen times (always useful to have in your back pocket), acting as a good steward of tax dollars, and providing documentation for auditors because I’m hella organized and anal retentive.

I also managed to knock out almost fifty miles on the bike this week, though I haven’t really lost weight (I’m hitting that “getting muscle built back up to consume fat” point again), which, in spite of parenthetical justifications, I’m still frustrated by, but my clothes fit better at any rate.

As for the coming weekend, it’s mostly bog-standard (bills, groceries, laundry, etc), though I’m planning on wrapping up my last leg of the Capital Quarantine Challenge on Saturday, which for me is an 18 mile stretch between Charles City County and the Chickahominy River in Williamsburg. In celebration of completing the challenge and earning my t-shirt, I’ll probably have a deserved socially-distanced beer at one of Williamsburg’s fine breweries near the end.

And that’s really all I’ve got (my physical experience in the world is small these days, as should yours be), since I’m really trying not to contemplate how the current US administration is so badly mucking things up that there might not be a next year at this rate (it’s like they know they know the election is lost, so they’re basically just wrecking everything and salting the earth behind them, and taking us all with them), and that kind of thinking just leads back to my musings in the first paragraph of this textural scream into the void.

Anyway, tunes. Lots of mostly late 90s alt-pop from Spotify’s “Weekly Discovery” playlist this time, which is perfectly fine, honestly, but nothing special. Mostly digging the little bit of late ’70s “Armed Forces” slipping in at #10, which just hit me right for some reason:

1. “Premonititory Dream” – Crying
2. “She’s a Sleestak” – Nerf Herder
3. “Overexcited” – Guster
4. “Pink Lite” – Sir Babygirl
5. “As I Walk Into The Sea” – Allie Crow Buckley
6. “New Mistake” – Jellyfish
7. “Have to Forgive” – The Building
8. “When You Know Why You’re Happy” – Richard Reed Parry, Little Scream
9. “Black Metallic” – Catherine Wheel
10. “(What’s So Funny About) Peace, Love And Understanding” – Elvis Costello & The Attractions
11. “Up All Night” – The Boomtown Rats
12. “Carlotta Valez” – Harvey Danger