i don’t wanna
That really about sums up my outlook at the moment.
I’d much rather be positive, of course, and I try to make that choice as often as I can, but so far this week, I’ve had a hard time summoning energy to be productive, and am honestly relying on inertia and sufficiently distant deadlines to keep the wheels turning.
It’s hot, humid, and full of allergens out there (though I keep biking because physical health, endorphins, and also because it’s one of the only ways I can get an hour entirely to myself without anyone else’s demands on me), and there’s just too much life-mass (does that make sense?) in here, between the people and the cats, and for at least eight hours a day, I’m tethered to the office via internet pipe that mostly works, except when the damned systems I need go down.
I can’t get comfortable anywhere, and it’s starting to wear on me, which means it’s wearing on them too, and thus, the cycle feeds itself.
Sure, physics says that a perpetual motion machine isn’t possible; maybe they should talk to the psychologists and just get it done.
I wish I had better news, or a better outlook. I’m trying; I truly am, but it’s really tough going.
I know that this is a historical, once-in-a-century fustercluck we have going on here in the world right now, especially since idiots in charge are bored and much of the rest can’t be bothered to care about the larger community because they’re selfish contrarians. When the world outside my window looks like this, it’s just hard to be optimistic.
