I woke up with a weird sense of existential dread and anxiety this morning.

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because it was Monday morning. The weekend was productive -I made a lot of progress toward meeting the deadlines for those creative projects I’m working on with other people- one’s not quite done, but I have plenty of time to get a vocal track and final mix I’m happy with before I owe it to someone. Same thing with work projects; I’m largely in a holding pattern waiting for other people do their thing so I can close a few things out. I’m hoping that bodes well for the rest of the year.

Yet this morning was a wash of anxiety and meh-ness, and I can’t nail down a definitive source.

There are memories of some weird dreams last night that could be a cause or merely a symptom, including the fairly common “I’ve got a huge paper due in hours for an English class that I didn’t know I was enrolled in. I vaguely remember the assignment being something like a literary analysis of some sort of by-the-numbers sci-fi show, something akin to “The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon” from the Murderbot books, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, but then neither does much of my subconscious. But the feelings are real, they just tend to express themselves in bizarre fashion sometimes.

The other image sticking with me from last night’s brain dump is a theoretical installment of the Fast and Furious film series with a vampire antagonist, possibly played by Parker Posey a-la Blade: Trinity. In this half-remembered fiction, Toretto got turned, and spent a good bit of the film trying to turn everyone else, because “family.”

Even through the fog of anxiety, I’ll be honest, that sounds absolutely awesome.