Earlier this week, a friend shared a series of posts on social media from a disaster response expert about “The Six Month Wall,” a point in any ongoing crisis where a person is just done, tired of the grind, of coping, and has just lost all semblance of enthusiasm, motivation, and productivity.

I’m there. We’re all there. My depression and anxiety are higher than normal. I struggle to summon enthusiasm for anything, even stuff I love. My creative output and motivation has dwindled to about zero. I’m stuck.

I did a little online digging, and found an article written in the UK Telegraph by the source of that series of tweets, Aisha Ahmad, that expounds on the idea a little bit. I recommend you read it, there’s some good information there. The gist, however, is to recognize that this “wall” hits pretty much everyone, like clockwork, at this time, in this type of situation (disaster response, deployment, distant assignments), where a person’s “normal” is up-ended, and adapting and dealing with the changes becomes increasingly tiresome and burdensome. The good news is, however, that the wall passes, usually after a couple of weeks, and can be made easier with certain coping mechanisms, the biggest of which is managing expecations of yourself; specifically, lowering them.

It’s totally okay to give yourself permission to be less productive and creative for a bit. It’s okay just to go through the motions and do the minumum required to satisfy your commitments.

For people who’ve been conditioned through life, academia, and fast-paced public service work toward achievement though, it’s a tough thing to do. Some folks say “Cs get Degrees”, but for some of us, that’s really not good enough, is it?

I’m trying. I’m letting go of some of the workload, or at least handling some of the more routine stuff, rather than the big show-stopping projects, for the day job. I’ve kind of let the music lie fallow a bit, other than workng some of the background cycles in my brain. I’m trying to sleep more, reading (more) books about realities other than this one, and give myself some more of the rejuvenating activities I enjoy doing.

And it sorta works. It’s not a switch to flip; it’s a process. I’m also kind of impatient. It doesn’t help that this wall is hitting right at the season change when I struggle with allergies (whose symptoms look just similar enough to the ‘rona that it tweaks the worry a bit), or that eye strain is still real because my damned new glasses aren’t in yet. Or that I get pulled into other people’s drama because they don’t necessarily have the coping skills they should, or, or, or…..

Oh well, as I say, I’m trying.

“Normal,” if we ever do get back to it, is probably a good way off, in any case. I found this piece this morning that talks to a bunch of experts about “…how the pandemic finally ends”, and it makes a lot of sense, which if not amazing news, is actually pretty well sourced and makes consistent sense with the evidence available and what I’m seeing in the world.

Unlike the story coming out of the White House, we’ve not “rounded the corner.” Unlike the popular conspiracy theories I hear around me in checkout lines or when I find myself in places that conservatives feel “safe”, it’s not going to just disappear after the election.

We’re in adaptive social distance mode for at least another year in the most optimistic of circumstances. Luckily, as Ms. Ahmad says in her piece:

Do not be afraid of round two. You have already learned how to navigate this “new normal” and have the skills you need. Remember, in their first six months of deployment, most people spend all their time simply figuring things out. In their second round, they know the terrain and are much more effective. Same rules apply here. You have six months of vital experience that prepared you. You already know how to survive under these conditions. You have proved you can do it.

I really hope so.

___________

In the meantime, we have music, which can be an effective escape, or at least a form of therapy. Stylistically this week, Spotify is giving me lots of indie and punk-adjacent, and it’s not a bad listen, but I can’t help but see so many song titles apropos to the current situation:

1. “Why Can’t I Touch It?” – Buzzcocks
2. “Feel The Same” – Bully
3. “Then They Came For Me” – The Drones
4. “Homosapien” – Pete Shelley
5. “Black Magic” – Jarvis Cocker
6. “Natural’s Not In It” – Gang of Four
7. “Whole Wide World” – Wreckless Eric
8. “A Moose Moving” – Hopfratei
9. “Talking Heads” – Black Midi
10. “Three Girl Rhumba” – Wire
11. “So Blue” – Frankie Cosmos
12. “Pink” – Mothers