There’s an image cropping up on the social net that, at first glance, seems to suggest that geek culture provides much better role models for girls than does mainstream media. However, as Amanda Marcotte points out, it’s a bit more complicted than that.

While the idea Kaylee and Zoe are better role models than Kardashians is unassailable, I was somewhat ill-at-ease with the image*, and with it’s suggestion that geek culture is universally celebratory and welcoming to the female point of view, because, in my experience, vast swaths of it are not.

Rather than being a Monolithic (ahem) bloc, “geek culture” is an assemblage of a wide variety of loosely-affiliated interest areas. It covers genres including fantasy, sci-fi, horror, paranormal and steampunk, and delivery mechanisms such as literature, film, comics, games of all sorts, art, and music.

Certain segments of this area are not only feminist positive, but inclusive and celebratory to all sorts of minority participation. Most fan conventions I’ve attended go out of their way to include discussions and panels relating particularly to the interests of these sub-groups. Discussions are happening, and not simply perfunctory discussions. Much of fandom goes out of it’s way to be inclusive, tolerant, and welcome to everyone who wants to participate in the shared enthusiasm for our particular interests, and the feeling of community we derive from enjoying entertainments that aren’t always mainstream. We really do enjoy and revel in our mutual assignment to the Island of Misfit Toys by mundane society.

However, not everything in our niche is so progessive. For every protagonist like Kitty Norville or Jane Sagan, there’s a Bella Swan or (the literary) Dejah Thoris. For every convention panel discussing the complicated attitudes toward gender and sexual orientation present in Heinlein’s body of work, there’s an instance of dismissive condescension toward the girl who sits down at the gaming table. For all it’s high utopian ideals, there’s a lot of sexist crap rattling around fandom. In some areas, geeks could be more welcoming. Those that don’t fit the adopted stereotype face certain challenges to entry. Ask my wife about being the “girl in the comic book store” sometime.

I think a lot of it can be attributed to the percentage of NiceGuys™ one finds within geekdom. it’s not surprising, really – clever yet unappreciated nobodies become heroes and get the girl all the time in science fiction and fantasy; it feeds a certain wish fulfillment. Combine this with benign advice from parents and sympathetic teachers about “hidden potential”** and the hard to shake middle school nerd echo chamber (“wait’ll we’re running things, then we’ll show ’em!”), and you get feelings of underdog entitlement and resentment toward the world (particularly women) who won’t fit their imagined paradigm. This is unfortunate.

Thankfully, most of us get over it, eventually. Some of us don’t. All of us, though, tend to run in similar social circles. As you can imagine, it’s not that hard to encounter what often become “teachable moments” in fandom. Sometimes these teachable moments are loud and contentious. But, in at least some cases, the ideas get through, and things get better.

So, yeah, there are problems with sexism in geek culture. Both in the media we are so devoted to, and in the social interaction when we find ourselves together in fora,There a couple of things that give me hope that things will continue to get better:

First, in terms of media, creators are writing lots of really great stuff that’s not particularly sexist, and often very progressive in terms of gender and race relations. These works are often explicitly cast as reactions to the genre’s boys club past in order to widen potential audiences.

Secondly, in terms of the culture, we geeks like to talk and argue and deconstruct things. We like looking for problems to solve. We may, as a group, have a greater than average concentration of introverts with social anxiety, but we are, above all else, passionate about our favorite things, and enjoy the company of others who do as well, even if we disagree with them

In little pockets across fandom; at gaming tables, in con panels, in line at the movies, and in internet venues all over, we’re talking about things. Sometimes, those things are relative trifles, like whether the Millenium Falcon would win a race with Serenity (and which units of measuring distance or time would be appropriate for scoring such a contest), but other times they’re of great importance, such as how we all relate to each other, and I, personally, would like to hope that as those topics come up, we’ll rise to the occasion, leading toward a fandom that’s as welcome and diverse as it aspires to be.

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* – I had a couple of problems specifically with the image. First, it’s not a good comparison when the “mundane” sample is made up of “real-life” people (or at least reality tv stars), and the sci-fi sample is made up of fictional characters. Why not populate the bottom of the chart with real-life role models like Jane Espenson, Octavia Butler, Felicia Day or Gail Simone? Secondly, Lady GaGa, besides being as geek friendly as they come, is a great role model for girls, being a prolific songwriter, talented performer, and excellent steward of her own career in the music business (with a fashion sense that’s totally in line the the average con masquerade). GaGa doesn’t belong with the rest; she’s one of ours.

** – I speak of course of “they just don’t appreciate you for who you are. You’re wonderful, they don’t know what they’re missing” and it’s ilk. In most cases, this advice has a core of truth, though it’s not particularly helpful. More practical advice would be “you’re a good and valuable person, and others might better see that if you showered regularly and wore a clean shirt. Also being a smart-assed git all the time and discounting someone’s contribution because they have ovaries is generally a bad move. Also, don’t discount the unconventionally cute geek girls who are interested in the same things you are – having common interests is important, once you actually talk to someone. Oh yeah, talk to them. They may not meet your unrealistic idealized vision, but neither does the buxom blonde you’re admiring from afar.” Is it that obvious that I speak from experience here?