turnover

03
Jan

The New Year’s celebration, was, for me, pretty much non-existent. On December 31, the most exciting thing I did was buy tires and manage stress. I air-fried some brussells sprouts and broccoli, and went to bed before 9pm. So, so exciting.

For New Years’ Day, I did the thing I try to do every year and establish a tradition; “First Day Hikes” in Virginia State Parks. It’s a nice thing, actually; they waive parking fees on January 1st, and give you a nice sticker and stuff. I woke early, packed up a few things (including rain gear, per the forecast), and headed down the road to Pocahontas, picked the longest black diamond trail I could find, and started walking. Three hours, one stream fording, and a few overland orienteering exercises later, I’d hiked ten and a half miles, stripped off a few layers because the sun came out, and headed out of the park about the time the rest of the state showed up to crowd the picnic pavilions.

The rest of the weekend I did laundry, and sat with the cat and watched a couple of things on TV, and kept an eye on the moving target a certain January gig is possibly becoming. “Don’t Look Up” on Netflix is pretty entertaining, all-told, even if it’s a little too accurate in terms of capturing human behavior.

And now, it’s time to go back to work, and see if the dreaded “s” word prediction actually comes true.

by the numbers: 2021

31
Dec

As per usual, I’m closing the year out by breaking down my experience into quantifiable elements, because I tend to count things, and it feeds my OCD tendencies. Also, as crappy as the year might feel overall, looking at things from a numbers perspective helps to highlight things that weren’t necessarily so objectively awful, which is definitely the kind of thing I need to see sometimes.

For example, I kicked all kinds of ass in terms of my cycling habit, and made some decent progress with my musical side gig, in terms of sales and performances, especially given current conditions, and somehow managed to become a published poet as well.

That said, I can’t help but notice I’m pointing out a lot of objectively not cool things this year. I’ve lost friends, missed out on potential cool experiences, and cultivated all kinds of frustration and depression because of said conditions, especially the way a relatively small percentage of society continues to refuse to act with basic responsibility and exercise a base level of empathy for their fellow humans.

So yeah – 2021 has definitely been a mixed bag:

  • 0: hours I’ve spent in an actual office this year – working from home, all the time.
  • 2578: miles spent on road and trail, biking and hiking
  • 55: miles in this year’s longest single-session bike ride
  • 4: total number of rides over 50 miles
  • 49.6: average bike/hike miles per week across the year
  • 74: books read this year
  • 4: total vaccinations injected into this body
  • 1: number of places (besides the vaccination center itself) that have asked to see my COVID-19 vaccination card)
  • 13: musical performances in front of actual, live people, including open mics
  • 1: open mic performances where the only audience member was the bartender
  • 1: number of print publications I’ve had work appear in
  • 15: songs written
  • 1: records I released as me this year
  • 3: records (including mine) on which I appeared
  • 38: individual music sales (online and physical)
  • 1: number of times my music streams revenue hit the $10 threshold to actually disburse funds to me
  • 2: conventions actually attended in person this year
  • 6: appearances on podcasts/online video for interviews/performances
  • 311: beer check-ins according to untappd
  • -30: total difference in pounds of body weight over the last 365 days
  • 0: Pegasus award nominations/wins (it wasn’t our year)
  • 5: facemasks I currently cycle through
  • 1: facemasks lost this year
  • 2: trips to the drive-in (only place I feel comfortable going out to the movies)
  • 3: trips out of state
  • 2: number of elections voted in
  • 1: political candidate donations
  • 0: number of my candidates who actually won
  • 98: the percentile I fall into on spotify in terms of users who listen to Frank Zappa
  • too many: people I know who contracted COVID
  • a small percentage, but still too many: people I know who’ve died of it
  • ∞ : times I’ve silently cursed non-masked idiots in public (or at least feels that way)
  • ∞ : times I’ve chosen the longer line at the store to avoid unmasked/improperly masked idiots
  • 3: years we’ll have been dealing with this whole pandemic business when the calendar changes
  • forever: how long it feels like we’ll be dealing with this because of those people I mention two and three lines above this one

It’s kind of hard to feel some sort of optimism right now, to be perfectly honest, but I’m going to try. Hopefully the coming year will be a little better. Long-term historical patterns suggest the current state won’t hold, and will eventually swing the other way; I just have to hope we’re here long enough for the pendulum to move.

Happy New Year.

whatever day it is semi-random elevenish: “sure, christmas” edition

25
Dec

Yep, Amy and Emily singing Joni captures holiday depression pretty damned well.

Gonna be totally honest, I’m not at all feeling the holiday season this year. We’re damned near into the third year of this pandemic, mostly because selfish assholes gonna asshole, I lost a dear, dear friend a week ago whose passing I’m still coming to terms with, on top of the usual seasonal depression that always hits this time of year, what with the mourning of things long past, including a bunch of things that never really existed in the first place, in spite of what societal norms this time of year tell me.

Plus, I live with someone working retail and there’s a nasty covid-negative respiratory thing getting passed around.

Given all that, apart from sharing a few gifts over the course of the last week, we’re pretty much opting out of the whole thing this year. With work being busy right up to the end, and generally feeling the way we all are, we didn’t even put up a tree. For Saturday, we’re probably going to sit around, eat cheese, drink beer, and watch a couple of movies. That’s enough, and honestly probably the most my spoon reserve can manage.

But, as it’s the end of the week, I have this habit of posting some music that came out of the computer. This week, it’s not exactly random; KT’s husband Kevin asked me to help him with the music for the memorial service we’ll do after the holidays, so I went through all the playlists she made and songs she liked on the streaming services to come up with a list to start paring down. Today, I’m going to just post a bit of that list; a bunch of songs that she liked, that, for one reason or another, kinda feel like her. So here it is:

  1. Rivers and Roads – The Head and the Heart
  2. Kacey Musgraves – Follow Your Arrow
  3. Time and Time Again – Counting Crows
  4. Yours – Ella Henderson
  5. The Best You Had – Nina Nesbitt
  6. Sit Still, Look Pretty – Daya
  7. Best Day of My Life – American Authors
  8. Your Side of the Bed – Loote
  9. Exes & Ohs – Elle King
  10. Bury Me Face Down – grandson
  11. Colorblind – Counting Crows
  12. Love it If We Made It – The 1975
  13. Shout Out to My Ex – Little Mix
  14. I See Fire – Ed Sheeran
  15. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch
  16. The Ballad of Miss Lily – David Ford

As it’s the day, I wish all of you a happy holiday, whichever traditions you celebrate, or don’t – may whatever you do bring you a little peace.

still processing the loss

18
Dec

Yesterday morning, not long after my usual end-of-week song list post celebrating the beginning of my holiday break, we learned that our dear friend, KT Hicks, passed away after more than a year of struggling to overcome the aftereffects of a stroke.

She and her family have been part of our lives for what seems like forever, since our mutual friend Jonah Knight suggested she maybe invite my lovely spouse and me to a holiday house concert he was playing at her place oh so many years ago. We became fast friends that day, and over the years our families became intermingled and inseparable, spending special occasions, holidays, gaming sessions, and adventures together, simply enjoying each other’s company. Her daughter and my kids effectively grew up together; they’re family – no other way to describe it.

She was a tremendous wit, a caring soul, a talented writer, and a dear, dear friend.

Once we got the news on Friday morning, I quickly wrapped up some things at home and the eldest and I hopped in the car to Chesapeake to be with her grieving husband and child, both of whom are just as special to us. There really wasn’t any question that we wouldn’t. I think our presence helped a bit; both for them and for us.

That said, I spent so much of the day yesterday being strong for others, that I kind of compartmentalized my grief and it all kind of came out a few hours ago while I was cleaning the living room; big, ugly, blubbering crying – I’d worried about my friend for more than a year, unable to visit her at the care facility due to pandemic conditions, and now? I’ll never see her again. The realization hit me like a ton of some heavy noun I can’t come up with right now.

No more shared laughs, drinks, or stories. I’ll never read another new book she’s written (or have the honor of being a beta reader/copy editor for her again), and I’ll never again see her take delight in a clever retort or a live musical performance. My life, so many lives, will be all the poorer for her no longer being a part of them.

friday random elevenish: “winding down the year” edition

17
Dec

So, today’s my last day of work in 2021. The last couple of weeks have been busy with lining everything up for a two week break, but yesterday afternoon I successfully pushed the last bit of virtual paper off my virtual desk that needed pushed, and I’m looking forward to today largely being an exercise organizing the remaining bits and carefully composing my out-of-office email responder.

As for what’s on my schedule for the next couple of weeks? Honestly, not a hell of a lot. As usual, I’m going to do my best to unplug, spend time time some people I am fond of, eat and drink a little too much, relax with some interesting media, maybe make a little music and try to put the bureaucratic stuff what I does for money out of my mind for a little bit.

We’ll see how that goes.

Related to the second-to-last item on that list, I got a bit of an early start on things last night, as I shook off a little dust and played the open mic over at Art & Coffee, both solo and with my eldest kid, who did one song with me, and then belted her way through a tune from Hamilton that brought the house down. Also, I didn’t completely suck, and got to see a few folks (including my friend Schickie who runs the thing) I haven’t seen in a while, as I haven’t been to this one since late summer. It was fun.

As for what this space’ll look like over the next couple of weeks? I don’t know, really. I know I sort of have a couple of year-end wrap up things I usually do, and probably will, but since I spend at least eight hours a day staring at a computer screen, when I’m off, I do my best to spend time *not* doing that. Also, at least for the near term, the weather’s on track to be unseasonably beautiful in these parts (seriously, it broke 70° yesterday, and looks to do the same today), so I’m going to try to get out on the trails a bit, and unlike earlier this week, not nearly collide with a startled great blue heron (seriously).

So yeah; happy holidays and all that, whichever of them you celebrate. See you on the other side.

…but not before tossing out the usual Friday system-generated playlist. Surprisingly prog rock this week; featuring multiple 10+ minute epic symphonies created by the Yes-adjacent. Not sure why; as I’ve largely been listening to Japanese Breakfast and Lake Street Dive so you’d expect breathy female-fronted bluesey retro pop, but…who knows what strangeness drives the Deities of Data*:

  1. “American Music” – Violent Femmes
  2. “Mrs. Robinson” – The Lemonheads
  3. “North Star” – Robert Fripp
  4. “Gone, Gone, Gone” – The Everly Brothers
  5. “Quadrant 4” – Billy Cobham
  6. “Mr. Skin” – Spirit
  7. “Brother of Mine” – Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe
  8. “The Big Medley…(live)” – Dream Theater
  9. “La Villa Strangiato” – Steve Morse, Mike Portnoy, Billy Sheehan, James Murphy
  10. “Sometime World” – Wishbone Ash
  11. “Devil’s Door” – Nektar
  12. “Is This The Life?” – Cardiacs
  13. “Shutout” – The Walker Brothers

__________________

*-…which is totally the name of the boots’n’pants electronica band I’m starting one of these years…

that kind of morning…

13
Dec

Spoony.

friday random elevenish: “realizations and diminishing resources” edition

10
Dec

This week; just kind of flew on by, in part because I’ve been so darned busy working to put as many entries on the ‘to-do’ list to bed before the end of the work year as possible while the pool of available resources to answer my questions drops like a steeply dropping graph of people burning through use-or-lose leave at the end of the calendar year.

Still, I got a ton of stuff done, even if each unit of “stuff” was replaced by one-point-something units of new stuff, but at least those are due later. Such is the life of the de-facto deputy head of the program management center in a mid-sized public sector organization.

And that’s really what I’m coming to understand my job to be; whenever somebody needs to talk to my boss, they call me because they know they’re not going get hold of him because he’s always triple-booked, and they know I can probably find their answer anyway.

It could also be that several people told me straight off they consider me “second in command” or something like it over the last couple of weeks.

At least that likely means my job is secure, and the boss has indicated that my efforts will be remembered come evaluation time (which has actually passed now, and I’m waiting for the paperwork to catch up to see if that is indeed the case).

Yeah.

Otherwise, there hasn’t been a heck of a lot happening. I’m hiding shipped-in Christmas presents, taking brisk walks in the park (twice this week followed by stops at a watering hole for an interesting seasonal brew or two) and trying to get myself invested in this new Cory Doctorow book, and not quite getting the results I’m hoping for.

That, and trying to decide if I like these bluetooth earpod things I got a deal on the other weekend. They work okay, I guess, when they decide to stay in the ears like they’re supposed to. The sound quality is decent enough, though if I want some real fidelity and dynamic range, my big Tascam cans are just there on the shelf to my right.

In fact, I’m listening to this week’s algorithmically-generated playlist of things Spotify thinks I would like on them right now. It’s a lot of 80s and 90s “alternative rock” or whatever we called it then this week. I expect that next week will be weirder, as I’ve been choosing to listen to a bunch of Japanese Breakfast (discovering the concept of the “royal road chord progression” in the process) and Punch Brothers. Whatever the case, I’m still digging this week’s jams, even Ace covering Cream there at #8, and of course, Zappa and crew there at the end, because it’s me:

  1. “Dim” – Dada
  2. “Gloria” – U2
  3. “Swingin'” – Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
  4. “Down” – Son Volt
  5. “Blues from a Gun” – THe Jesus and Mary Chain
  6. “Hoover Dam” – Sugar
  7. “Makes No Sense at All” – Hüsker Dü
  8. “White Room” – Ace Frehley
  9. “Sail On Sail Away” – Moxy
  10. “Never Say Never” – Romeo Void
  11. “Voyager” – Gamma
  12. “Oz is Everything” – Oysterhead
  13. “Directly From My Heart To You” – The Mothers of invention

friday random elevenish: “moderna love” edition

03
Dec

As I type this, I’m a little more than twelve hours out from getting my booster shot. Moderna this time, as, while it doesn’t really matter with the mRNA varieties, there’s some evidence that that the Pfizer-Moderna combo provides a bit more protection, and I figured I’d cover all the bases. In terms of side effects thus far, the injection site is sore and the lymph nodes in the neck are swollen, though I’m expecting things to go downhill from here.

Oh well; It’s a light work day, and I don’t really have any plans for the weekend.

And, I’m glad I’ve got it done. A lost weekend’s worth the peace of mind.

And hey, Congress got their sh!t together and I won’t have to worry about being locked out of office until February at least.

In terms of tunes, I seeded things with a peppy little tune that I’ve been enjoying on the local indie radio station for the last couple of months, and then just let the algorithms take control, and the results are kind of all over the place, really, which, let’s be honest, reflects my tastes pretty well. And I always forget how much I dig that mini-symphony coming in at #14:

  1. “Be Sweet” – Japanese Breakfast
  2. “Fall Down” – Toad the Wet Sprocket
  3. “Fearless (live)” – The Magpie Salute
  4. “Will The Wolf Survive” – Los Lobos
  5. “Warranty” – Meat Puppets
  6. “Are You Drinkin’ With Me Jesus” – Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon
  7. “Mr. Brownstone” – Guns N’ Roses
  8. “Old Siam, Sir” – Wings
  9. “Eaten By The Monster Of Love” – Sparks
  10. “Wells Fargo” – Babe Ruth
  11. “Murder” – David Gilmour
  12. “Double Life” – The Cars
  13. “Black Gold” – Soul Asylum
  14. “Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding” – Elton John

omicron delta

30
Nov

While I was taking my leave of the online world this weekend, another ‘rona variant arrived on the scene, designated Omicron (o), which a much scarier sounding greek letter than Delta (δ), even if we don’t know much of anything about it and it’s actual impact just yet.

As for what I’m doing about it, and what I, an admitted non-expert civilian, recommend *everyone* do about it, is to keep practicing social safety measures such as hand washing, social distancing, and wearing a damned mask when I have to go to the store or whatever.

I’m also going to get my COVID booster ASAP – I initially waited a bit because I was operating on old information (this is science in real time after all) that recommended waiting a couple of weeks between the annual flu vaccine (I got mine at the end of October) and the booster, though the most recent guidance says that an interval isn’t necessary, and, in fact, recommends that people save a trip and do them both at the same time if possible.

To emphasize the point here: I’m going to keep doing the things I’ve been doing all along to avoid getting or spreading COVID, and it’s worked so far.

Sadly, there’s a significant minority of people in this country (and the world, I suppose) that refuse to do this, largely because of political affiliation and bad information spread by social media. This significant minority, unsurprisingly, is made up primarily of white rural conservatives, who for all sorts of reasons, ranging from conspiracy theories to “owning the libs,” refuse to take this thing seriously, even after nearly two years and most of a million Americans dead.

And, at least in part, because of those people, COVID-19 is no longer a virus to eradicate; it’s become endemic, here to stay, forever.

That said, most people don’t really understand how this works, and the up-and-down of virus numbers lines up with the political fate of elected officials who, apart from a few significant exceptions, are doing the best they can with the information and power they have to deal with this thing. Sadly, the cycle of people refusing to do the responsible thing, often for political reasons, is preventing these steps from having the most desirous effects, and because the buck stops at the White House, are unfairly blaming the current administration for the continued existence of the problem.

It’s that damned “rights vs responsibilities in citizenship” thing again that I continue to rattle my cage door about, and what’s likely going to be the final nail in the coffin of this unique experiment we call the United States of America unless that “change rising from crisis” pattern I keep looking to for solace eventually happens on it’s sort of usual half-century timeline.

But, once again, honestly, what I see when I go outside to buy cat food doesn’t look anything like our better angels, and I’m finding optimism kind of hard.

Plus, y’know, another potential shutdown at the end of the week.

At least I got to make a couple of cheap Star Trek and Transformers jokes. Take the win.

wednesday random elevenish: “giving thanks…offline” edition

24
Nov

For a short holiday week, I’ve been awfully busy at work trying to line all kinds of things up for the end of the calendar year slow season. Project documentation review/edits, trying to figure out how to support a last-minute test support request when most of the technical experts are on use-or-lose leave, seemingly never-ending “town hall” meetings with various flavors of leadership trying to tie up the year while folks are still here, which often include aggressively obstructionist vaccine mandate “questions” and all that…plus, y’know, unless they do something in DC, we’re out of money come next Friday.

Given all that, I need a little break to clear the head, so I’m taking a long Thanksiving weekend, and largely unplugging; leaving the email, headlines, social media, and even the phone in do-not-disturb mode for a couple of days, and just giving thanks for the peace and quiet.

Ideally, the only bandwith I’m planning on using will be dedicated to streaming services to watch some of the wealth of great newish TV that’s popped up in the last week or two. Seriously, between the live-action Cowboy Bebop, Wheel of Time, MotU Revelation part two, Hawkeye and my new favorite, The Great out there, I’m planning on logging some serious lazy couch time this weekend with good food and likely a couple of good beers.

Yeah, I’ll still do my best to get some outside time (had a wonderful four mile hike after work yesterday for example) and get the chores done and the bills paid, but really, my primary goal is to rest, relax, and tune out the stressors of the world for a couple of days.

So, really, don’t expect to see much of me through the series of tubes, because I’ll be chilling and detoxing in meatspace.

Before I go, though, as is tradition at the end of my week (whenever that happens to be), I make a list of what the algorithms serve up for me to listen to based on whatever data it uses to track me. This latest playlist is surprising, consisting largely of deep cuts from retro indie rock, given that my soundtrack for the last couple of weeks has been a bunch of Zappa, Prog Rock, and bits of the new Adele record.

That said, I kinda dig the overall upbeat vibe it’s throwing, recognize that Zappa connection at #9 that somebody’s going to call me on, and am somewhat perplexed at the multiple mentions of Venus.

Hope your holiday weekend is as restful as I’m intending mine to be. Rawk:

  1. “The Slider” – T. Rex
  2. “Under My Thumb” – Pentagram
  3. “Get It On” – Kingdom Come
  4. “Far Side of Crazy” – Wall of Voodoo
  5. “Radar Gun” – The Bottle Rockets
  6. “Goodbye (live)” – Oingo Boingo
  7. “Wolfman Jack” – Todd Rungren
  8. “Three Of A Perfect Pair” – Between the Buried and Me
  9. “Big Eyed Beans from Venus” – Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
  10. “Nitro” – Dick Dale
  11. “Venus of Avenue D” – Mink DeVille
  12. “Stray Cat Strut” – Stray Cats
  13. “Down With Disease” – Phish
  14. “Keep It Out of Sight” – Dr. Feelgood
  15. “Happy Boy” – The Beat Farmers

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