So, we’re well into week four, and still no particular movement on anything. The legislative branch continues to stay buried in their bunkers, emerging every now and then to vote the same way they have the last dozen times, and the executive branch is way more into trashing landmarks of great historical significance than governing or “making deals.”

I’ve had good days and bad days. Projects included continued puttering at the new album, making a nice pot of vegetable soup, working some financial arrangements that’ll be of great assistance if this whole business goes on as long as it feels like it’s going to, rebuilding the music promo site in WordPress for supposedly easier editing down the road, and doing whatever I’m able to in order to stop obsessing over the news and wallowing in an unpleasant spiral of anxiety.

Highlights of the week included a really nice morning hike at Pocahontas, and we had a wonderful and thoroughly enjoyable lunch out with some out-of-state friends who were passing through town on a day the lovely spouse wasn’t working. It was something I ended up really needing.

Especially after looking at the LES I got in the email showing lots of zeroes on it instead of the paycheck that was supposed to hit my account yesterday.

I did wake up this morning to the release of a musical project my friend Corwyn that he was nice enough to have me play some bass on, and it sounds damn good if I do say so myself. If you’re looking for some solid creepy hard rock and ambient music to make your Halloween party kick more ass, I recommend grabbing this one:

In any case, that’s life right now; damn near the same as it ever was, at least since the new FY started. As for what the algorithm spit out while I was drinking my morning caffeine and reviewing and signing documents, it started out with lots of cool indie folk like I’ve been listening to, then that Jack White tune kicked in at #7, and I realized I wanted some more chunky distorted guitar, so I switched things up a bit:

1. “Wreck” – Neko Case
2. “Ultraviolet” – Clover County
3. “Uh Huh” – Jade Bird
4. “Save Your Soul” – Kathleen Edwards
5. “Enough” – Jeff Tweedy
6. “Help Me” – Low Cut Connie
7. “Archbishop Harold Holmes” – Jack White
8. “Everyday Magic” – My Morning Jacket
9. “Only Love” – Bodeans
10. “After the Party” – The Menzingers
11. “Hold On, I’m Coming” – Melissa Etheridge
12. “Magic Power” – Triumph
13. “I Wish I Had A Girl” – Henry Lee Summer

Such a week. I got a lot of stuff done, around the house and creatively (knocked out the bones of pretty much a whole album), though between entering shutdown week three, experiencing a personal health setback, some minor drama elsewhere, fearing for a cat’s life, and the effing dishwasher dying…again, it’s not been entirely awesome. I am, for the most part, managing, though the anxiety’s certainly up, and mental health could be better. All I can do is stick to the bits I can control (plans upon plans), and try to keep brushing the rest of it that I can’t off, as they say:

But, I won’t deny that’s primarily been the focus. Been keeping up with my fellow feds in our corners of the net a bit -venting, sharing info, making predictions, though not too much, because while I’ve got to keep up (it’s relevant, and following public policy is kind of my nature), too much isn’t good for me. I’ve read two and a half books this week instead, all of which are escapist, otherworldly stuff.

Speaking of otherworldly, the music world got word yesterday that the first of the big four has passed; Ace Frehley, the original, and most iconic lead guitarist from KISS.

Like any kid in the late 70s/early 80s, KISS was a thing, even if I didn’t really become familiar with the music until later. The image the band presented, particularly Ace with the smoking and sparking pickups on his custom Les Paul, was irresistible. His blues-based solos on the band’s glam-rock anthems popped, in part due to the juxtaposition of it all, along with the tone, which is instantly recognizable to most guitar players.

He of course, had personal issues (as does the band, to this day), and he spent the 80s and beyond (apart from the occasional appearance) outside the band, but continuing to perform and put out some pretty good music of his own along the way; my favorite is 1989’s Trouble Walkin’, which includes what’s probably the superior version the song “Hide Your Heart, which appeared on no less than five(!) different albums in 1988/1989.

In any case, here’s the playlist the algorithm produced based on feeding it this tune, which includes a bunch of blues-infused glam rock, as expected, plus more than a few tunes from classic rock big names apart from their primary context:

1. “Hide Your Heart” – Ace Frehley
2. “Outlaw” – RIOT
3. “Break Down The Wall” – Stone Fury
4. “I Wish It Would Rain” – Little Caesar
5. “Rock Solders” – Ace Frehley
6. “Walks Like A Woman” – Baton Rouge
7. “That Time of Year” – Vinnie Vincent Invasion
8. “Shot At My Heart” – ICON
9. “Long Cool Woman” – Vince Neil
10. “Seventeen” – Winger
11. “Powerline” – Lee Aaron
12. “Missing You” – Hagar Schon Aaronson Shreive

Still here, still sucks. Really trying to not read the news so much; just a quick survey of the morning headlines on Playbook and double-checking in the evening to confirm that the Senate votes went the same way they did the day before.

Otherwise, I’ve got a ton of household projects done, took a couple of really nice walks in the woods, cooked a few nice meals, and paid the bills Thursday morning with the final three-days-light paycheck that closed out the fiscal year. I’ve got a few cycles’ worth of savings and a bunch of available credit, but I’ll be honest, it hard after I finished off those bills, with my chronic depression and anxiety seriously tweaking after paying those bills not knowing when my next paycheck’s coming in.

Still, I’ve been here before, and once the wallowing is indulged, I’ll get over it (the dog doing her best to cheer me up is helping), and manage.

Not much else to report; I’ve watched a few things on the streaming services (Heads of State on Amazon Prime was the best kind of stupid fun), am enjoying reading my friend Amber’s new book, The Veil of Takhsha, I wrote most of a song about this guy, mostly because it’ll make my friend Alexandra laugh the next time I see her. Oh, I’ve also gotten way too invested in the saga of Francine the Broad Street Lowe’s cat.

Sure, my local theater hasn’t booked Good Boy yet (had myself looking forward to cheap movie Wednesday), but I’ll live (and maybe go raise a stink; I’ve got the time…).

So yeah, things could be better. They’ll get there, eventually, either through legislation or DSR. Conceptually, I’m still all in on the Democratic strategy; me missing a couple of checks sucks, but not as much as people who really need it losing or paying way more for health care (you know who’s got a good story on that? Graham Platner, the guy running against Susan “Concerned” Collins up in Maine); but then, that’s empathy, which certain quarters are calling a “fundamental weakness”, but you know what, fuck those guys.

Anyway…tunes. Lots of the usual kind of indie I’ve been listening to a lot lately when I’m not spinning old Zappa records:

1. “Wish I Knew You” – The Revivalists
2. “Rhiannon” – Fleetwood Mac
3. “Drive” – Incubus
4. “Stolen Love” – Josiah and the Bonnevilles
5. “Down By The Water” – The Decembrists
6. “Ghost Town” – The Specials
7. “Spanish Moon” – Little Feat
8. “Would That Not Be Nice” – Divine Fits
9. “Wake Up Dead Man” – Howlin Jackson
10. “Earthshaker” – Phantogram
11. “High Country” – Jason Scott & The High Heat
12. “Superposition” – Young The Giant
13. “I Could Drive You Crazy” – Sierra Ferrel

If you’re all reading the news at all, you know what’s going on.

To answer all messages and calls from dear friends referenced in the title of this post…I’m managing.

This one feels like it’s going to last a while, what with the devolving of most serious political discourse into memes of dubious quality and metrosexual grooming TED talks. That said, I am, for the moment, okay. The budget’s going to be tight for a bit (I am much appreciative of friends who buy me beers, and if you absolutely feel the need to help, I have a bunch of music for sale), but I have savings and an impressive spouse who’s income helps fill the current gap. It’ll suck if this keeps going for months, but it goes months, there’s a non-zero chance I’ll end up involuntarily retired anyway, and there’s this law, signed by a relevant someone after this happened the last time, that says I’ll get backpay at the end of this, but, y’know, what are laws anyway anymore?

Anyway…that’s all I’m going to say about that, because this other law almost certainly applies to me, and after some other unrelated events the other week, we’ve all received official correspondence reminding us to watch what we say. So….

Over the last few days, and probably for at least the next week or so, I’ve been catching up on projects around the house; things like yard work, little fix-it things that’ve been left alone for lack of time, rehabbing the wonky bridge on the second-hand shop Stratocaster I bought on a lark years ago and turning it into a serious spanky blues machine, and pretty much anything to keep me busy and not think too hard about this whole huge reality that I don’t have a hell of a lot of control over.

I’ve also spent a little time organizing my backlog of not-yet-recorded songs that will almost certainly become a new record, since, at the moment, I have time and the house will be mostly quiet. The Shutdown Sessions seems like a solid working title to me.

So yes, I am managing, and hope to keep doing so. All we can do is hang in there and work on the stuff we can.

I hope you’re managing too.

I woke up with a weird sense of existential dread and anxiety this morning.

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because it was Monday morning. The weekend was productive -I made a lot of progress toward meeting the deadlines for those creative projects I’m working on with other people- one’s not quite done, but I have plenty of time to get a vocal track and final mix I’m happy with before I owe it to someone. Same thing with work projects; I’m largely in a holding pattern waiting for other people do their thing so I can close a few things out. I’m hoping that bodes well for the rest of the year.

Yet this morning was a wash of anxiety and meh-ness, and I can’t nail down a definitive source.

There are memories of some weird dreams last night that could be a cause or merely a symptom, including the fairly common “I’ve got a huge paper due in hours for an English class that I didn’t know I was enrolled in. I vaguely remember the assignment being something like a literary analysis of some sort of by-the-numbers sci-fi show, something akin to “The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon” from the Murderbot books, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, but then neither does much of my subconscious. But the feelings are real, they just tend to express themselves in bizarre fashion sometimes.

The other image sticking with me from last night’s brain dump is a theoretical installment of the Fast and Furious film series with a vampire antagonist, possibly played by Parker Posey a-la Blade: Trinity. In this half-remembered fiction, Toretto got turned, and spent a good bit of the film trying to turn everyone else, because “family.”

Even through the fog of anxiety, I’ll be honest, that sounds absolutely awesome.

On one level, after writing in a space for nearly a quarter-century, you feel like you’re running out of things to say.

On another level, there’s so much happening in the world that things to write about come spewing forth from the media fire hose more quickly than one can form positions on them.

On yet another level, it’s better for my mental health to avoid thinking (which could lead to writing) about most of those myriad things too deeply, because this is, at least for the near future, the worst possible timeline.

And…at the level down below even the weeds, I’m reasonably certain I’m mostly just screaming into the void (because the abyss is for gazing, after all) anyway.

So what does all this mean? I’m not sure. I know I’m writing less in this space and others, and that’s kind of by design, because, well, see above. And, as the algorithm and Peter Thiel are taking it all in anyway to build ever-more-detailed profiles on us all for no doubt nefarious purposes (or, just targeted marketing, which is pretty much the same thing), getting too specific or personal is just doing a favor for the AI overlords.

That said, I had a pretty nice time the other weekend making music and connecting with friends, sharing feelings both superficial and refreshingly deep. It was fun, and exhausting, and I’m glad to have a bit of a break for the next little while. I’ve got a few personal creative projects and collaborations that need addressing, some nature to go get momentarily lost in, and a whole big stack of escapist literature and other media to consume to get away from all this other stuff, which has an unpleasant habit of worming it’s way into my real life enough without my going and seeking it out beyond basic awareness and self-interest.

I’ll be all over the place (well, all over the Hyatt) at Dragoncon again this year as part of the filk track, doing both the solo thing and sitting in on bass with the Humdingers. It’s always a good time, and after the year I, and so many of the rest of us are having, I’m hoping it’ll be a welcome respite, even if I’m going to be a pretty busy musician this time around.

As the schedule stands now (and be aware, that until something is *actually happening*, the schedule is to be considered tentative!), here’s all the events I’ll be doing:

• “What Is Filk?/Meet & Greet” – Thursday, 7pm, Hyatt Hanover F/G
• “Geeky Sea Shanties” – Thursday, 8:30pm, Hyatt Hanover C/E
• “Filk & Cookies/Open Filk” – Friday, 10am, Hyatt Hanover F/G
• “Chuck Parker” – Friday, 2:30pm, Hyatt Hanover F/G
• “Blibbering Humdingers” – Friday, 5:30pm, Hyatt Concourse
• “Blibbering Humdingers” – Friday, 8:30pm, Hyatt Hanover F/G
• “Instafilk”- Saturday, 2:30, Hyatt Hanover F/G
• “Group Sing: Star Wars” – Saturday, 7pm, Hyatt International North
• “Blibbering Humdingers” – Sunday, 7pm, Hyatt Hanover F/G

I am really looking forward to spending time, making music, and probably raising a pint with friends old and new, and of course, doing my best to be entertaining for those who come to enjoy our humble track programming.

So I was largely off the grid on Tuesday; spending way too much time in meetings during the day, and an allergy-aggravated headache that might well be a migraine creeping in, so I dragged myself home and mostly lie in the dark with my eyes covered until bedtime, which came earlier than usual.

So I all-but-missed the news that Ozzy Osbourne passed, not a month after the final Black Sabbath performance, which by all accounts was amazing.

Equal parts pioneer, badass, jester, mentor, and Prince of F**king Darkness, there’s no denying he was one of the most significant personalities in music, and he’ll be missed.

Being of the age that I am, I first encountered the man in the early-80s “Satanic Panic” era, through stories of his excesses: The urban legend about biting the head off of a bat and the whole Alamo business, which, in my fuzzy middle-aged memories will always be intertwined, and mostly BS stories about back-masking and driving kids toward inappropriate behavior. Only later did I actually discover the music, through the influence of more worldly acquaintances: “War Pigs,” “Iron Man,” “Crazy Train,” “Bark At The Moon.” Iconic stuff, some which blew my teenage, budding musician mind.

But it’s not any of those tunes that yanked me in. It was the oft-dismissed “Shot in the Dark” off of the generally looked down-upon record “The Ultimate Sin” (largely due to behind-the-scenes inter-band drama and authorship issues). For my early-teen hair-metal loving self, it’s heavy rotation on MTV was largely to blame, but to this day, I’ll go to bat for it, as it is a more-than-solid pop-influenced heavy rock tune; as they kids say, it’s a “banger” that “slaps,” and I’ll still dial it up from time to time.

So rest in peace, Ozzy. Go have a drink with Randy and high-five Lemmy and Ronnie for me.

Apart from that, I was kind of off the grid the rest of the week as well, logging fifty or so miles on the trail in 100° weather, even more meetings, and some less-than-pleasant other things. But, I got through it, and am aiming for a quiet weekend.

Apart from Ozzy, the algorithm was kind of eclectic in it’s providence this week, and presented below without comment:

1. “Let’s Bounce” – Supersuckers
2. “Hammerdown” – Jeff Shields
3. “The Hair Song” – Black Mountain
4. “Drivin’ My Life Away” – Eddie Rabbit
5. “idk” – Allison Eide
6. “Punkrocker” – Teddybears, Iggy PoP
7. “I Want Candy” – Bow Wow Wow
8. “Friday I’m In Love” – The Cure
9. “Better Deal Blues” – Daniel Donato
10. “Larger Than Life” – Backstreet Boys
11. “One Headlight” – The Wallflowers
12. “I Can’t Wait” – Nu Shooz
13. “Watch Me Go” – Lord Huron
14. “Rich Girl” – Daryl Hall & John Oates

I worked three days this week. Those days were…productive. Lots back-end database work to support requirements tracking in the new fiscal year, and a seemingly never-ending stream of paperwork. I’m kind of done with it, which is good, because it’s Friday afternoon.

Between traveling back from WSNC, and taking off Wednesday for a doc appointment that got canceled at the last minute, I did get a couple of days’ break from the grind, which included a nice date night with my lovely spouse to see James Gunn’s Superman, (which is totally worth your time; joyous, wholesome, and wacky comic-book goodness, with plenty of deep-cut character cameos and of course, Krypto the Super-dog) on Tuesday evening, and taking advantage of that postponed appointment to make a day trip out to the coast to hit three more State Parks, including what is perhaps my favorite, False Cape State Park, on periphery of the Virginia Beach, and is not actually accessible by public roads; visitors have to hike or bike in a few miles (primarily through Back Bay National Wildlife Refuge) to get to the park. It is, however, totally worth the effort, being some of the last undeveloped natural space on Atlantic coast. There’s something special about putting five or six miles under the mountain bike, then hiking in over the dunes to find oneself on a beach completely untouched by civilization, and being the only human for miles:

For me, that’s thirty-six of forty parks down; one more camping trip to the deep southwest corner of the state (which I’d love to do in early fall if the world allows) and I’ll have finished of Trail Quest, which has been a really cool project to take on over the last two years or so.

I’ve got nothing of any particular note on the agenda this weekend apart from the usual responsibilities. Pretty sure I’m just going to take it easy and enjoy the silence for once.

Anyway, tunes. Tons of 80s/90s alternative and adjacent:

1. “Hawthorne” – thatdog.
2. “Radiation Vibe” – Fountains of Wayne
3. “God Is A Bullet” – Concrete Blonde
4. “Raspberry Beret” – Prince
5. “Blood and Roses” – The Smithereens
6. “I Will Dare” – The Replacements
7. “Gepetto”- Belly
8. “Train in Vain (Stand By Me) – The Clash
9. “Tenderness” – General Public
10. “I Go Crazy” – Flesh For Lulu
11. “Love Is The Law” – The Suburbs
12. “Switchin’ to Glide” – The Kings

As one expects, ConGregate was a very nice experience. Going in, I was, as is ridiculously common in the current age, extra stressed and anxious for all kinds of reasons that any regular reader here (assuming there are any) can surely identify. But, since I’m somewhat of a professional at this, I put on the mask and faked it, and by the end of things, I was mostly making it.

One potential stressor I had going in was the fact that we took the dog with us (we’re going to be gone for a bit a few times in the next little while, and figured we’d try an experiment at this smaller event in a pet-friendly hotel). I was worried she’d be overstimulated, but she was almost completely okay the whole time; holding court in a corner of the conference space where she could observe everything, and accepting gracious pets and attention from the assembled throng. She was very popular; I’m pretty sure James and Tera are going to put her on staff next year.

But, we survived. My shows and panels went well, and I sold a whole bunch of stuff (I only need about 87 more weekends like this per year and I can quit the day job). Of course, we also bought a bunch of stuff. Apart from our usual books and a trinket or three, I left the hotel Monday morning carrying an extra guitar.

One of my fellow performers who’s had some medical issues over the last few years and can’t really sing anymore, brought a couple of instruments with him in the interest of finding them new homes in the community before branching out further. A beautiful 2009 Martin DC-1E with a very attractive asking price spoke to me, and now I own the serious, grown-up, aspirational heirloom instrument so many musicians pine for, with the bonus of having a nice, personally significant history. I promised to do my best to keep her making music in our circles for years and years to come, and I’m going to do just that.

I mean, I still agonized over the whole transaction, because that’s how I roll, but all told, I’m glad I settled on going through with it.

I’m back to the usual work-a-day grind for a bit now, though there’s one last bit of promo. Though I did a bit of a soft mention a week or so back, as of Tuesday morning, I’m “officially official” for Dragoncon, as they’ve added me to the performers page on the web site:

So that’s out there; and in spite of the life going on around me right now, it’s an honor to be part of something this big once again, and I’m looking forward to a fun Labor Day weekend in Atlanta.