On the main, this entire week’s just kind of blurred by; work day full of meetings and PowerPoint slides, headlines full of doom, gloom, and gridlock, brisk walks in the woods to clear the head, clean-the-cabinets sort of dinners, and watching a program or two on the TV before going to bed.

Y’know, the usual.

A couple of reasonable high points, though. The annual work appraisal cycle wrapped up, and my meeting with the boss went well; it’s nice to have one’s efforts rewarded. A significant salary increase (edging toward 10% when one works in the alchemy of locality adjustments) and a pretty nice cash bonus that’ll certainly help with the long-overdue refresh of the kitchen we’ve been contemplating. Plus, y’know, a nice pat on the back and further instructions of “keep on doing what you do!”

Though I sometimes feel like a simple cog in a huge machine, which, I guess I am, it feels good to have someone tell you you’re doing a good job and that you’re appreciated.

Elsewhere, I got a note from my insurance guy, who did his regular review on my files and identified an opportunity to save like 40% annually on car insurance. There are currently four drivers on my policy, two of ’em under 25, so my bill is not insignificant. Needless to say, I jumped on that s**t.

So, assuming nothing else breaks and the family doesn’t find new and interesting ways to increase expenses, thanks to these developments and a few others I lined up over the past few months, I should enter this third year of this pandemic with improved cash flow, and I feel reasonably okay about the books around these parts, which is cool, at least until I find a way to twist circumstances into new and interesting stressors; which, as we all know, is my superpower.

Ideally looking at a quiet, uneventful long weekend, since the usual MLK weekend Marscon escape got postponed. I think I’m just gonna chill; I rather deserve it, and…really…just look out the door at all those infection vectors.

As far as what “Discover Weekly” spit out this week on Spotify, a nice mix with a little prog, a little alt-country, a touch of 80s/90s alternative, a chunk of indie and wrapping up with what’s possibly the most funkified John Prine song in the universe:

1. “Losing True” – The Roches
2. “Life Is A Carnival” – The Band
3. “Saturn We Miss You” – Trip The Witch, John Anderson
4. “The Sun Hasn’t Left” – Modest Mouse
5. “Stand For Myself” – Yola
6. “Motorcycle” – Liz Cooper
7. “Wide Open Spaces” – Soccer Mommy
8. “Crutch” – Band of Horses
9. “Domino” – Shovels & Rope
10. “What Do All The People Know?” – THe Monroes
11. “Dear Prudence” – Siouxie and the Banshees
12. “So It Goes” – Nick Lowe
13. “Saddle In The Rain” – John Prine

this image is what I need, not how I’m feeling

For the first week back to the grind after a holiday break that wasn’t particularly awesome, thanks to all kinds of external factors, it was, at best, not ideal, and otherwise, kind of a shit show.

Work, frankly, sucked, mostly because a few external entities made some bizarre, poorly-researched decisions and directives while most people were off celebrating the new year that have us all scrambling to either head off or (more likely) adjust to without any particular warning. That, and the fact that I worked my ass off to get things submitted that needed to be submitted ahead of deadlines before the holidays just ended up making more work for me because processes are so broken that nobody seems to have any clue what to do with something that doesn’t come in at the 11th hour…

Ugh.

We’ve got some good things in the pipeline, I think (that meeting was the high point of the week), though we’ll see whether we’re actually able to implement them in such a dysfunctional environment.

So, yeah.

I did get paid, and as result of that, paid off a big bill, which I guess is something. Likewise, my boss’s submitted evaluation of my work year said some really nice things about my being able to rescue productivity from the usual morass of wasted time, though I have yet to see how that’s going to affect my salary for the new year, as we haven’t managed to find time to have that meeting, assuming TPTB have actually released the results yet.

Ugh, once again.

For this weekend, we’ve got KT’s memorial service, which, while certainly sad, should provide a bit of peace, at least for me. I miss my friend terribly, and always will, celebrating her life is something well worth doing.

Otherwise? Honestly I haven’t really considered much otherwise; there’s another day there; I’ll probably just do laundry and hope it keeps the snow off.

Here’s a playlist. Looks an awful lot like an average hour at wnrn, which, y’know, ain’t so bad:

1. “Stay in the Car” – Bachelor, Jay Som, Palehound
2. “Heading West” – Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3. “Athena” – Tristen
4. “Keep It Dark” – Genesis
5. “The Hardest Cut” – Spoon
6. “Screenwriters Blues” – Soul Coughing
7. “Laminated Cat” – Loose Fur
8. “Year of the Spider” – Shannon & The Clams
9. “Brando” – Lucy Dacus
10. “Ivory Tower – Outake” – CSN&Y
11. “Hard on Everyone” – Kathleen Edwards
12. “I’m Writing a Novel”- Father John Misty
13. “Yin and Yang (The Flowerpot Man)” – Love and Rockets
14. “Cloud Nein” – Man Man
15. “San Diego Zoo” – The 6ths
16. “Nothing Else Matters”- Phoebe Bridgers

Unlike my senator and fellow Replacements fan Tim Kaine, the snow here in VA had rather little impact for me.

Sure, my office location was technically closed Monday and Tuesday, though since telework means snow days really aren’t a thing anymore, I just worked through it from my desk at home, barely noticing a difference. Roads were safe enough for job-holding kids to get to work (though one’s place of business closed a bit early on Monday) without issue, though much of that has to with our being south of the city; the north (including the I-95 corridor between us and DC) got much more accumulation.

The worst thing I’m dealing with is a little extra sinus congestion I’m blaming primarily on spending three hours in the damp woods with it’s interesting mold, fungus, and pollen on Saturday morning, and putting up with folks waiting until the last minute to do things that I wrapped my part of before the holidays in hope of avoiding such inconveniences. Ugh.

Oh, and given increasing Omicron numbers, Marscon, my beloved home convention normally scheduled for MLK weekend, made the call, in concert with the venue, to postpone the event until March, which I’m personally very okay with. I will miss seeing my friends and handful of fans (as I was booked as an entertainer twice over this year, as me and as a Humdinger) in a couple of weeks, but we’d had a bunch of big cancellations, and things just aren’t looking good. Hopefully things will be looking better in a few months…

…I say hopefully, because one simply can’t count on a certain percentage of people to not do the stupid irresponsible thing.

The New Year’s celebration, was, for me, pretty much non-existent. On December 31, the most exciting thing I did was buy tires and manage stress. I air-fried some brussells sprouts and broccoli, and went to bed before 9pm. So, so exciting.

For New Years’ Day, I did the thing I try to do every year and establish a tradition; “First Day Hikes” in Virginia State Parks. It’s a nice thing, actually; they waive parking fees on January 1st, and give you a nice sticker and stuff. I woke early, packed up a few things (including rain gear, per the forecast), and headed down the road to Pocahontas, picked the longest black diamond trail I could find, and started walking. Three hours, one stream fording, and a few overland orienteering exercises later, I’d hiked ten and a half miles, stripped off a few layers because the sun came out, and headed out of the park about the time the rest of the state showed up to crowd the picnic pavilions.

The rest of the weekend I did laundry, and sat with the cat and watched a couple of things on TV, and kept an eye on the moving target a certain January gig is possibly becoming. “Don’t Look Up” on Netflix is pretty entertaining, all-told, even if it’s a little too accurate in terms of capturing human behavior.

And now, it’s time to go back to work, and see if the dreaded “s” word prediction actually comes true.

As per usual, I’m closing the year out by breaking down my experience into quantifiable elements, because I tend to count things, and it feeds my OCD tendencies. Also, as crappy as the year might feel overall, looking at things from a numbers perspective helps to highlight things that weren’t necessarily so objectively awful, which is definitely the kind of thing I need to see sometimes.

For example, I kicked all kinds of ass in terms of my cycling habit, and made some decent progress with my musical side gig, in terms of sales and performances, especially given current conditions, and somehow managed to become a published poet as well.

That said, I can’t help but notice I’m pointing out a lot of objectively not cool things this year. I’ve lost friends, missed out on potential cool experiences, and cultivated all kinds of frustration and depression because of said conditions, especially the way a relatively small percentage of society continues to refuse to act with basic responsibility and exercise a base level of empathy for their fellow humans.

So yeah – 2021 has definitely been a mixed bag:

• 0: hours I’ve spent in an actual office this year – working from home, all the time.
• 2578: miles spent on road and trail, biking and hiking
• 55: miles in this year’s longest single-session bike ride
• 4: total number of rides over 50 miles
• 49.6: average bike/hike miles per week across the year
• 74: books read this year
• 4: total vaccinations injected into this body
• 1: number of places (besides the vaccination center itself) that have asked to see my COVID-19 vaccination card)
• 13: musical performances in front of actual, live people, including open mics
• 1: open mic performances where the only audience member was the bartender
• 1: number of print publications I’ve had work appear in
• 15: songs written
• 1: records I released as me this year
• 3: records (including mine) on which I appeared
• 38: individual music sales (online and physical)
• 1: number of times my music streams revenue hit the $10 threshold to actually disburse funds to me
• 2: conventions actually attended in person this year
• 6: appearances on podcasts/online video for interviews/performances
• 311: beer check-ins according to untappd
• -30: total difference in pounds of body weight over the last 365 days
• 0: Pegasus award nominations/wins (it wasn’t our year)
• 5: facemasks I currently cycle through
• 1: facemasks lost this year
• 2: trips to the drive-in (only place I feel comfortable going out to the movies)
• 3: trips out of state
• 2: number of elections voted in
• 1: political candidate donations
• 0: number of my candidates who actually won
• 98: the percentile I fall into on spotify in terms of users who listen to Frank Zappa
• too many: people I know who contracted COVID
• a small percentage, but still too many: people I know who’ve died of it
• ∞ : times I’ve silently cursed non-masked idiots in public (or at least feels that way)
• ∞ : times I’ve chosen the longer line at the store to avoid unmasked/improperly masked idiots
• 3: years we’ll have been dealing with this whole pandemic business when the calendar changes
• forever: how long it feels like we’ll be dealing with this because of those people I mention two and three lines above this one

It’s kind of hard to feel some sort of optimism right now, to be perfectly honest, but I’m going to try. Hopefully the coming year will be a little better. Long-term historical patterns suggest the current state won’t hold, and will eventually swing the other way; I just have to hope we’re here long enough for the pendulum to move.

Happy New Year.

Yep, Amy and Emily singing Joni captures holiday depression pretty damned well.

Gonna be totally honest, I’m not at all feeling the holiday season this year. We’re damned near into the third year of this pandemic, mostly because selfish assholes gonna asshole, I lost a dear, dear friend a week ago whose passing I’m still coming to terms with, on top of the usual seasonal depression that always hits this time of year, what with the mourning of things long past, including a bunch of things that never really existed in the first place, in spite of what societal norms this time of year tell me.

Plus, I live with someone working retail and there’s a nasty covid-negative respiratory thing getting passed around.

Given all that, apart from sharing a few gifts over the course of the last week, we’re pretty much opting out of the whole thing this year. With work being busy right up to the end, and generally feeling the way we all are, we didn’t even put up a tree. For Saturday, we’re probably going to sit around, eat cheese, drink beer, and watch a couple of movies. That’s enough, and honestly probably the most my spoon reserve can manage.

But, as it’s the end of the week, I have this habit of posting some music that came out of the computer. This week, it’s not exactly random; KT’s husband Kevin asked me to help him with the music for the memorial service we’ll do after the holidays, so I went through all the playlists she made and songs she liked on the streaming services to come up with a list to start paring down. Today, I’m going to just post a bit of that list; a bunch of songs that she liked, that, for one reason or another, kinda feel like her. So here it is:

1. Rivers and Roads – The Head and the Heart
2. Kacey Musgraves – Follow Your Arrow
3. Time and Time Again – Counting Crows
4. Yours – Ella Henderson
5. The Best You Had – Nina Nesbitt
6. Sit Still, Look Pretty – Daya
7. Best Day of My Life – American Authors
8. Your Side of the Bed – Loote
9. Exes & Ohs – Elle King
10. Bury Me Face Down – grandson
11. Colorblind – Counting Crows
12. Love it If We Made It – The 1975
13. Shout Out to My Ex – Little Mix
14. I See Fire – Ed Sheeran
15. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch
16. The Ballad of Miss Lily – David Ford

As it’s the day, I wish all of you a happy holiday, whichever traditions you celebrate, or don’t – may whatever you do bring you a little peace.

Yesterday morning, not long after my usual end-of-week song list post celebrating the beginning of my holiday break, we learned that our dear friend, KT Hicks, passed away after more than a year of struggling to overcome the aftereffects of a stroke.

She and her family have been part of our lives for what seems like forever, since our mutual friend Jonah Knight suggested she maybe invite my lovely spouse and me to a holiday house concert he was playing at her place oh so many years ago. We became fast friends that day, and over the years our families became intermingled and inseparable, spending special occasions, holidays, gaming sessions, and adventures together, simply enjoying each other’s company. Her daughter and my kids effectively grew up together; they’re family – no other way to describe it.

She was a tremendous wit, a caring soul, a talented writer, and a dear, dear friend.

Once we got the news on Friday morning, I quickly wrapped up some things at home and the eldest and I hopped in the car to Chesapeake to be with her grieving husband and child, both of whom are just as special to us. There really wasn’t any question that we wouldn’t. I think our presence helped a bit; both for them and for us.

That said, I spent so much of the day yesterday being strong for others, that I kind of compartmentalized my grief and it all kind of came out a few hours ago while I was cleaning the living room; big, ugly, blubbering crying – I’d worried about my friend for more than a year, unable to visit her at the care facility due to pandemic conditions, and now? I’ll never see her again. The realization hit me like a ton of some heavy noun I can’t come up with right now.

No more shared laughs, drinks, or stories. I’ll never read another new book she’s written (or have the honor of being a beta reader/copy editor for her again), and I’ll never again see her take delight in a clever retort or a live musical performance. My life, so many lives, will be all the poorer for her no longer being a part of them.

So, today’s my last day of work in 2021. The last couple of weeks have been busy with lining everything up for a two week break, but yesterday afternoon I successfully pushed the last bit of virtual paper off my virtual desk that needed pushed, and I’m looking forward to today largely being an exercise organizing the remaining bits and carefully composing my out-of-office email responder.

As for what’s on my schedule for the next couple of weeks? Honestly, not a hell of a lot. As usual, I’m going to do my best to unplug, spend time time some people I am fond of, eat and drink a little too much, relax with some interesting media, maybe make a little music and try to put the bureaucratic stuff what I does for money out of my mind for a little bit.

We’ll see how that goes.

Related to the second-to-last item on that list, I got a bit of an early start on things last night, as I shook off a little dust and played the open mic over at Art & Coffee, both solo and with my eldest kid, who did one song with me, and then belted her way through a tune from Hamilton that brought the house down. Also, I didn’t completely suck, and got to see a few folks (including my friend Schickie who runs the thing) I haven’t seen in a while, as I haven’t been to this one since late summer. It was fun.

As for what this space’ll look like over the next couple of weeks? I don’t know, really. I know I sort of have a couple of year-end wrap up things I usually do, and probably will, but since I spend at least eight hours a day staring at a computer screen, when I’m off, I do my best to spend time *not* doing that. Also, at least for the near term, the weather’s on track to be unseasonably beautiful in these parts (seriously, it broke 70° yesterday, and looks to do the same today), so I’m going to try to get out on the trails a bit, and unlike earlier this week, not nearly collide with a startled great blue heron (seriously).

So yeah; happy holidays and all that, whichever of them you celebrate. See you on the other side.

…but not before tossing out the usual Friday system-generated playlist. Surprisingly prog rock this week; featuring multiple 10+ minute epic symphonies created by the Yes-adjacent. Not sure why; as I’ve largely been listening to Japanese Breakfast and Lake Street Dive so you’d expect breathy female-fronted bluesey retro pop, but…who knows what strangeness drives the Deities of Data*:

1. “American Music” – Violent Femmes
2. “Mrs. Robinson” – The Lemonheads
3. “North Star” – Robert Fripp
4. “Gone, Gone, Gone” – The Everly Brothers
5. “Quadrant 4” – Billy Cobham
6. “Mr. Skin” – Spirit
7. “Brother of Mine” – Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe
8. “The Big Medley…(live)” – Dream Theater
9. “La Villa Strangiato” – Steve Morse, Mike Portnoy, Billy Sheehan, James Murphy
10. “Sometime World” – Wishbone Ash
11. “Devil’s Door” – Nektar
12. “Is This The Life?” – Cardiacs
13. “Shutout” – The Walker Brothers

__________________

*-…which is totally the name of the boots’n’pants electronica band I’m starting one of these years…

Spoony.

This week; just kind of flew on by, in part because I’ve been so darned busy working to put as many entries on the ‘to-do’ list to bed before the end of the work year as possible while the pool of available resources to answer my questions drops like a steeply dropping graph of people burning through use-or-lose leave at the end of the calendar year.

Still, I got a ton of stuff done, even if each unit of “stuff” was replaced by one-point-something units of new stuff, but at least those are due later. Such is the life of the de-facto deputy head of the program management center in a mid-sized public sector organization.

And that’s really what I’m coming to understand my job to be; whenever somebody needs to talk to my boss, they call me because they know they’re not going get hold of him because he’s always triple-booked, and they know I can probably find their answer anyway.

It could also be that several people told me straight off they consider me “second in command” or something like it over the last couple of weeks.

At least that likely means my job is secure, and the boss has indicated that my efforts will be remembered come evaluation time (which has actually passed now, and I’m waiting for the paperwork to catch up to see if that is indeed the case).

Yeah.

Otherwise, there hasn’t been a heck of a lot happening. I’m hiding shipped-in Christmas presents, taking brisk walks in the park (twice this week followed by stops at a watering hole for an interesting seasonal brew or two) and trying to get myself invested in this new Cory Doctorow book, and not quite getting the results I’m hoping for.

That, and trying to decide if I like these bluetooth earpod things I got a deal on the other weekend. They work okay, I guess, when they decide to stay in the ears like they’re supposed to. The sound quality is decent enough, though if I want some real fidelity and dynamic range, my big Tascam cans are just there on the shelf to my right.

In fact, I’m listening to this week’s algorithmically-generated playlist of things Spotify thinks I would like on them right now. It’s a lot of 80s and 90s “alternative rock” or whatever we called it then this week. I expect that next week will be weirder, as I’ve been choosing to listen to a bunch of Japanese Breakfast (discovering the concept of the “royal road chord progression” in the process) and Punch Brothers. Whatever the case, I’m still digging this week’s jams, even Ace covering Cream there at #8, and of course, Zappa and crew there at the end, because it’s me:

1. “Dim” – Dada
2. “Gloria” – U2
3. “Swingin'” – Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
4. “Down” – Son Volt
5. “Blues from a Gun” – THe Jesus and Mary Chain
6. “Hoover Dam” – Sugar
7. “Makes No Sense at All” – Hüsker Dü
8. “White Room” – Ace Frehley
9. “Sail On Sail Away” – Moxy
10. “Never Say Never” – Romeo Void
11. “Voyager” – Gamma
12. “Oz is Everything” – Oysterhead
13. “Directly From My Heart To You” – The Mothers of invention