warning: musician living in his head content on deck:

In the midst of all the other stuff going on (college kid home, dance dad duty, new Letterkenny…), I think I have almost all the recording done for the album, and most of the mixing, after getting the eldest to knock out some vocals, taking a quick trip out to Suffolk to do some
“location recording” (needed my buddy D.J. to play a couple of bass tracks on stuff we’d worked together on before, and as much as he’ll deny it, he’s a better pure bassist than I am), and spending a few quality hours with the microphone, the mandolin, and the soprano and concert ukes on Monday afternoon.

I have one more idea I’m going to try and knock out quickly on Tuesday evening (as I’ve got Open Mic on Wednesday), finish the mix, finalize the track order (and update the cover graphics to reflect such), and get “World’s Okayest…” out for duplication by the end of this week, which gives me, ideally, five weeks to get a sample for testing/evaluation and order my initial* stock to have on hand for Atomacon.

I’m really getting to the point where I want and need to get this done (my wife tells me that I’m dangerously adjacent to “keep adding and changing things to the point that I’ll never finish so I won’t have the anxiety of putting this out there” territory). I know it won’t entirely live up to my impossible standards; it’s been a huge learning experience, doing the whole thing basically by myself (other than picking the brains of many of my more experienced peers), both to keep this endeavor affordable, as well as to develop the skills to do it better next time**.

Also, a friend dangled an interesting proposition in front of me and a bunch of other folks recently; he’s currently working on a very ambitious multimedia project and wants us to contribute to it. The stuff I’ve heard so far is intriguing and exciting, and I’m really looking forward to working on it, though I need to clear this one off the decks first, because I know my limitations and all the other life stuff on my agenda, and I just don’t have the time or the spoons to work both of these projects concurrently.

All that said, I really am way more excited than anxious about getting my work out there – everyone else tells me routinely “it’s about time”, because my creative friends/musical family are all wonderful, supportive, and encouraging. That said, even though I’ve been putting these songs out in front of audiences, in some cases for years, making a “permanent” record (ha, puns!) of my creative output is still a bit intimidating.

But yeah, it’s almost real. And that’s cool.

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* – This, is, of course, somewhat optimistic of me, because it’s quite possible I will sell no more than a handful of these things and be stuck with leftovers for years…

** – Again, optimistic that this will be successful or rewarding enough that another crack at this sort of thing makes any sense at all***.

*** – This is where sense and self confidence tell me to stop thinking like that and just be excited about the energy and support I’m getting, and stop sabotaging myself before I really even get started.

As it is every week, it’s been a week. I’ve actually gotten a ton done at work, and I’ve speedwalked/hiked the equivalent of three 5k races, but I’ve gotten next to nothing done on the record. Mixed bag, that.

Hoping to change that this weekend, however; I’m taking the recording rig on the road at some point to get my friend DJ to drop some bass on a track or two. After that, I’ll push some more sliders around, and ideally throw some more instruments on a couple of tunes, and try and bring an end to this soon, because I need enough time to get the CDs pressed before Atomacon.

Otherwise, no gig this weekend, though I’ve got Castleburg Open Mic on the docket for Wednesdasy, and my friend Dirty Metal Lefty is hosting another one next Friday, so I might get out and play twice. Who knows.

One more thing, while I was hiking the park Thursday, I met this guy:

Less than three inches across, just making his way across the trail. I almost stepped on him, but I didn’t.

Finally, playlist – some decent 80s stuff, some friends, and some pre-me Humdingers!

1. “Give Me What I Want” – The Donnas
2. “Summer of ’69” – Bryan Adams
3. “Friend of Mine” – Liz Phair
4. “Your Mama Don’t Dance” – Poison
5. “Summerboy” – Lady Gaga
6. “Golden Slumbers” – The Beatles
7. “The Button” – Mikey Mason
8. “Fear of Bliss” – Alanis Morissette
9. “Nothing Like The Real Thing” – The Badlees
10. “I Remember Her” – Ingrid Michaelson
11. “The Sisters” – Valentine Wolfe
12. “Love Song For Sirius Black” – The Blibbering Humdingers

Yes, I missed the usual Friday post this past week, but, really, I don’t owe you anything, do it?

Last week was pretty typical, all told. I spent a tremendous amount of time putting out other people’s fires at work, and I went out to see the second-to-last Kickers match of the season with my friend Ted on Wednesday night, which was quite a good time, even if the team didn’t exactly set the world on fire.

I missed the post on Friday, because I was busy Thursday night paying bills, doing a little shopping, and packing up gear, because I was off on Friday, and spent most of the time in the Humdingermobile driving up to the Eastern Shore of MD for the Chestertown HP Fest, where we played a bunch of fun shows, including a very seat-of-the-pants-but-very-cool combined set with our good friends Hawthorn and Holly with all of us up on stage together for over an hour. I got to play cajon as well as bass; it was neat. Here’s a shot from Friday night’s set:

Anyway, the band’s been doing Chestertown for years, and I try to tag along as often as I can (it tends to line up with dance dad duty some years), and it’s a really great event in a very pretty town, where all the local businesses get into the act, and basically turn Main Street into Diagon Alley for a couple of days. I also got to see a bunch of friends I don’t get to see all that often, which was quite welcome. Also, I got some good, constructive feedback on the in-process CD from Scott and Kirsten, as we listened to it on the way north on Friday; several of my musical friends have given me useful advice, and I think the record is going to be all the better for it, even if it’s never going to live up to my ambitions; It’s a total learning experience; I know it’s going to make me cringe two years from now, but I’m confident it’s going to represent the best I can do *right now*, which is really what’s important.

Mostly just pushing through the noise this week, getting some exercise in and hopefully getting some more work done on the record. I’m getting close to the point where I have to finish it to make sure I have discs in hand in time for Atomacon.

Anyway, here’s to wishing everyone a nice fall, since it finally seems to have started to settle upon us after a couple of 100° days last week. It’s time for pumpkin spice, fresh apples (got some nice ones Sunday at the market), and comfy sweaters, planet, let’s get on that.

Still fighting this stupid flu bug/cold. Ugh. Every time I think I’m coming around the back side of it, my head slams shut again. As a result, this week’s sort of just floated by, a life of knocking out documents, sleeping, and popping figurative popcorn while watching political theater in the information age.

As I said earlier, I honestly have no idea how this is all going to turn out, though it feels like it just keeps getting weirder, and moving faster. It’s history, folks.

Nothing on tap for the weekend, really. Within the limits of my energy and health, I’m going to try to get as much work done on the record as I can. I really need to have this thing finished soon, for better or worse.

Otherwise, here’s a bunch of other people’s records. Surprisingly nice mix; as I’ve said before, Spotify is learning my tastes…finally.

1. “History Lesson Part 2” – The Minutemen
2. “Sad Sweetheart of the Rodeo” – Harvey Danger
3. “If You Were Here” – Thompson Twins
4. “Girls With Guns” – Tommy Shaw
5. “Me and The Boys” – NRBQ
6. “Will The Wolf Survive?” – Los Lobos
7. “Lovers In A Dangerous Time” – Bruce Cockburn
8. “I Know What Boys Like” – The Waitresses
9. “Papa Was A Rodeo” – The Magnetic Fields
10. “Goodbye To You” – Scandal
11. “All My Ghosts” – Frank Black & The Catholics
12. “Bloc Bloc Bloc” – Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

So, Wednesday was a big deal politically in a couple of places.

Big news in Britain as their Supreme Court tells Johnson his suspension of Parliament isn’t going to happen, and Brexit looks on the way to being rebaselined again, almost as many times as the “modernization” project I’m part of around these parts. I’m not as informed on UK politics as some of my friends are, so I won’t really dig deeply here, but I’m keeping my eyes on things over there. I don’t expect Boris is going to be PM very long.

Then, this whistleblower thing on my side of the Atlantic, which keeps getting more complicated. I’ve been following it, as you say, with interest. Mid-day Wednesday I noticed my congressman came out publicly in favor of impeachment proceedings regarding the alleged quid pro quo aid-for-political-dirt business between Trump and the President of Ukraine; this a few hours after the Op Ed in the WaPo Wednesday morning where several freshmen congresspersons from more conservative districts (including Rep. Spanberger one district over) with experience in public service in defense and intelligence; the “Anti-Squad” if you will, calling for the same, and a few before Speaker Pelosi made the announcement that formal impeachment proceedings will be opened.

45, of course, responded with the usual decorum, though with the supposed impending release of the transcript of the Ukraine call (I’m honestly hoping for a recording as well), and his basically admitting to withholding the funding to Ukraine before the call in a public forum, this alleged infraction (of however many before) might actually have some teeth.

As for what it means in the scheme of things? I honestly don’t know. The last time we went through this, back in 1998, with Clinton, for a different sort of thing entirely, it ended up accomplishing not much at all apart from inserting “what the definition of ‘is’ is” into the national lexicon. The activity here has a bit more in common with Nixon and Watergate shortly before I was born (which never got to actual voting on Articles of Impeachment before his resignation), what with it having to do with re-election concerns and digging up dirt on opponents. Like I said, this one feels like it’s got some teeth, or at least I want to believe it does.

That said, 2019 is not 1974. The world of US Politics is a lot more fragmented, coarse, and partisan, and, sad to say, less noble and dedicated to the greater ideals of public service. If the House does draw up and vote on Articles, it’s entirely possible the Republican-led Senate might just sit on them (as Sen. McConnell did with the Garland nomination in the last year of the Obama presidency), or, as has been the case with pretty much every other shady grift or questionable activity the administration has engaged in thus far (of which there are many), double-down on the assertion that there was no wrongdoing.

I’m not going to speculate just yet, of course. There’s a lot happening and a lot of moving parts out there, and unlike in the 1970s (or even the late 90s), information flows much faster, from more sources, than ever before. This post will probably be outdated by the time it actually gets published.

update later: Oh yeah…the “transcript”(not a transcript) was pretty batshit, as was the RNC sending their internal talking points/response out to House Democrats, then trying to recall the email….it’s a really weird day.

Whatever’s going to happen though, this is history we’re watching.

It is, as they say, the political season. Sure, it’s about six months until the first primary votes get cast/caucused, but, being who I am and having the interests I do, I’ve been paying lots of attention, consuming news and analysis, reading books written by a few of the more interesting democratic candidates, and tossing a few five dollar contributions out to state candidates who could really use it, and to a couple of the democratic primary candidates who I think ought to be in the discussion (given that the debate participation standards count number of donors, not number of dollars, it makes sense).

Lots of the talk thus far, as it often is this far out, has to with that nebulous quality of “electability”, which is definitely something to consider, certainly, because people do vote emotionally and on personal connections as well as on policy proposals. The problem with “electability” as a factor, though, is that everyone defines it differently, and often uses it to mask their true feelings, especially when those feelings are things that might not be socially acceptable.

One of the big stories that popped up this week that got a lot of discussion was this one from Axios, describing a small women’s focus group in Appleton, Wisconsin, which, according to the headlines, determined the group “like(d) Warren’s policies more than her”. The big money quote in the article was this one:

“I like what she had to say, but I still think she’s — sorry — a bitch,” said Jill T., a 56-year-old Trump voter, who later indicated that she preferred the left-leaning policies to right-leaning policies.

While I pretty wholeheartedly disagree with Jill T.’s descriptor (even if, as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler accurately assessed way back in 2008, Bitches Get Stuff Done), I recognize that, even among women (at least of a certain age or cultural disposition), there’s still significant resistance to women in places of political leadership. That Axios piece quotes all the greatest hits, like “…won’t be looked upon as a leader…”, “…might fail as president because she’s ‘too emotional’…”, “pushover”; the only one missing (and yes, I CTRL-F’d it just be sure I didn’t miss it) was shrill.

But, let’s get back to “bitch”. The adjectives that would be used to define that term; tough, non-nonsense, aggressive; etc…are the same kinds of words that have been used by the same cadre of people who support the current president because “He says what he means” and “tells it like it is” and “a straight shooter”, etc.

It’s amazing the difference the presence or absence of a Y chromosome makes, huh?

Leaving gender aside, we can reach back to 2000 or 2004 and talk about the whole “which candidate would you rather have a beer with“ measure, which, again, plays into that whole nebulous personality/likeability factor. Per the first article linked in this paragraph, our current president nailed that rubric back in 2016, for whatever reason; the general consensus is that he seemed “genuine” or “relatable.”

On the surface, for some people, sure, I guess. Personally, as someone who’s spent his share of time chatting with strangers up against the rail at one of my city’s many fine breweries, I see him as the boorish guy at the end of the bar that gets just a little too loud, sexist and racist, and who always, for obvious reasons, has a few empty stools between him and the rest of the joint’s patrons, regardless of how busy the taproom is.

Whereas, I expect Liz Warren (or Kamala Harris, or Pete Buttigeig, or Beto O’Rourke, or probably most of the other twenty still left for that matter) would be a splendid drinking companion; she’s intelligent, passionate, by all accounts has a wonderful sense of humor, and I imagine she’d be a great conversationalist. Also, I expect we’d have more than a few life experiences is common, which is more than you can say about your average rust belt pipe-fitter and a born-into-money-NY-real-estate-scion (and, like the last guy those on the right wanted to have a beer with, allegedly doesn’t drink anyway).

Or, I dunno, I just prefer the company of thoughtful, intelligent people who legitimately seem to care about their fellow humans? Who knows…I’ve always been aware that my particular experience, especially since I reached the age of majority or thereabouts, has been different than a lot of the folks who track in these metrics when it comes to political candidates. I’m probably not going to enjoy the company of the same sorts of people, and that’s fine. However, I do also want to see those sorts of people (and all Americans) do well, and support policies that further that aim (like accessible health care, affordable education, fair trade practices, etc), as do the candidates I tend to favor.

Their interest, in the end, really is my interest; what’s good for most Americans is good for all of us. Rest assured, even if I can’t convince them to not vote against their self-interest, my vote will be in support of their welfare, as well as mine.

While I didn’t mention this last week, I’ve been struggling with a very quick-onset flu-like bug since the middle of last week. I started feeling an unpleasant tickle in the back of my throat as I was leaving Castleburg on Wednesday night, which, over the course of the 20 minutes-or-so drive home, turned into a serious sore throat, and within an hour was well on the way toward stuffed sinuses, body aches, and mucus leaking from every relevant orifice.

That description is actually pretty mild, to be honest.

Of course, I had entirely too much crap to do to close out the work week, so I pushed myself into the office Thursday and Friday, resting where possible, filling the trash can with tissues, and making judicious use of the mute button on conference calls. I did my best to spend my evenings resting and catching up on sleep, but I blew out a bass string earlier last week, so I had to restring the Jazz V, which turned into a soldering adventure (I’m relatively capable with the iron, but I don’t like doing it) when the output jack popped a connection during a routine nut tightening on Friday, as I had to play a gig in Raleigh (as mentioned) on Saturday afternoon.

With the help of cough drops and cold/flu meds, managed to feel mostly human Saturday morning for the drive and through our two sets in the afternoon (along with the talented Kudzu Ramblers), which went pretty well, all told, even if I wasn’t as energetic as usual; I played my parts effectively because, as I’m fond of saying, I’m a goddamned professional. It was also nice to have my lovely spouse along, both because I enjoy her company immensely, and because she provided much welcome support. Also, Yates Mill County Park is gorgeous; I need to go back some day soon.

I struggled a bit with the drive home, but we made it back by early evening and I made an early night of it, getting some more rest and trying to beat this thing. Sunday, the lovely spouse and I took care of the shopping, and I spent most of the rest of the day on my back with a book covered by at least one cat, except when I watched Between Two Ferns: The Movie, which is as hilariously awkward as you’d expect.

I woke (early) on Monday and was at my office desk by 5:30am, because if I’m up, I’m up, and I might as well start. I felt, early on, half-way human; I think this bug is starting to pass, but since I’m an old now, I just don’t bounce back as quickly. I expect I’ll be taking it easy tonight as well; I hope to be back on the fitness routine by mid-week, but honestly, I don’t see it happening before Wednesday.

Unfortunately, I think I have passed it on to the spouse. I feel terrible about that, but it’s kind of a forgone conclusion…

When I looked at my electronic pay stub on Wednesday morning for this week’s pay check, I noticed my bottom-line take-home was twenty-five bucks less than it’s been previously. I was concerned for a second, until I saw the notes section, which indicated that I’d moved into a new age category for my life insurance and my premium went up.

Nothing like a tangible reminder that you’re getting closer to death, huh? Whatever, I’m going to try and find wry, ironic humor in it.

In any case, this week has been better than last week; the work grind is more in the milieu of “hours of budget meetings” than “your entire efforts for the past two years have been for naught”, which I guess is an improvement.

Out of the office, I’ve gotten some decent outdoor time in, Frank the chiropractor gave my spine a good stretch-and-crack, relieving a lot of the physical signs of last week’s anxiety, made some nicely improvisational and delicious dinners, and have made some very real progress on the record; “Done” is definitely on the horizon, and I think I’m maybe going to have this thing in hand/on disc to sell to my adoring fans by the Atomacon gig

Also, I got to host the monthly open mic on Wednesday, which is always a treat that I still can’t quite believe I get away with doing and getting paid for. The crowd was smaller than usual this month, but enthusiastic and engaged. Also, with fewer folks on the sign-up sheet, we all got to stretch out a bit and play a few more tunes, as well as mix things up with some collaboration. It was relaxing and fun, though the part of me who knows my real job here is to bring business into the taproom feels a little like he dropped the ball, even if I realistically know that it’s not really all that much on me (even if I didn’t get the word out as much on social media this time), and the folks who did show definitely took advantage of the taproom’s custom.

Oh well, I’m going to try to not think too hard about it. Besides, I have another gig this weekend with the Humdingers down in Wake County, NC for the Yates Mill Park Fall Harvest Celebration. We’ll be playing a couple of sets between 1pm and 3pm, and it looks like the weather’s going to be gorgeous. I’m looking forward to it.

Nothing left to do but introduce the playlist, which has a nice mix of a couple of friends, old and new alternative, and that wonderfully quirky tune at #1, which I’d kind of forgotten about, but am already hatching plans to introduce an arrangement of into my setlist:

1. “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” – Timbuk 3
2. “Donald, Where’s Your Trousers?/What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?” – The Brobdignagian Bards
3. “Cats & Netflix” – The Doubleclicks
4. “Regeneration Carol” – Not Literally
5. “See America Right” – The Mountain Goats
6. “Ampersand” – Amanda Palmer
7. “…And Then I Died” – The Moaning Myrtles
8. “Good Girls Don’t” – The Knack
9. “Bad Connection” – Yaz
10. “You’re My Favorite Waste of Time” – Marshall Crenshaw & The Handsome, Ruthless, and Stupid Band
11. “The Killing Moon” – Pavement
12. “If You Just Didn’t Do It” – That Dog
13. “Chimney Fire” – Sway Wild, Birds of Chicago
14. “A New England (John Peel Session, 27th July 1983)” – Billy Bragg

This week has been probably the most aggravating week in my lengthy career as a public-sector bureaucrat. The sheer amount of stereotypical bureacratic bullshit, passive-aggressive power plays, and examples of the worst impulses of humanity I’ve had to deal with have been somewhat overwhelming, and may have led me to send some more-aggressive-than-is-entirely-professional messages via the office email system.

I started out despondent, and have moved straight through frustrated and into pissed as this has gone on. I’ve done a lot after work hiking and a bit of self-medicating (two dollar craft pints at the grocery store bar FTW, especially when the bartender comps you the occasional beer) to try and push through it. It’s kind of worked, though the tension is really working on the body; huge knots in the muscles in my back/shoulder/neck; I’m actually pretty sure my right shoulder is a good inch or two higher than my left because of it.

I honestly don’t want to really think about it anymore, but until the contracts get awarded and the budget actions get done, I’m stuck doing so.

I also found out that all the work my team and I have put into developing new code for the big standardization of accounting lines effort is getting put on the shelf until at least 2022, which honestly really means that all the work was for naught, as two and a half years from now (if we’re lucky), the target system, having been updated with a few dozen “hot fixes” won’t resemble the system we were building for anyway, so we might as well toss the last couple of years’ development in the trash.

I really feel like blowing a whistle someplace – we are emphatically not being good stewards of the taxpayer’s money. What’s worse is that I seem to be the only one bothered by this.

Little on deck for the weekend; not much in the way of unspoken-for money (thanks, school supply lists!) anyway. I’ll probably dig into getting the mixes right on the tracks I have recorded, and the eldest will be home for the weekend between her intensive three-week and the regular semester, so it’ll be nice to hang with her a bit. Might even manage to sell a guitar, which would be nice, because I could use the cash flow.

Oh, in program notes news, I’ve started adding links back. Check to the right –>

Speaking of tunes, here’s the randomly generated playlist out of Spotify; not bad, with plenty of deep cuts:

1. “Spring Rain” – The Go-Betweens
2. “Down in the Park” – Gary Newman/Tubeway Army
3. “I Love You, Suzanne” – Lou Reed
4. “Tumult Around the World” – Titus Andronicus
5. “Hologram” – Tacocat
6. “Gentle Tuesday” – Primal Scream
7. “I Don’t Remember” – Peter Gabriel
8. “Ghosts of American Astronauts” – Mekons
9. “Tap Dancin’ daddy” – Taylor Hollingsworth
10. “Money” – The Flying Lizards
11. “Lonesome Tonight (live)” – New Order
12. “Another Girl, Another Planet” – The Only Ones
13. “Ring Me Up” – Divinyls
14. “Dogs of Lust” – The The
15. “You’re Dead” – Norma Tanega
16. “(I’d Go The) Whole Wide World” – The Monkees

As previously mentioned, I am fighting a pretty bad case of post-Dragoncon con crud; sinus pressure, aches, pains, exhaustion, probably a fever, all that good stuff. But, there’s entirely too much crap going down at the office for me to take time off to rest, so I’m muddling through, as it is, of course, approaching the end of the fiscal year and I have to shepherd contracts through the process (even though I’m no longer a contracting guy) to make sure that my requirements, as well as everyone else’s (because I used to be a contracting guy) get put on contract before 30 September.

I can’t blame the contracting shop for this; they’re good, if green, folks who are trying their best. It’s systemic disfunction within the organization itself, which should be much better at this. It’s simply a lack of using the established processes as definied by law and regulation, and people holding back information when it makes more sense to share it, because somebody gets off on the power trip, or something.

Case in point: my program’s requirement for this year; the one that’s changed not at all since last year, and got approved by the review board back in may in approximately three minutes. The contracting shop is working it this week (which is an improvement over me being on the phone all day on Sunday, September 30 last year approving technical proposals and hand-holding the contract award process through at the literal eleventh hour), with an eye on getting this thing on contract Tuesday or Wednesday; a full three weeks before the end of the fiscal year. We’ve got a valid and justifiable quote from the vendor, confirmed that the money is available in the budget, and we’ve satisfied legal that this is the way to go, because frankly, it totally is, to any reasonable observer.

The only wrinkle is that we make use of another organization’s contract (since they own the IT environment my pieces of code live and operate in) to make the award, which requires paying a small fee to the other organization for access. This should be simple; somebody in the budget office writes up an interdepartmental funds transfer for the fee, and all is well. It’s gone without a hitch the last three years.

But not this year, because they’ve apparently changed the process…again. My contracting guy always took care of it, though this year it’s apparently on me to put the request package together. Having discovered this Tuesday afternoon about a half hour before I was supposed to leave for the day, I begged and pleaded for instructions and guidance, which I got from people I should be able to trust, stayed an extra hour or so (ugh…remember con crud?) packaged up the package in a technically correct* manner and sent it off.

Arriving in the office Wednesday, still feeling the crud, I find a stack of emails telling me I didn’t do things right; from, no less, the person who is supposed to be the authority and gave me the instructions the previous evening. So, first thing in the morning, I put the damned thing together again and send it off, fuming because it shouldn’t be this difficult, and knowing…just knowing, that it’s gonna get bounced again because they changed the bureaucratic process again in the 20 minutes it took me to fill out the last form, because fuck this place.

At least righteous anger is currently, however temporarily, overcoming my con crud

_______________________

* –the best kind of correct