I’m a little past half-way through this course. My team and I (the entire curriculum save the exams is group work, and I have a good team; a really good team) have mutually agreed that we’ve hit the wall. We’re getting pretty good at working the system now; we’re routinely finishing our relatively complex group exercises hours before they’re due, and we’ve actually broken past the 82.5% barrier that’s been mentioned on the last two (we hit an 85% and a 90%!) and we’ve definitely come to realize that grades and points on these exercises are almost completely arbitrary. The instructor’s grading narratives bear little resemblance to the documents they’re allegedly grading, and the last one didn’t even feature complete sentences by the end.

We’re all tired of it, it’s starting to cause me to backslide into sickness after a couple of days of getting better (you see that hike/bike counter to the left going up, right?), and we have no compunctions about bailing 90 minutes early if we’ve finished things, even this ridiculous one today that was basically just putting together a schedule logic puzzle in Microsoft Project (hwaaak-ptooey!) and answering a bunch of of rote repetition questions in yet another PowerPoint (double hwaak-ptooey!) masquerading as a professional brief.

I grow weary of the academic environment. And of course, I’m still not off the hook for my “personal” briefing grade (we all get one for our turn at leading a presentation), since I got bumped to the last graded one. This bit doesn’t bother me (I taught high school – public speaking does not phase me in the least after that), but I like to get it out of the way early.

Still, my team leads the way in terms of grades and competition among the four, to the extent that there is such a thing. We legit rock.

There is, however, no reason this class needs to be an entire month long. It’s very tedious, is what I’m saying.

Today, as I alluded to a few paragraphs back, we bailed early after handing in our latest work product. As it was actually nice outside today, I decided to forgo the hotel gym recumbent stationary bike and return to The Anita C. Leight Estuary Center, a neat park down the road where I wandered around last Sunday afternoon, where I hiked a couple of miles along the trails through the woods and knocked out the first set of tasks for the new Pokemon Go special research thing along the way (I also got bit up by mosquitoes). Being out in the sun was nice, though – it felt pretty good, even with my horked up lungs and sinuses.

I am now sitting in my home away from home again, having consumed my dinner sandwich and worked an hour or so of review for this week’s “Celebration of Knowledge” (hwaak-ptooey! once again) on Friday morning. What’s left for me tonight is to pack my lunch for tomorrow (saving up that per diem!), one last spin on social media, then probably just settle in with a drink and my quite lovely anniversary gift Kindle and knock out a few more chapters of my current book.

…and hopefully not wake up two minutes before my alarm goes off tomorrow like I did this morning. Damn, that sucks.

So yeah, still sick. Even worse than last time I posted something, though I do have some good meds for the symptoms.

That said, it’s not been a terrible week, for being on the road. I even checked my work email thisThursday morning to clear out the automated cruft, and found that things are moving along (relatively) swimmingly in my absence; my guys are getting the job done, and my boss is respecting my boundaries in ways he didn’t when he was gone for this back in June and I was handling all his crap.

Our big briefing for the latest exercise (thankfully, not my voice, which is basically *gone* right now) went really well – we’re playing contractors and building unmanned vehicles in a videogame piece of modeling and simulation software to meet federal requirements, and ours, dubbed the T-REX (for reasons), kicked ass and took names all over the head-to-head run-off, and our actual brief went really well, not spawning any pointed questions from the instructors, and getting us several “good job!” mentions; certainly enough for 84.5%, at any rate.

Even if I weren’t sick, I’m still not heading home this weekend; rather than burn the miles (and mileage reimbursement), I’m going to lie back and recover, maybe take in a movie or something; feels like that’s about all I can manage anyway. Being sick while on mentally-engaging business travel really sucks, let me tell you.

Anyway, here’s some music that worked as the background for my studying for Friday’s second “Celebration of Knowledge”; plenty of classic rock, bounded by swimming nouns on either end. Why not:

1. “Cameos” – Swimming Trees
2. “Herjazz” – Huggy Bear
3. “Holding Pattern” – Real Estate
4. “Carry on my Wayward Son” – Kansas
5. “Rebel Girl” – Bikini Kill
6. “Under Pressure” – Queen
7. “Take On Me” – A-Ha
8. “Youth Gone Wild” – Skid Row
9. “Marooned” – Pink Floyd
10. “Here We Come” – Sleater-Kinney
11. “Raise My Rent” – David Gilmour
12. “A New Day Yesterday” – Jethro Tull
13. “Head Over Heels” – Tears for Fears
14. “Girls, Girls, Girls” – Motley Crue
15. “Tides” – Swimming Tapes

It’s relatively bog-standard Wednesday evening; a week-and-a-half into my class, and the teams is starting to figure out the basic pattern and rules of engagement, getting along well, doing good work, and developing, at least in our case, weird conspiracy theories about how our grades are determined, and wondering about the oddly ever-present recurring value of 82.5%, arbitrarily applied, and the tenuous relationships between comments and the actual work offered up for evaluation. Or, you know, maybe we’re all just paranoid. Passing, but paranoid.

So of course this is the time during my adventure that I get sick.

This weekend, my lovely wife, in the midst of getting the party organized and doing all the amazing things that she does, was fighting a cold pretty hard. She seems to be mostly over it now, but it took her down pretty hard Saturday evening. We joked a bit that it would hit me mid-week.

We need to stop joking like that.

I started, roughly yesterday after lunch, to feel a bit of a tickle in the throat to go along with the sinus headaches I’ve been dealing for basically the whole summer. I powered through it, did the gym thing, then headed down the road a ways to have dinner with dear friends who moved to this part of the world a year ago, Andrea and Eric (and their wonderful children), who were kind enough, when I mentioned I was going to be around, to offer their hospitality, friendship, and a home-cooked meal while I was here. We had a wonderful time catching up, sharing joys, sorrows, jokes, and Howard the Duck references, and made tentative plans to catch up again before the month is out. It was exactly what I needed last night, at this point in my trip, and I can’t thank them enough.

I really hope I didn’t get any of them sick.

So today, I struggled through; our next major group project took shape nicely, and we’ve started working our strategy for studying for this next exam, the largest of the four we’re to face. I worked through lots of cough drops, then, upon leaving, hit up the store for some laundry supplies and to replenish my food stores; decided to consider my trip around the local big box grocery my workout for the day, and returned to the hotel, ate some food, studied some for the exam on Friday morning, scanned the headlines, and wrote this missive. After I finish this, I expect I’m probably going to settle in with a book (currently Year One: A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Collection, written by my con associate John G. Hartness, and endorsed by Whoopi Goldberg!) and knock off early so I’m not down for the count like last time, because now is not the time.

A little late this year, but I think the kid forgives me (never mind, I fudged the dates!).

It’s Sunday evening, and I’m back at my August home-away-from-home here in northeastern MD quickly making a trip to celebrate the kid’s birthday a few days early. Colleen went all-out putting together a Harry Potter-themed party, with floating candles hanging from the ceiling, turning the front door into Platform 9¾ picking out wands, sorting into Houses, all the good stuff you do at a Potter-themed party for a soon-to-be-eleven year old and her friends.

Also, there was cake.

Getting home took almost five hours, starting with the first of four exams (I got an 85% on the first one; I kind of wish I split the difference on two related questions I wasn’t sure about instead of going all-or-nothing; I could’ve had a 90% Oh well; I’m in fine shape to pass the course, and that’s what matters).

It was a whirlwind round trip, though I stopped at a nearby state park to stretch my legs and catch some Eevees for Community Day, and to knock out some grocery shopping so I can feed myself for the week.

After that quick trip, I revised some plans in consultation with my lovely wife; I was going to make another quick trip, (a friend is playing a show within an hour or two of home, and I’d be seeing the kid off to college for the fall semester), though the thought of having to put something like fourteen total hours of wheel time in (and Colleen’s thought of having to deal with me after having to put in fourteen hours behind the wheel) changed out minds; I’m going to stay in my current region for this weekend and maybe take in some of the local sites within spitting distance, and not rack up another 500 miles on the Scion, and save my gas pedal leg some strain.

I also have a dinner date later this week with friends who relocated up this way from Richmond a year or two back; having a nice home-cooked meal and some quality socializing and catching up should be nice.

Oh, and I finally finished the audiobook of Brandon Sanderson’s Oathbringer today! It’s been months – running the book at 1.5x speed, it was still over 40 hours long. Great book, though!

Anyway, enjoy your week, dear reader. I’m going to try not to wear out too much from all the studying and group projects.

As I write this, I’ve spent a few hours studying for the first “Celebration of Knowledge” (I swear, I wanna hurt the person at the Department training organization who came up with that particular euphemism) scheduled for tomorrow morning, and am hitting consistent 100% scores on the practice tests that some kind soul put up on quizlet to assist in studying. We’re all a little concerned, because unlike pretty much any other course in the workforce improvement/certification curriculum, the tests in this particular “capstone” program management course are closed book, and the instructors aren’t particularly open about where we ought to focus in terms of the huge volume of material.

Oh well, like most federal training courses, it seems as if it’s not too difficult; I’ll manage.

Yeah, as I’d mentioned previously, I’m on the road again, for a month-long training course for work; the final course I need for top level certification in program management in my particular area of the public sector. I’m at a certain federal facility in the “Free State” of Maryland, living in an extended-stay Hilton property for the entire month of August, more or less.

It’s not terribly exciting. It’s actually kind of exhausting, digesting all the material, and doing all kinds of group project work. Luckily, I have a pretty good team, who I get along with pretty well so far, and we seem to have metagamed the course enough to deliver the stuff they’re looking for. I’m kind of out of my depth; most of my classmates are way deeper into program management than I am; I’m just a cog in the machine of a program office, several levels down the org chart running my little corner of things supporting a business system – my classmates actually manage things (I think one of them is involved in the real-life program the “case study” fake program we use for the class is based on). Oh well, when I’m done, I’ll have another big certification that I can use to hopefully, maybe, open doors for me elsewhere.

Oh well, I’m kind of good at school.

I’ve been pretty frugal so far – I think I’ve spent a total of a day and a half of per diem money in the first week (there’s a grocery store around the corner, and my room has a kitchen); I’m planning on saving up most of my per diem and mileage reimbursement to pay off some bills (and maybe invest in a small portable P.A.). A whole month on the road is a lot of money, and I don’t need to eat fancy (not that there’s a lot here anyway).

I do have to make a trip Saturday – it’s the youngest’s birthday party on Saturday; I won’t miss that. It’s a bit of driving, but I’ll live. I don’t mind the wheel time, necessarily; I’m finally almost finished with the 30+ hour audiobook of Sanderson’s “Oathbringer”!

So far, though, I’m staying out of the home office grind; this is a vacation.

Anyway; here’s my study music:

1. “Ravens in the Library” – S.J. Tucker
2. “Scare Goat” – MC Frontalot
3. “Miranda’s Secret” – Valentine Wolfe
4. “The Ballad of Essie Tregowan” – Mikey Mason
5. “Dark Come Soon” – Tegan and Sara
6. “Come To Mama” – Lady Gaga
7. “Turn Around” – They Might Be Giants
8. “Grade Nine” – Barenaked Ladies
9. “Do You Remember Rock and Roll Radio?” – The Ramones
10. “Moms Away!” – Miracles of Modern Science
11. “Blame It On The Love Of Rock and & Roll” – Bon Jovi
12. “Keep Holding On” – Avril Lavigne
13. “Je Suis Rick Springfield” -Jonathan Coulton
14. “That’s All” Genesis
15. “You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want (When You’re Making Love)” – Avenue Q – Original Broadway Cast

Another week, another pile o’ drama. Par for the course.

Work has been ridiculously stressful, the weather’s been awful, kids have been extra twitchy lately, and the tension is bouncing back and forth amongst everyone in the tiny Parker household (including the cats who deign to stay) and everyone is on edge.

Yay.

I did have a neat little adventure last night; some friends we hadn’t seen in quite a while dropped me a line on Wednesday evening about a house concert in town, and as we didn’t have anything else going on (for once!), so Colleen and I joined a bunch of other “music nerds” to catch a pretty great performer named Keelan Donovan at a neat little “underground” venue, Chilton House, where some great folks bring some great performers (and some big names!) for very intimate performances, and I really hope I’ll be able to catch a show again sometime, or at least swap cool Replacements stories again with Angi soon.

Thanks, so much, Michelle and John, for thinking of us at the last minute.

Anyway, I got not quite enough sleep last night thanks to this (although as we’re all old professionals, the show wrapped at the perfectly rational hour of around 10pm), and I’m going to focus on the positive vibes I’m still kind of feeling after having such a good time last night.

As I’ve indicated previously, starting Monday mid-day, I’m in the wind (or at least the wilds of middling Maryland) for a month-long program management course. Work until then is largely about shutting down the shop for a while, as in getting things ready to roll in my absence (or at least toss problems over the fence to the boss, who had no problem doing so to me when he took this class in June). Right now, my team’s ahead of schedule on our stuff, but all the other moving parts seem to be doing less moving these days, and who knows if I’ll even have a staff come the new FY, as the contracts shop is moving even less.

Dammit, I said I wasn’t going to bitch about work. Sorry.

Let’s change the tune, but stick with the music. I read a really good book this week: Natania Barron’s Rock Revival, published by my buddy John Hartness’s imprint, Falstaff Books. Really great story of music, band dynamics, and making art. Seriously, check it out (as well as John’s other stuff – he’s a talented guy).

For the weekend, some other friends are having a wine and cheese party tomorrow afternoon. I think it’ll be a good time, especially since we’re bringing mead along to go with our interesting cheeses. I think I’m finally going to get rid of the P.A. I’ve been holding onto since April (and using to bail out dance company events) as well.

Anyway; here’s some music – pretty decent mix, and I’m going with the name on the 45rpm record for #8, even if Pandora went with the modern equivalent, and #14 (oh, I stretch the bounds of eleven) is a blast to play as a soundcheck, especially when you shift the chord progression to White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army”:

1. “Poofter’s Froth Wyoming” – Frank Zappa & Captain Beefheart
2. “Tonight Feels Different” – Keelan Donovan
3. “You Shook Me All Night Long (live)” – AC/DC
4. “Hello” – Adele
5. “Making Art” – JD Samson @ MEN
6. “Sweet Emotion” – Aerosmith
7. “The Gold” – Manchester Orchestra
8. “Jack and Diane” – John Cougar
9. “Our Swords” – Band of Horses
10. “Medley: We Used to Know/For a Thousand Mothers (live)” – Jethro Tull
11. “Always Something There To Remind Me” – Naked Eyes
12. “Soma” – The Strokes
13. “It’s That Bad” – Go Betty Go
14. “Sweet Dreams (are made of this)” – Eurythmics
15. “Fade Into You” – Mazzy Star
16. “That Thing” – Hazel English

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* – Many of those who know me know my rule; “Never** refuse an opportunity for live music”. I almost always win when I follow this rule. Doesn’t matter the genre, venue, etc; live music is an inherent good, and you should enjoy it (and if you can, be present, don’t do this if you can help it – couple of photos is fine).

** – I include the asterisks, because of my biggest hit/miss with this one, but it’s complicated. Once I missed a chance to see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at the Meadowlands, after missing out earlier that day on U2 tickets**. That said, because I wasn’t actually there to answer the phone to take the Springsteen opportunity (see, it’s fuzzy, I didn’t actually “refuse”), I got to spend one last evening with my dad. “Never” is a tough one, and I have passed on a couple of opportunities since, but in general, it’s a good idea to go see music played if you have the chance.

I so needed this:

Today’s gonna be a better day, whether Bison razes my village or not. Kinda has to be.

Monday was all the phone calls. All of them. Also, being told out of one side of management’s mouth that I need to disengage because of the class next month, but also need to get these two dozen new things done before I leave. Also, my children have been totally evil beasties…well, more than usual.

…and, when I went to go ride my bike, in the rain, I found that somewhere along the line, I picked up a nail in the front tire. Dammit. At that point, I couldn’t do it anymore. I put the bike away unfixed, took Ready Player One* back to the Redbox, and gave up to do nothing but curl up on the couch to catch up on Cloak and Dagger** on hulu, and went to bed early. Twas the best plan.

I also lost my “One Ring” again – I swear I had it on when I went to bed last night, but it’s not on my finger now. It’s probably in the sheets…I feel so…visible.

Anyway, that’s my life. Dammit.

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* – okay, stealth reviews of movies part one: RP1 was…okay? I liked the book, though I didn’t love it; a lot of the criticism about it being mostly ‘member berries is true, but they’re the right memories for me. Most of it worked for me. The movie did some things differently (the second key actually worked better than the book), and smoothed out some of the wrinkles (hey, it’s Spielberg; guy earned his rep), though was about as good as the source material in the end. I enjoyed it, but I’m glad I just rented it and didn’t pay full price.

** – stealth reviews of tv shows, part two: C&D is, um…pretty good? It’s somewhat different from the admittedly d-list comics deep cut it’s based on, which is actually a good thing. The New Orleans setting works, the kids are charismatic, and about episode seven when they start being heroes, it’s hit it’s stride, though they kind of roll things back because they realise they have more to go, then they lampshade it by framing the next ep with a lesson on The Hero’s Journey in the classroom, which is effective, but…Oh well, it’s not done yet; I’ll keep watching. However, in spite of what Jonah says, Cage season 2 is better.

I was a little, shall we say, bleak, on my friday update? Probably, but then, that’s where I kind of find myself. I’m not necessarily better, but I did a whole lot of nothin’ beyond totally failing my quest rolls to find things for errands and catching up on some movies and tv. It was largely quiet, mostly; and at least sort of restful.

I think I was dealing with low-grade migraines (stress, allergies, all that stuff can contribute) for most of the weekend, which happens occasionally with me. I’ll manage.

Wasn’t thrilled to wake up to rain this morning, but whatever. I’ve concluded that I’m going to go ride a bike in the rain if it comes to that.

This week, as it appears, is largely going to be a week of disengagement around the office, as starting next week (assuming my travel orders can get through the bureaucratic nightmare that is my particular organization) I’ll be spending a few weeks (really, the entire month of August) off-site in the wilds of Maryland taking a resident course about program management. I’ll be slipping home for a couple of weekends (I have a life), but as my boss just wrapped this a few weeks ago, he confirmed that it pretty much eats your life for four weeks.

I am going to consider it a vacation. I have a team of folks who will mostly be able to keep things rolling in my absence (although one of my best contractors got a great offer last week and is leaving the team – I wish her luck, but I’m going to miss her); and there’s nothing in my corner of the world that can’t wait until tomorrow, in spite of what people around here occasionally say.

Vacation. That’s what I’m calling it. Yep. I’m just going to keep my mind on the idea that I’ll have a valuable and marketable certification in my pocket when I’m done with this, which might help me find a way off this sinking ship eventually.