(H/T to the Dragon*Con (unofficial) discussion group)

As you might surmise, this is not my age.

It is the number of miles I rode today on the Virginia Capital Trail. My goal all summer has been to work up to riding, essentially, from Richmond to Williamsburg on the trail. Originally, that idea was the entire 52 mile length. On my 20 pound mountain bike, that wasn’t going to happen. And, there’s a great trailhead within a fifteen minute drive of the house that makes for a good parking/starting point, about ten miles into the trail, and there’s another one just on the edge of Williamsburg that shaves a bit more off.

I did not ride from Richmond to Williamsburg (I shall explain why shortly), though I did ride the equivalent; I just went out half way and turned around. Going to Williamsburg requires my lovely wife driving out and picking me up. This didn’t, and she is very busy making dresses and performing alterations ahead of next weekend’s WIDA Open Championship, and I did not wish to take her away from that. This way, I didn’t have to bother her.

As I said, I took Friday off, because nobody was there anyway. I hit the trail around 8:10am, and finished up just shy of 11:30. Seventeen and a half miles out, seventeen and a half back. I did great for the first thirty miles. The last five hurt, though I did it. Bucket list achievement unlocked.

For posterity, here’s photographic documentation of the before and after, left to right:

I look a bit less chipper in the after image, but I was still rather happy with my accomplishment.

According to a calculator I found online, I burned approximately 1800 calories, which makes the beer I’m drinking right now (Hardywood Tropication IPA) *free*. The next one’ll be free too, but I don’t know what that one’s gonna be just yet. We shall see.

That has been my day, other than a run out to the store to buy a couple of pairs of shorts, because it’s ridiculously hot right now, and I only had one pair of non-bike shorts in my current size, and I’d donated all the others. Got caught in the rain on the way back, but whatever.

Anyway, I feel good about it. I bragged about it to my kid, who’s currently unfolding in Sydney airport after sixteen hours crossing the Atlantic (she time-traveled via the magic of timezones and the international date line as well, which is bad ass.). She’ll be in Adelaide tomorrow.

That’s been my day. I won.

second Civil War aside, I had a very low-key 4th of July, other than a long, barely populated drive out to Amherst and back, dropping the eldest off with a couple of her professors and a cadre of her fellow students who will, quite likely by the time many of you read this, be on a very long journey to the land of Vegemite and dangerous animals, Australia, for a week or so of attendance at an international dance conference and hopefully some very cool experiences. The price was largely right, and given the fact that I had no such opportunities at her age, we made sure she could be capable of having such an opportunity herself. My summers during college involved eighty hours a week of driving catering trucks and peeling potatoes, which, while not an awful experience, pales in comparison to being able to travel to the other side of the world, meet people with shared interests from across the planet, and pet baby koalas.

As a parent, these are the kinds of things you gotta make happen for the kids.

This week, given the 4th being on Wednesday, has made my office pretty much a ghost town all week; to that end, I’m taking Friday off (thus this Thursday entry again), because it makes sense to do so. I could use the mental health day, and I’ve decided, more or less that tomorrow is going to be my big VA Capital Trail ride – given how busy my spouse is with prepping costumes and and such for the WIDA US Open Championships the school is hosting next weekend (it appeasr I’ll be running sound for one of the stages, as expected), I think it’ll be a 15-17 mile out and back thing, rather than a “have the wife pick me up in Williamsburg” thing, which is fine, as the return leg always feels shorter anyway. It’ll feel good to get that crossed off the schedule.

Getting that out of the way will also clear the decks for the plans we have Saturday (I won’t feel so guilty about skipping a day if I did 35 day prior), which is to attend the Compassionate Action Conference downtown, which is a day of speakers about animal welfare and cool stuff like that; also, The Kitten Lady will be there, and we’re all big fans of her work, and especially some of her rescue kittens. It’ll be cool.

Otherwise, life is life, which, if you are keeping track, is not the best it could be right now for me (so much stress), but whatever. Gonna get through it, which is all we can do.

Anyway, tunes are the thing. Pretty standard; lots of indie, two generations of Zappa, and the Wang Chunk single that’s better than the one everybody knows anyway:

1. “Brown Shoes Don’t Make It” – Frank Zappa
2. “Eyes Without A Face” – Billy Idol
3. “Sublime” – What I Got
4. “June -N- July” – Cadallaca
5. “Stolen Dance” – Milky Chance
6. “Dance Hall Days” – Wang Chung
7. “We Belong” – Pat Benetar
8. “The Torture Never Stops” – Dweezil Zappa
9. “Slepp Meg” – Lumsk
10. “She Sells Sanctuary” – The Cult
11. “Pompeii” – Bastille
12. “Photograph” – Def Leppard

Setting this loose today, because I’m off the clock tomorrow as mentioned, and probably won’t be locked to a computer while things load and compile, so…

Anyway, the week, as a mentioned, has been relatively quiet – I’ve got a couple of conversations that have to happen today before I cut loose for the week, some of which offer tantalizing possibility, but are more than likely going to get scuttled once the higher-ups get in the way of progress. I’m going to have to manage expectations, and kick the can down the street a ways until I can get the boss back and talk about strategies, because the savings could be huge if they let me do it.

Also, they are *finally* starting to migrate our organization’s email over to the Department’s Enterprise Email service (long overdue; we shouldn’t be managing our own), though the instructions and information regarding prep (mostly locally sourced) are not particularly clear or thorough. I am supremely glad I am not here tomorrow to witness the carnage.

I hate that I’m that cynical, but my experiences trying to do my job in a way that fits with my values of not wasting the taxpayers’ (read: you and me and everybody else) have not been positive the last few years.

Grrr.

It’s hard for me to not be cynical and outraged at anything happening in government right now (save a couple really great victories in Democratic primaries, which give me some hope), what with daily pictures of crying kids in cages and the news about Justice Kennedy announcing his retirement yesterday, pretty much timed perfectly for maximum craziness. We’re in for an interesting couple of months, certainly, but then, it’s been an interesting couple of years.

Oh well, I’m going to do my best to improve things from where I’m sitting, offer help and support where I can, and try to maintain some sort of positivity, in spite of our being part of what I’ve increasingly started to consider a Nation In Decline™

Oh well; I’ve gotten over fifty miles in this week (had a nice twelve miler yesterday), weighed in at *exactly* 220lb this morning, have a nice opportunity to make music with my friends tomorrow, and what looks like a nice Saturday afternoon spent with friends to look forward to, and the weather guy on the radio this morning talked excitedly about no rain in the forecast for the next five to seven days and how things will “dry out” (not that I didn’t enjoy slogging through six inches of mud, uphill, the other day, but it hurts) soon, and as I said before, this week, Thursday is my Friday.

SoI shall find the positive where I can.

Anyway, tunes. This week’s list is lots of indie, perhaps the most used movie trailer/commercial tune of recent memory (and was a big hit on my college campus in the early 90s), and some good old hair metal. I also let it expand a bit beyond the legitmate definition of “eleven-ish”. Oh well. Fine with me:

1. “Pibroch” – Jethro Tull
2. “Gone” – Day Wave
3. “If You Leave” – Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
4. “Electric Feel (Video Mix) – MGMT
5. “Einharjar” – King of Asgard
6. “Cherry Pie” – Warrant
7. “Send Me On My Way” – Rusted Root
8. “Alone” – Heart
9. “Electric Band” – Wild Flag
10. “One of these Days (Live 1988) – Pink Floyd
11. “Jump” – Van Halen
12. “Mascaria” – Slant 6
13. “Someone New” – Hozier
14. “So Young” – Portugal The Man
15. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” – Tears for Fears

So far, this week’s been relatively painless. As Independence Day is on Wednesday this year, the whole of next week (starting, say…this Thursday afternoon) is essentially treated as a holiday weekend by everyone in my occupational orbit. With people taking leave everywhere, it’s tough to reach a quorum for anything, so the usual meetings are being cancelled more often than not.

I had five emails waiting for me when I got into the office this morning. Five. And none of them were relevant; all of them system generated cruft. This never happens.

As the title suggests, I wonder if the universe is attempting to dope me into complacency before dropping the hammer. it’s got today and tomorrow to do so, because I’m taking off work on Friday. Partially because I need a mental health day, and also because I’m playing a Humdingers show at the Hillsborough (NC) Public Library on Friday night, and wanted to be rested and take my time with the drive. Music-making is always a good thing.

Also, as of last night, I have almost 40 miles biked this week so far; twenty-two on pavement (VA Capital Trail) and seventeen on mud (my usual park at Dutch Gap, which was *very* muddy). I came out of Monday’s ride feeling relieved and refreshed. Tuesday’s ride in the mud *hurt*. The sky is threateningly cloudy today, but the rain’s supposed to hold off – I’m looking at taking a somewhat shorter (under fifteen) on the pavement today, nice and slow, to “play through the pain”, so to speak, but not aggravate my muscle stress.

Anyway, we’ll see what the next couple of days hold…

It has been, shall we say, not my best week.

Coming off of some very difficult stuff at work*, the stress and anxiety of Father’s Day (yeah, it hits me hard), adjusting to the kids being home from school, some weird weather, and frankly, outrage fatigue from the news cycle this week, I have not been my best. I’m trying to do better.

My best times this week were all on the trail; especially Wednesday’s twenty on the Virginia Capital Trail. ‘Twas relaxing, rejuvenating, and had the favor of the gods, as the rain didn’t start until the moment I finished racking the bike on the car after finishing. It also seemed like I was going downhill both ways, which was weird, but I’ll take it.

I’m hoping the weekend provides some relief; we’ll see. The big girls are heading out for a dance competition on the shore of the Great Lakes this weekend; it was going to be all the girls, though the youngest started running a fever last night. We’ll see how that impacts male bonding time (we still might get out to see Deadpool 2, I dunno). Sick kids are tough, though. Anyway, the weather looks like hell this week, so I’m probably just going to accept that the biking isn’t happening and pick up again on Monday.

As for this week’s playlist, I like it; equal parts 80s pop and modern indie. Works for me.

1. “Summer of ’69” – Bryan Adams
2. “Young Presidents” – Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
3. “Santonian Shores” – Eluveitie
4. “Ophelia” – The Lumineers
5. “Mythological Beauty” – Big Thief
6. “Killer Queen” – Queen
7. “Phantom Limb”- The Shins
8. “Jesse’s Girl” – Rick Springfield
9. “Dangerous Veils” – Jethro Tull
10. “Home” – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes
11. “I Wanna Go Back” – Eddie Money
12. “Dickie’s Such and Asshole (live)” – Frank Zappa

Oh, and finally, since Pokemon Go rolled out the friends/trading business finally, my trainer code is 2766 8892 1979; if you’re playing, let’s be friends.

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*- management of resources, belligerent developers, the boss out in training when I really need some input, contracting woes, one really long day to support meetings, some senior folks in the department dangling money in front of me to get projects I want done done, though knowing that other people in the program office are going to stonewall me because my successes point out their deficiencies, and hearing the words “under investigation” whispered about an unrelated program; which doesn’t surprise me in the least, but is going to get in my way of getting stuff done. I really need to get out of here…

happy birthday, kid…

So, I didn’t get a whole lot of downtime this weekend.

Starting with Friday afternoon, I left work, rode a quick ten on the trail, then made my way over to the local high school auditorium (now vacated by students, since Friday was the last day) to set-up and assist where necessary for the dress and “tech” rehearsal for the dance recital scheduled for Saturday.

Given the weird, incomprehensible, and undocumented sound board installed there (we ran into issues last year as well) not supporting our needs (or indeed reliably playing music through the house speakers in any way), I ended up running home (thankfully, only a mile away from the venue) and grabbing the little portable P.A. that’s been sitting in a corner of my house since April when I carried it home from Ravencon for a friend who said she’s get it later (which still hasn’t come) and ended up saving the day. Not all heroes, as they say, wear capes. This rehearsal ran late into the evening, after which I came home and collapsed, since I’d been running all week with stress and depression and whatnot, both from me and from the rest of the family who were also jittery, given recital nerves and end-of-school feelings and whatever.

Saturday I woke early-ish, knocked another ten miles out, handled a few errands, got some people rolling on cleaning things up, did some laundry, and tried to relax for an hour or two (read some book, commandeered the PS4 to play a little FFXII remastered, realizing that I hadn’t played it in six months per the save file date), before heading out to drop some books at the library and wander around the general village green area to catch larvitars for Pokemon Go Community Day (I got three shinies – a pretty good effort) before coming home, re-dressing in backstage black, and getting the sound dialed in and running audio for the recital, which wasn’t the complete flustercluck we were expecting; it at least sounded good. I’ll take it. The fam put in a good showing, at any rate, and afterwards, we closed down the local mexican place down the street with some out-of-town friends who came to see us and one of the other adult dancers and her friend (all of us got along swimmingly, and I think we just enabled a new social interface).

Sunday the family took me(?) to Busch Gardens to wander around for Fathers’ Day and check out the food and wine festival they’ve got going on. The park was pretty lightly populated overall, which was nice – lines were short, food was good, and I got to ride a bunch of roller coasters (since the youngest child decides she likes them); this time around we knocked out Invadr and Verbolten; I’ll take it.

I’m kinda spent. Weather’s supposed to be really, really hot – we’ll see how the biking holds out, maybe not a 60-80 mile week this week, but I spent our drive out to Williamsburg yesterday recce-ing my Va Capital trail bike route – I just need to pick the day.

More often than not, life looks a little better from other side of twenty miles on the trail.

As folks keeping tabs on me this week likely know, I’ve been having a rough week, mentally and emotionally. Vivid dreams, unsettling nervous anxiety, intermittent malaise. Not my best showing. That said, I’ve been doing my best to muddle through, and one of the things that’s helped me is keeping up the biking routine. I hit a bit of a bump when the rain spoiled it Monday, though the rest of the week’s rides have been a real boon to my mental health, especially rides like yesterday’s: low humidity, mostly empty trail beyond me, the trees, and the animals; plenty of time and space to just let the mind empty and wander. Sometimes, of course, my mind wanders over to unfortunate earworm songs, and sometimes it falls to counting crank revolutions and calculating pedals per mile, but whatever floats in and out of my thought processes, it really does help to purge concerns and give me a bit of a reset. It is, as I’ve semi-jokingly taken to calling it, my “two-wheeled meditation.”

It helps that it’s been a kind of quiet week at work with few emergencies to deal with; my team’s doing their level best to stay on (or often slightly ahead of) schedule, and I’ve largely been left alone to do my job and not deal with weird manufactured crises. That’s always nice.

It appears as if I’ll be busy this weekend, starting tonight with dance recital dress rehearsal (I’m pitching in to help set up and run sound), the recital tomorrow, and riding out Fathers’ Day on Sunday (see this week’s references to my mental state for details). I also need to work in the usual tasks of laundry, groceries, and the like.

Luckily, I think I’ll be able to make some time for some more of that two-wheeled meditation.

Anyway, Friday morning tunes. A neat mix, including a tune I get to play with a friend every now and then, a neat 80s rarity, and in at #3, perhaps the most 90s song ever; or at least the one that kicked off the whole early 90s aesthetic (even if it’s really about the events in late 80s Eastern Europe).

Music. Another kind of meditation, or at the very least, a neat distraction for someone like me.

1. “Daughter” – Pearl Jam
2. “Sunglasses At Night” – Corey Hart
3. “Right Here, Right Now” – Jesus Jones
4. “It’s A Mistake” – Men at Work
5. “One Brown Mouse” – Jethro Tull
6. “Sweet Revenge” – Bangs
7. “Here and Now” – Letters to Cleo
8. “No More Tears” – Ozzy Osborne
9. “From the Beginning (Alt Version)” – Emerson, Lake & Palmer
10. “Oh! You Pretty Things (BBC Radio Version)” – David Bowie
11. “Fascination Street (Extended Mix) – The Cure

Since I wrote my last post, I’ve kind of sunk into one of those strange, kinda mysterious depressive episodes I get now and then; feeling down, weird buzzes of axiety in the nervous system, typical for me. Sometimes it just happens, sometimes it’s got a reason. I thought at first it might be the rain/weather (spoiled my ride on Monday, cut yesterday’s short), or sympathetic vibrations from my wife and eldest daughter, who are both dealing with some new medication and are a bit out-of-sorts. I didn’t really know. Like I said, sometimes it doesn’t have a reason.

I finally made the connection this morning on the drive in to work this morning.

I miss ya, Dad.

This is right around the time, so many years ago, when it happened. What made it weird is that it usually doesn’t hit me at this time of year; usually, it’s around his birthday in March. Not this year, apparently, as I was pleasantly distracted by my West Coast Musical Oddessey™ this time around, which, I guess caused things to settle in somewhere else.

We’ll see if coming to the realization helps me get past it. I hope so.

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Otherwise, I still got some stuff done the last couple of days, in spite of my brain betraying me. Got some actual useful stuff done at work, still managed to get a ten mile ride in yesterday, and voted in the Virginia primary yesterday; as there was no Democratic ballot this time around in my congressional district (both Senator Kaine and Rep. McEachin, the incumbent Dems, are running unopposed), I voted in the Republican primary (we’re allowed to pick one or the other here, as we don’t register by party), choosing to support diversity in candidates by picking Shion Fenty (who intrigued me, as a black millenial woman and a child of immigrants running as a Republican), and E.W. Jackson (who is, I fully recognize, a total trainwreck of a candidate, but ticked the diversity box over the racist Corey Stewart and the other guy); both of whom lost by significant margins, which I totally expected; I wasn’t intentionally engaging in “ratf**king”, but that vote for Jackson isn’t doing any favors for my defense. Oh well.

The good news in the election is that Abigail Spanberger (with whom I share many friends in common and have met socially once or twice) easily won the nomination across town in the 7th district, and will quite likely knock out Dave “women are in my grill wherever I go” Brat come November.

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So yeah; I have some good news to celebrate here in my adopted home state, a decent weather report for the rest of the week to support my biking (which helps me deal with my issues), stuff to keep me busy through the weekend, and a bunch of friends out there who offer support when I need it (thanks, folks).

I think I’ll be okay.