This week, all told, has been kinda dull. Solved a couple of problems, saw a few others stall. I had some frustration with the state of the current project management hellscape come to a head on Thursday, but luckily one of my very good, knowledgeable, and understanding teammates/mentor types was in for some other meetings and kindly and heartily engaged in a communal bitch session, and we both felt a bit better afterwards.

Friday includes a clear work calendar; which I’m okay with. I plan on knocking out all the electronic annual training I have to take for the new FY. It’s that time. This stuff is normally dull, but occasional interesting or amusing things come in, such as the slide on the Truth in Negotiations Act in the fraud awareness training module having a picture of TINA Turner on it.

Also, folks are starting to brace a bit for the now regular fear of government shutdown since we still lack a continuing budget resolution; watching the memos about travel funding starting to roll in, and frantically F5’ing Government Executive website to get the latest news. Political theater like this doesn’t exactly make any of us confident.

The weekend’s a busy one, but not in a bad way. Friday afternoon I have to go get the kid at college; HOI is hosting the Richmond Fall Feis, so they’re all dancing Saturday. For once, though, I won’t be there – I’ll be playing the legendary Filk and Cookies Christmas Party with the Humdingers, hosted by some dear friends. We’ve done this one the last many many years, and a good time is had by all. It’ll just be me representing the Parker clan this year, but I’ll try and do the rest of them proud.

That’s about it here, really. On the two week countdown to the end of my work year now (barring the crap in the third paragraph – well, that just might make it one week countdown, but it in a “I wonder when I’m gonna get paid again” kind of way); it won’t feel real until the AV Club posts “This Year in Band Names”, though.

Speaking of bands, here ya go:

1. “Under Pressure” – Queen (feat. David Bowie)
2. “Before Battle I Embrace” – Folkearth
3. “The Ocean Breathes Salty” – Modest Mouse
4. “Summer of Love” – Waxahatchee
5. “Youth” – Daughter
6. “The Denial Twist (live)” – The White Stripes
7. “Don’t You Ever Wash That Thing? (live)” – Frank Zappa
8. “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” – Journey
9. “Thelonius” – Jeff Beck
10. “Deadbeat Girl” – Day Wave
11. “Mascaria”- Slant Six

It’s tough, as someone posessing a Y chromosome, to find the right angle to talk about the recent streak of men in positions of relative power being called out for sexual harassment/misconduct. It shouldn’t be, really; somebody engaging in that sort of behavior is undeniably reprehensible, and ought to be called out, shamed and punished for it. At the same time, being a human male, I’m sure there’s been some time in my life where I’ve been less-than-perfect when it comes to interactions with my female peers, friends, colleagues, or just somebodies I’ve passed by on the street. It’s likely been nothing seriously out of sorts (I would hope), but I’ve been on this planet for more than forty years, and slightly more than half of this planet’s human inhabitants are female, and I’m far from a perfect person, so I’m sure it’s happened sometime.

My response to the statistical likelihood that I’ve been a chauvinist douchebag at one point or another is, I guess, appropriately, shame, and the desire to apologize sincerely to anyone to whom I’ve ever behaved that way to, but then, I start second-guessing myself, probably rightly, that any such apology would come off as insincere and self-serving, and it’d just be insulting to anyone I’d offer it to, so I should probably just shut up, but at the same time I want to be supportive to my fellow humans, but the act of doing so is just as likely to offend someone as not.

This is what it’s like in my head sometimes.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the reaction a lot of basically decent (which I honestly hope is a description that applies to me) people are having right now. It should be simple, but it’s still kind of complicated because of the great possibility that at some point, I’ve been in the wrong in this particular area, and thus don’t really have the room to criticize withouth coming off as insincere. It’s a weird place to be, but then, life is rarely so cut and dried; simplicity doesn’t often enter into things where reality is concerned.

That said, I’m just going to keep doing my best to treat people with basic respect; find basically non-hostile, non-creepy ways to steer clear of people who can’t manage basic respect in return, and try to be a good neighbor to the rest of the organisms, sentient and otherwise, I share the universe with. Hopefully, that’ll be enough.

That said, I’m not wholly perfect. The particular business about Matt Lauer, who I always thought was a creepy, mediocre, awful person; one who posesses all the same unpleasant, egotistical and self-important traits of the worst faux-alpha media “personalities” I’ve had the displeasure of interacting with over the years, has given me at least a small measure of joy.

Seeing that kind of person knocked down a peg or two appeals to my sense of justice, in a world where that doesn’t happen very often. I’m just going to have to live with my imperfection.

Hope your Thanksgiving was cool. Mine was, relatively; being one of those holidays where the culture foists marketing-crafted “traditions” on us and aims to make us feel inadequate if we don’t adhere, there’s always a bit of stress, even if I’ve managed to let go of a lot of that sense of obligation to do things that don’t feel right. That said, I got my Thanksgiving meal (that I made because it’s good and I enjoy it), prepared with all fresh ingredients (save the cranberries in the jezebel sauce, which were frozen. By me; I bought ’em fresh a while back and didn’t use them all for that purpose.) knocked out on time, and all the dishes completed within minutes of each other and washed most of the preparatory dishes as our early dinner hit the table. I am awesome.

Spent the afternoon of Thanksgiving watching movies (Atomic Blonde – excellent sountrack!; Drive Angry – best Ghost Rider movie; and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – a mostly worthy successor to Besson’s Fifth Element) and starting to pack up some things for the weekend.

The weekend, as mentioned previously, involved ChessieCon up in the Balitmore area, where I was on the bill with Dimensional Riffs. It’s been a while since I did a con in the area (not since Balticon several years ago), and certainly hadn’t done one since getting enmeshed in the mid-atlantic filk scene. Overall, the con was pretty chill, and very small (it sometimes felt like there were more guests than attendees, though I can’t be sure). I made some friends and contacts, enjoyed the hospitality and welcoming spirit of the lower-northeast region’s filkers, and enjoyed hearing their songs (new stuff is always cool). I broke out some of my newer stuff, which got a pretty decent reception, and got to play all the old stuff to fresh ears. I appreciated the community (as I always do in filk-y circles), who were very welcoming and supportive – I hope I put that attitude forward as well. I also caught a show from the Misbehavin’ Maidens, which was awesome; you should check them out, especially if you’re into bawdy, nerdy, feminist music with a strong vocal/a capella vibe. So much fun.

The other bit I talked about previously, that of drama, wasn’t totally successful – there was a bit, but I’m working on getting past that, and it didn’t totally trash my experience. Also, the ‘Riffs were well-received for our official show – it wasn’t my best show, but it was good enough, and the audience enjoyed it and sang and laughed along in the right places. Can’t really ask for more than that.

The drive home, however, was total shit. There are many reasons I don’t really dig getting within spitting distance of I-83 these days, though the traffic situation from the Baltimore area all the way down to the edge of the Richmond metro on the Sunday after Thanksgiving gave me ample reminder of a major one of those regions. What is on the best days a not-quite-three-hour trip took almost six. Wasn’t loving it, though I got through a bit of my podcast backlog.

As is usually the case if I can manage it, I took the day after the con off, which was the right idea. I made sure I got a decent amount of sleep (as well as some exercise in the hotel’s really nice gym) this weekend; mostly, but having been getting over some kind of cold/virus/whatever, I wasn’t my best going in (and my bandmates all seemed to come out of the weekend with con crud that I’ve mostly avoided), but after the drive, I needed a day away from the program management world, and a chance to sleep in.

I did some shopping for my wife, and knocked out tracks for two new tunes for the upcoming Blibbering Humdingers record, Fantastic Geeks and Where To Find Them (you can get a pre-release EP version at the link). I have one more tune left in the hopper that I’ll hopefully get to tonight (I was kind of burned out after knocking out two yesterday). I’m really looking forward to getting this one out in the world; there’s some great songwriting from S&K (especially Kirsten) this time around, some of my best intstrumental work, and hell, an actual songwriting credit for me. We should have it out by the end of the year in time for our early 2018 Guest of Honor gigs.

That’s it for now, really. Back to the grind, though I’m really on the end-of-year countown at this point – less than two weeks in the office, a week of class, then I close out my occupational year. I think I’ll survive.

Wednesday is my last day at work this week. In fact, they’re releasing us a little early for the holiday, which I’ll take happily.

I’ve got basic meal plans for the meal tomorrow – pretty low key, but I got some great produce at the farmers’ market this week (Turnips! Fresh Brussells Sprouts!) I’ll be employing; likely a simple roasting (that’s the best way to do sprouts – half ’em, brush em with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and garlic, toast ’em a bit, then drizzle some balsamic on ’em), but some recipe googling between now and then may change things.

Otherwise, it’s gonna bit chill. Folks are home, everyone else is off starting Wednesday. I picked up Atomic Blonde on Blu-Ray the other day – stylish cold-war spy stuff will be my post-turkey and cranberry jam.

Friday, however, I do have to head north to Baltimore; as I mentioned, the ‘Riffs are playing some tunes at Chessiecon for the weekend. Looking over the guest list, there are a couple of folks I know, but I’m not really sure what to expect; it’s a bit out of my usual range for a while (I tend to work in a southerly direction these days). I’m mostly hoping for some decent, low-key social interaction, maybe a few discoveries, and minimal drama.

That’s about it, really. Hope you all enjoy your long weekend, however you choose to celebrate, be it eating or football or shopping or quiet contemplation; go ahead, be you. If I have any advice, it’s don’t feel obligated to traditions that make you unhappy. Life’s too short for that.

Anyway, since I’ll likely be consciously off the grid a bit, here are some tunes a few days early. Enjoy. Decent little mix there. Pop Punk, Prog Rock, a little Goth, a little art, a little Viking metal, and a nice nod to Malcolm. Mostly, though – that little five-note/three-note accent guitar lick in #9 on the verse? I so totally forgot how awesome that was (I haven’t heard this tune in years that I can remember). Hell, the whole collection of lead fills on that one…#goals.

1. “Enjoy the Silence” – Depeche Mode
2. “Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution” – AC/DC
3. “Fat Man” – Jethro Tull
4. “Crying Shame” – 7 Year Bitch
5. “Iron Hand” – Grand Magus
6. “Renegades” – X Ambassadors
7. “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen
8. “Heroes” – David Bowie
9. “Der Kommissar” – After the Fire
10. “Montana” – Frank Zappa
11. “Havamal” – Falkenbach

All quiet on the bloggy front for the last week; as I said, I was in work training last week, and other than a few social media updates, I was kind of out of the writng brainspace, what with all the note-taking and getting up to speed on program management training.

The good news to report is that I passed my training course with flying colors, and knocked out another level of certification (application for that cert level pending, as in I haven’t filled out the paperwork just yet); just one more to go, and those classes are either completed or scheduled…the next one on the docket for December; three days on Earned Value Management (go ahead, read that wiki link if you need an insomnia cure). Oh joy. The only thing I have to look forward to there is the fact that it’s the last thing I do for the work calendar year before my Christmas break.

Had a few interesting events happen over the course of the week nonetheless, though. Wecaught Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson‘s “An Astrophysicist Goes to the Movies” lecture/presentation at one the theaters downtown, which was a lot of fun, with Dr. Tyson, one of the true heirs to Carl Sagan’s “abassador of science to the masses” title (along with, arguably, the Mythbusters guys and Astronaut Chris Hadfield), applying scientific principles to movies and entertainment in general, to highlight “movies that spent a lot of time on science and got it wrong, and movies that didn’t think about it at all and got most of it right”. Look up his decade-long crusade the get the sky right in Titanic sometime; it’s a nice way to kill half an hour.

Also, along with heading out to SBC to grab the kid for Thanksgiving break (after being out there last week for the fall dance concert), we finally caught a screening of Thor: Ragnarok on Saturday, which was a ton of fun, and I highly recommend it (along with pretty much everything directed by Taki Waititi, especially What We Do in The Shadows).

Finally, I won some tickets via WNRN to an in-studio session on Sunday at In Your Ear studios in the city; where the lovely spouse and I got to sit in on an acoustic performance and interview with Katie Crutchfield, aka Waxahatchee, recorded for broadcast. Waxahatchee was playing in town that night, and I was terribly excited to catch this opportunity, as I’ve been digging her record Out in The Storm (seriously, go check it out – like at the previous link to bandcamp, right now) for the last couple of months, and a Sunday night show was just too late for me, especially on a week where I’d been away from the office. Instead of a big music hall rock show, I got an intimate performance of a couple of songs and some interview (via deejay Melissa Goode, the music director at WNRN, and possessor of an FM radio voice so perfect it’s no wonder she went into broadcasting) with an audience of maybe fifteen people, and I got a chance to scope out a pro recording studio where a couple of Grammy-winning recordings have been produced. It was cool.

While I was doing all that stuff, the rest of Dimensional Riffs played a couple of sets at Atomacon in Charleston, SC (I had all the work and kid stuff, plus I have a hard time driving seven hours each way for an unpaid gig), with vocalist Drew filling in on guitar duties (and by all rights doing a decent job, as evidenced here) while I was out of pocket. I look forward to having the flexibility of two guitars in future gigs, so we can try some fancier stuff…

…maybe even this weekend, as the ‘Riffs are booked to play Chessiecon in MD this coming weekend (yeah, thanksgiving weekend…oh well), and I’ll be back sitting in. Also, being a bit out of my usual con zone, I’m hoping to maybe try out some newish material in the filk circles to see how things shake out (if it sucks, I likely won’t see these people again for a while). Still a bit of a haul, though what the hell.

That’s the big update, really. Not much else besides the usual Thanksgiving stuff (I’ve been laying in provisions a bit this weekend), and a three day week, that looks reasonably quiet overall. I’ll take it.

I’m posting this Thursday, because of the observed Veteran’s day holiday tomorrow, as I’ll probably be mostly off the ‘tubes for the weekend. I have dance concerts to attend, potential assistance to provide, and a bit of a break to prepare for.

After this week, which included yesterday’s Quarterly Dog and Pony Show*™ in the environs of Our Nation’s Capital where I had to be “on” for most of six straight hours (an introvert’s nightmare), and the weekend, I get to spend a week in a class to top off another level of my public sector program management certification requirements, which keeps me out of the office for a week, spending my days in an off-site training center which has the benefit of being only about two miles from my front door. If the weather improves over this week’s overcast dampness and the sun maybe shows its face at all, I might even commute via bicycle, which is a novelty I’m actually kind of looking forward to.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to a week away from this project. I’ve largely (barring one particular issue I’m hoping to settle this afternoon) got things set to run on autopilot for the week – my minions keep working their magic while we wait for the target system to get their shit together, which would be a nice change.

I’ve also got tickets for Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s “An Astrophysicist Goes to the Movies” show downtown on Wednesday night. I’m looking forward to it.

Otherwise this week, I was pretty happy with the election results, both here at home and across the country. Virginia looks good in blue, as they say. Especially, I love the election of Danica Roem in the 13th district, the first openly transgender official elected to state office in Virginia, mostly by running on infrastructure issues and not rising to the bait of her asshole conservative opponent. She’s also a kick-ass policy wonk with a background in journalism, but also plays in a very rockin’ metal band. She may not be my representative by geography, but she’s my represtentative in my heart.

Anyway, I’ve mostly got prog-rock playing in the background today (I’m kind of feeling long, arch and noodly), but I did run this “random” Pandora list this morning, which is a bit more punky, but still makes room for 22 minutes of Tull. It was also followed immediately by Yes’s “Roundabout”, which got my whole business started:

1. “Be My Baby” – The Dollyrots
2. “Thick as a Brick” – Jethro Tull
3. “Pass it Around” – The Donnas
4. “Love Bites” – Def Leppard
5. “Suffragette City”- David Bowie
6. “Crumbling Down” – Go Betty Go
7. “Something to Believe In” – Poison
8. “Let Me Down Easy” – Gang of Youths
9. “Tell It Like It Is” – Quix*o*tic
10. “Evermore”- Grandaddy
11. “Train in Vain” – The Clash

To keep the Stranger Things business going, I think I have the bones of a song in the works related to season 2. Getting inside Eleven’s head a little bit and co-opting a certain repetitive mantra that makes itself known in the first half of the run. I played with it last night, and this morning, I still don’t hate it, so…we’ll see.

_________________________

* – not including any actual dogs or ponies, I’m sad to say…

For those who don’t get the title reference, here’s latest instance via The Onion, who posts this same story way too often.

Sutherland Springs, TX. Happens yet again.

I’m very disappointed, if not outright angry, at the Presidential reponse that “This isn’t a guns situation”, but rather “Mental health is your problem here.” Plus, you know, “thoughts and prayers”. I think the White House also said “it’s too soon to talk about gun control” again (they did).

Of course, by the time it supposedly “is time” to do so, another shooting incident will take over the national stage again.

I agree with The New York Times and nearly everybody else. It’s time. Let’s talk policy and change rather than thoughts and prayers please.

I think it’s time to talk about things, and get some commonsense restrictions in place. I don’t think the US has the wherewithal to go with the Australian solution (although Australia’s got a lot in common with America’s rural regions), particularly given the weird gun culture that’s prevalent here, but we have to do something; I don’t think the “guns vs. vehicles” argument in terms of education, licensing, registration, and insurance is perfect, but it’s not a bad place to start, really.

Really, though, the thing that strikes me most about this particular situation (along with all the others) is the whole “mental health” thing – yes, it’s a mental health issue. Not that the current administration is doing anything to make preventing problems or providing treatment for such things a priority.

Having grown up with it, I understand gun culture. I actually enjoyed shooting sports and hunting when I partook in my youth. That said, I never felt the need to really dive in and by the unrestricted gun nut/NRA line (and it’s not an accident I conflate the NRA with gun nuts here). Commonsense restrictions make sense, especially when you’re considering mental health. As someone with a mental health diagnosis (depression, with treatment) and have seen, first-hand and personally, how guns and mental health issues can lead to tragedy, I want no part of owning guns or having them around in my life anymore. The risk for me having an incident like the one I allude to above (for those who don’t know, my dad, who also had depression, committed suicide with a gun he owned while I was in college) is minimal given the steps I’ve taken in my life, but it’s a risk I can effectively bring down to zero by not having guns around. I’m not particularly worried about personal protection, the main argument for owning guns (the “good guy with the gun” fallacy), as simply having a gun present immediately increases the chances of an incident tremendously. Other flavors of mental health can lead to the kinds of mass shootings we see with all too much regularity just as easily. Something’s gotta be done, and taking steps to limit or prevent people with at least certain kinds of mental health issues from obtaining firearms feels like a good, non-controversial step.

As I’m fond of saying, no situation has ever been made more calm and reasonable with the addition of a firearm. Some sense of regulation (as is referenced in the first part of the poorly constructed Second Amendment) is something this nation needs.

Yes, I say this every year (sometimes more than once), but it’s important every year.

Your local municipality is having an election today. You should be registered (if you aren’t, why not?). Go out to your polling place and vote. Unless you’re here in Virginia or in New Jersey, it’s probably for local offices. Notice I didn’t say “just for local offices”, because it’s the local ones that probably affect you most directly, like in the sense that these are the people who set your property tax rates, fund your fire departments and emergency services, or take care of your pet if it gets lost (if you go by the stereotypical “dogcatcher” example and they actually elect that person in your municipality). It’s important.

Me, I get to be one of those fun bellwether elections this time, since we’re one of the two states (along with the aforementioned NJ) who elect a governor the year after the presidential election, and very important pundits assign lots of value on our results as a referendum on how the President’s party looks a year into the term. It’s pretty close here, all told, but I suspect that Ralph Northam and the rest of the Democratic ticket will do well here, because Northern Virgina and the interstate corridors, which are reliably blue, will overwhelm the rest of the state. Also, if Charlottesville’s unpleasantness is any indication, there’s a lot more anti-racism folks than there are white nationalists (though I don’t have to look to hard to find them around here).

Anyway, go vote – as I am also fond of saying, it’s the absolutely least you can to fulfill your responsibilities as a citizen.

Like I said earlier, this week’s been a rough one. Damned depression. I’m slowly coming out of it, though it’s really hard to feel anything like joy or contentment. I’m no longer despondent, but I’m pretty much numb. I had a few moments in ceili class on Thursday night that I felt maybe a bit normal, but they were fleeting.

As I say, though, don’t worry. I’ll pull through, I always do. I appreciate the good thoughts and understanding from my many similarly-afflicted friends. It helps to talk about it, especially in a public forum, not just me, but everyone else who deals with it, normalizing it, and as one friend put it, “naming it”.

In any case, that’s been what’s occupying me. It may have actually helped a bit, as I went into a couple of meetings at the deepest part of this particular cycle, with my filter basically off, and was surprisingly effective at getting things addressed; sometimes it helps to attack those things when they are assigned their proper insignificance. I’m trying to maintain the same sense of detachment in regard to the resident office asshole’s late-night temper tantrum we all came in to find this morning.

Given what I’ve described above, there wasn’t a hell of a lot else that felt like it mattered this week. I blundered through ‘Riffs practice, did some reading, and finished Stranger Things, which was really, really good. Highly recommended, even the “bottle” episode with Eleven off by herself – great use of music in that one.

Tunes…as I write this, it’s a really long playlist, with several songs clocking in at over eight minutes:

1. “Down Under” – Men at Work
2. “A Fine Day To Die” – Bathory
3. “Son of Mr. Green Genes” – Frank Zappa
4. “Cold Light” – Operators
5. “I Didn’t Like You Anyway” – The Donnas
6. “Cygnus X-1 Book II Hemispheres” – Rush
7. “The Logical Song” – Supertramp
8. “Battle Metal” – Turisas
9. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” – Cyndi Lauper
10. “Shine on You Crazy Diamond (live) – David Gilmour
11. “Be Your Own Pet” – Becky

Greetings. Just wanted to report in to folks that if you’ve seen or interacted with me this week, and I seemed a bit, well, *off*, it’s because I am. For some reason, the brain, after what was a pretty good weekend, to just go into one of its moods.

Depression’s a bitch, and I’m the target this week.

Doesn’t help that I had to spend most of yesterday being on, dealing with Very Important Work Things™, and working to continue to put things in order to make sure things get done. Monday I was a total wreck. I can tell you that. I took a nice walk in the woods at one of the local parks yesterday after work, and it helped a bit, but I still totally kind of missed Halloween – after I ate a little something, I went and hid while everyone else did the trick or treat thing. I hope you all enjoyed it. I’m enjoying looking at everyone’s costume photos this morning while I wait for emails to come in.

Anyway, that’s it, really. I’ll pull myself out of this; I always do. I know, as people say, Depression lies. Things aren’t awful, looked at rationally. I have a lot of good things. At my wife’s suggestion, I keep an actual list of good things that surround me in my wallet for times like this. It’s a tangible reminder.

So, again, know that if I seem off for the next little while, it’s not you – it’s an unfortunate expression of abnormal brain chemistry is all.