So folks…it’s been a week. There’ve been some great, amazing high points, and some startlingly low points, though even during those low points, I’ve had a great bunch of people around to help pull me up (or at least keep me from sinking irretreivably into the abyss).

I don’t make much of a secret of the fact that I’ve been diagnosed with depression. It makes no sense to do so; I’ve seen denial of this kind of basic medical fact absolutely wreck people, some of whom I’ve cared deeply for. I made a decision years ago to not cover this sort of thing up, both for my own personal well-being, and to do my own small part in advocacy, so that others who might deal with the same sort of thing might not feel shame about looking for help. My treatment generally keeps me on an even keel (thankfully), so I can mostly function like a reasonable human being and get through life. Occasionally, however, one side of the neurochemical balance in my brain rallies it’s forces and launches an offensive that can leave me reeling.

For me, this was Tuesday.

No idea why, really, which is more frustrating. There’s usually a relatively specific trigger, however minor, that kicks one of these things off. Other than this asshole at work being a bit more of an asshole than usual to people, the job’s been pretty steady these last couple of months, with my bosses very happy with my being able to attach a quantitative savings to the organization to the work I do (I’m even getting nominated for an award in the organization, which is nice). Home is no weirder than usual, and pretty nice since there’s more money coming in now. No crashing explosions anywhere. I’m tempted to blame the bleh weather and the looming holidays, and the fact that this has been a hell of a year in terms of challenge and upheaval, but that’s kind of general. Oh well. Such as it is.

I spent my week doing the kind of stuff I usually do; going to meetings, making sure homework gets done, being husband and father and pet owner; I did throw some time into rehearsing, both for the party gig on Saturday, and for the bass ensemble choir piece I signed up to do on Sunday. That last one threw me a little out of my comfort zone, but was actually a pretty good experience overall. Like I said; I did everything I usually do, I just did it through occasionally jarring mood swings, from euphoric happiness to weeping sorrow the whole time.

And, I don’t think I’m quite through it yet. I got more than a little weepy this morning (though I did just hear that my friend’s dad died last night, which let’s be honest, puts my issues into some perspective), but it’s, you know, life.

Anyway, I have stuff to look forward to, the biggest of which is the fact that once I get through this week, I’m done working for the year – three weeks of letting the office grind go and decompressing.

In the meantime, though, I’ve got some stuff to be proud of too – I got to spend all day Saturday making music with my friends and making a bunch of other friends happier through the doing; I even stepped a bit out of my comfort zone with it and got some encouraging results. Don’t we look like we’re having a good time?

…and if that’s not enough, I can just go watch A Very Murray Christmas again. That was transcendent.