Been a bit of an overwhelming week and change. LONG work days involving going into an actual office for several days in the interest of meeting deadlines and doing our part to quash the “drinking from the fire hose” mentality my workplace just can’t seem to let go of. Lots of personal stuff to do and one fewer cars to get it done (especially since the Eldest started the new job recently and works on the other side of town), and a weekend full of all kinds of other things keeping me busy.

Here, on Tuesday afternoon, I maybe have a chance to breathe a bit.

Not all of it was bad. We got a lot done at work those couple of office days, and I really rather like the co-workers I was engaged with (we’ll see how we do about changing the culture). I got quite a few miles in on the bike and foot, and even dragged my Lovely Spouse along with me to visit a couple of new state parks, saw some friends at the soccer match on Saturday night, and celebrated the aforementioned Eldest’s birthday.

Of course, I also had the estimate for fixing the little car ratcheted up a few hundred bucks over the initial, had like 45 hours logged on the books by Thursday afternoon at work, bumped up against (admittedly First-World) financial stresses of there not being enough money due to these unexpected expenses, and, of course…Father’s Day.

Yes, I seriously struggle with this holiday. Of course I miss my Dad, though I also, somewhat shamefully, doubt my own ability and worthiness in the role, even if I’ve occupied it for nearly a quarter-century now. I can’t help but compare myself to the standards society presents, and find myself wanting, and then I just stress out some more.

Damned Imposter Syndrome.

But…yeah. At least my unending feelings of inadequacy occasionally lead to decent creative output, but when it comes to the whole “parent” thing, the incompetence doesn’t always feel like an illusion.

Oh well; I shall continue, as they say, to deal with it.