the sum of our experiences
There’s a pretty interesting discussion over at slacktivist regarding the escalation of the “saving oneself for marriage” phenomenon in evangelical culture to include avoidance of sullying oneself through kissing (or increasingly, any physical contact more involved than hand-holding), typified by a certain pastor preaching on the regret he feels for his having kissed three other women before he married (and presumably kissed) his wife.
You know, I don’t get that. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t the most worldly fellow before I managed to become involved with my beloved spouse, but I had a few dalliances that could reasonably be called “relationships” that,in the end, didn’t work out. Sure, the end of some of those relationships were painful, and there might be a few things I wished I didn’t do, but I wouldn’t say I regret any of them; they provided valuable life experience that has come to shape the person I am today.
There ought to be a maxim out there something like “wisdom is found in the comments.” In this case, I’m just going to echo commenter semperfiona:
I wish there were more cultural space for “the people I loved before helped make me who I am, and who I am loves you; the people you loved before made you who you are. ain’t it great that we found each other?”
This is a great little bit of wisdom, though it’s far from the only worthy piece in the whole discussion linked above; plus, it’s got some great references to the phenomenon of the “Christian side hug”, which never fails to amuse me.
