One of the enduring realities of the internet is spam. We all deal with email spam, imploring us to “check out these wild pics!” or “please her NATURALLY” or buy “V1@gr@ and C1@l!5 CHEAP!”; messages offering refinanced mortgages, escort services, or random links to sites that cause one to doubt one’s faith in humanity, and offer compelling proof of Rule 34.

I generally end up having to clear out half-a-dozen spam comments on blog posts every day as well. Until recently, they consisted of lists of links to porn sites in the body of the message, but lately, the ‘bots have gotten a little smarter, offering the usual weird links in the “website” field, but the actual body includes a generic comment that might be construed as an actual visitor if the administrator wasn’t paying attention.

Today, I found fifty-seven of these comments in the moderation queue. Luckily, batch moderation is easy. For fun, though, I saved a some of the more interesting comments (there seem to be several dozen variations), and thus, offer them below for your information and entertainment.

That, and it’s an easy post I don’t have to think too much about…See the cut/paste madness, after the jump:

They offer praise…

• It sounds good, I love the simplicity. Your posts are easy as a pie and really attractive at the same time.
• Sounds perfect to me. I have read this post with a great pleasure. You should write much more often.
• After working all day I visited this website and guess what? I sound this source and I don’t feel tired any more! It’s the best entertaining source!
• Yes, I do think your opinion is righteous. (So do lots of people). Luckily majority of people are intelligent :).
• This post is inspiring, fresh and ultra awesome! You have a very progressive looks. Reading this blog is a great pleasure.
• From the beginning your blog seemed pretty dull for me. But now it keeps getting better. THIS post is just AWESOME!
• You are the brick! Reading stuff like this written in the way like this is a great pleasure for me.

…and blunt criticism

• stop saying grose things about this! It’s your terrible way of thinking! Normal people don’t care about stuff like that
• Forgive ME, but more about the subject, please!! You are going away from the topic too frequently, therefore it is uneasy to read your posts.
• You have to revise your opinion. Repeating this nuttery misses your point. Give us proofs. Not just with words, but with deeds.
• Well this is depressing. Stop writing like that, your posts are spoiling your reader’s mood. Boring.
• Do you fairly think this is news? I like and read your blog to get necessary information, but sometimes melancholy kills me
• Yeah, but never the less, I think this post is debatable.
• My only wish is to leave this page and never come back again! Retarded stuff! How could anyone believe it?

and, of course, sometimes out of context, unintelligible meta-commentary

• Sounds attractive. I’m totally agree with you.
• Leave these people alone! We have democracy, so all men and women do what they want, and they don’t care what you think!
• I’m sure all guys who write comments are teens or even younger. If you are older, than shame on you!
• I know dudes who come to internet for fun, just to meet some new people and talk with them. I’m one of those.
• I can’t stand the way some people express their mind – it sound terrible. Is a lot of cussing necessary, guys?
• It’s a pain in everyone else’s butt. Let?s just stop discussing this crap, the topic is too questionable.

See, easy post, that nobody will read.  Still, it amused me for a few minutes.  Just like that crappy movie I watched on free hotel cable last night.