Total novelty tune – haven’t really solidified the music yet, but it sounds like a country thing to me.

A friend posted on social media last night about how she was “helping a friend get laid by teaching them calculus.” I, in search of a writing prompt, leapt into action.

I don’t have a title yet (I used the rather (ha!) derivative title “Love and Calculus” over on the #FAWM site). Given the fact that I haven’t thought about calculus in years, I’m going to take the fact that it’s totally obvious that I did some creative vocabulary googling as a bonus, given the subject matter.

-verse 1-
I wish I knew more ’bout absolute convergence
it sounds like something that’d help earn your esteem
to understand the rules of calculus would help me to earn your largess
that’s a theorem of which the value is extreme

To test the differentials would be effective
to sketch the shape and area of your curves
You’re integral to the infinite geometric series, not at all derivative
though I suspect that I may just be getting on your nerves

-chorus-
You’re supposed to help me make the grade in calculus
though I’d rather you be the tutor of my heart
I know I’m misunderstanding the jargon passed between us
the my only thought’s to integrate our parts

-verse 2-
I fear my tangents breach the limits of integration
but my pursuit of your lower bounds is an iterative process
I’m confident my sequence will eventually result in explicit functions
and our falling bodies will graphically connect

For now it’s but a valiant one-sided limit
but my efforts will eventually crack your cylindrical shell
I’ll pass the test, solve the key sequence, right to the nth degree
causing our cross sections to align in parallel

-chorus-
You’re supposed to help me make the grade in calculus
though I’d rather you be the tutor of my heart
I know I’m misunderstanding the jargon passed between us
the my only thought’s to integrate our parts

-verse 3 -epilogue-
Alas our discontinuity is essential
our reciprocity’s not mutual, my formula you loathe
no motion in our orbit, harmonics experience disintegrative decay
and I’m stuck with unattended logistic growth

-chorus-
You’re supposed to help me make the grade in calculus
though I’d rather you be the tutor of my heart
I know I’m misunderstanding the jargon passed between us
the my only thought’s to integrate our parts