…I was brave enough, or enlightened enough to come up with something like this when I was in this kid’s position, rather than the by-the-numbers crap ‘n platitudes speech I did end up giving.

Outside of a little bit of tone that only a terribly bright eighteen year-old who hasn’t seen much of the world yet can manage, as a person in his mid-thirties with a couple of degrees and a reasonable amount of experience under his belt, I have to say that this kid’s mostly got it right; so much of the public school system is more about establishing societal order than it is about actually encouraging real learning, especially in this age of “standards of learning” and the ubiquity of standardized testing.

I wouldn’t say that my public school education was a total write-off, but the lessons I learned were more about learning to divine what a given authority wanted and feeding it to them than it was much about developing critical thinking – and having that skill under my belt, I was better equipped to actual learn stuff when I got to college.

That was fine for me, I guess, but a lot of people don’t even get that out of being there. Some go on to write symphonies and invent VERY IMPORTANT THINGS™, though most folks end up simply struggling because they got out of school without actually learning much.

No wonder our country is falling behind the rest of the world in academic development, and more and more standardized testing that continues to lower the baseline levels further every year isn’t going to fix that.

This is one of those times.

Like Arizona, Virginia is just too damned pretty to be this damned ugly.

True, this is not quite as bad as the AZ law just yet, but this is Cuccinelli we’re talking about here, who’s made his time as Attorney General all about discrimination and Obama bothering rather than service to the commonwealth, and federal circuits around here are much more likely to enable these shenanigans than those in the southewest.

I guess I have to write a few more letters, don’t I?

Not the greatest week in terms of rest. This week’s hotel bed was so firm and unyielding that had I not actually yanked the sheets to check, I would have sworn the mattress was a box spring.

Here’s hoping for some improvement next week.

1. “Gardening at Night” – R.E.M
2. “Here Comes the Fool You Wanted” – Rock Sugar
3. “Free to Decide” – The Cranberries
4. “Love Shack” – The B-52s
5. “Personal Jesus” – Depesche Mode
6. “I’m the Only One” – The Go-Gos
7. “Mesmerizing” – Liz Phair
8. “Any Way You Want it/Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin'” – Glee Cast
9. “Don’t Stop Believin'” – Journey
10. “Untamed Girls” – The Raveonettes

…yes, totally random the way #9 came up after #8. Oh well. Save #10, this week is VERY 80s, in spirit if not release date.

Earlier this week, through the magic of fark, my attention was drawn to an article in the Harrisburg Patriot-News (which, at one point in my life, might have been considered my “hometown” paper) about protests at a Potter County PA library over the screening of a documentary dealing with the gay experience in rural America (specifically western Pennsylvania) called Out In The Silence, led by a coalition of (surprise, surprise) conservative Christian groups and (at least initially) the leader of the local Tea Party group. These folks were upset that a film that they imagined would offend their delicate sensibilities would be shown in a public library that they “support with [their] tax money”, and they felt that they were being “attacked for [their] beliefs”.

Due to the protests and assorted threats, the screening and Q&A with the filmmakers was almost cancelled, but in the end went ahead due to the library’s commitment to “intellectual freedom,” and was, by most accounts, a success, fostering on some level a dialogue in the community about the concepts of homophobia and tolerance.

As long-time readers are sure to be aware, homophobia and intolerance are really my hot button issues, not in small part because of my experience growing up in rural Pennsylvania, and my rejection of the casual sorts of ignorant bigotry common among many in the region – I’ve written about this kind of thing before.

Those same long-term readers wouldn’t be at all surprised that I decided I needed to see this film.

So, I did a little research, and as luck would have it, the film happened to be screening Tuesday night in DC just a short Metro ride from where I’m staying this week as part of a summer film series presented by Docs In Progress, a non-profit organization that helps “experienced and emerging documentary filmmakers make better films by giving them the tools to foster and improve their skills at all stages of the filmmaking process.” Joe Wilson and Dean Hamer, the guys who made Out In The Silence were some of those filmmakers.

So, I ventured out to Dupont Circle tonight, saw the film followed by a half hour of questions and answers with the filmmakers.

So, about the film:

The idea for Out In The Silence came about after Wilson and Hamer published their wedding announcement in the local paper in Oil City, PA, where Wilson grew up. Soon, a veritable shitstorm of angry letters to the paper decrying the very existence of homosexuality and the evils of gay marriage. The couple return to visit the town, cameras in hand, hoping to document the controversy (and learn filmmaking in the process). During their experience, they meet an out gay teen who’s experienced often violent prejudice from his peers, a lesbian couple working to rehabilitate a bit of the struggling rust belt community, and a conservate pastor with whom they develop a surprising friendship that challenges the beliefs and worldviews on both sides of the relationship.

Above all, Out In The Silence highlights the fact that it’s possible for the often deeply-ingrained prejudices against outsiders and minorities to change when people are given the chance to talk about issues of prejudice and homophobia (or in some cases, politely confronted with the issue by people with the courage to challenge the conventional wisdom), and find common ground in the American experience.

Consider it highly recommended. The film does a great job of capturing the experience of life in rural Pennsylvania, both the good and the bad, and is very effective at shining a light on the kinds of ideas prevalent there that really ought to be challenged. It’s definitely worth seeking out, and is exactly the kind of thing people in the kinds of rural communities portrayed in the film really ought to see.

As for where to see it? It’s aired on many PBS stations across the country, and there have been numerous screenings, both at festivals and libraries and such, particularly in Pennsylvania (Joe and Dean are aiming to show the film in every county in PA – a worthy goal). You can also purchase the DVD or download it from itunes and Amazon VoD, if you’re so inclined (I just handed Dean 20 bucks bought one at the screening).

Again, this film is worth your time; seek it out.

According to this article, one in five people have vivid memories of things that never actually happened, and those false memories are just as instrumental in defining who a person is as real ones.

Makes you wonder about pretty much everything, doesn’t it? Also, it potentially explains a lot about how we view the world differently than people we have, in actual fact shared a lot of time and experience with.

This revelation would probably be that much more mind blowing if I’d actually gotten around to seeing Inception (based on the reviews I’ve read), but it’s still a strange and interesting phenomenon to think about…

…then wonder later if your memories of thinking about it are actually real.

Not been a good week in terms of working conditions. The air conditioning system in my part of the office has been out of commission all week, and it’s been hotter and more humid inside than out all week. There’s definitely something wrong when going outside into the 100+° with the heat index Virginia summer to catch some relief seems like a good idea.

I did get a bit of a break this week on Thursday, with the boy and I visiting the Boy Scout National Jamboree at Fort A. P. Hill, which was an interesting, mostly enjoyable and occasionally damp experience. I took a few photos, a few of which I may display in a dedicated post about the adventure, assuming I get around to it one of these days.

At least we can now say we were there.

Anyway, tunes for what’s sure to prove to be a hot and muggy (inside as well as out) Friday:

1. “Robot Parade” – TMBG
2. “Dance of the Seven Veils” – Liz Phair
3. “Left of the Dial” – The Replacements
4. “Love Can Destroy” – The Raveonettes
5. “Jolene” – Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
6. “Beats to the Rhyme” – Run-DMC
7. “In The Sun” – She & Him
8. “Welcome to the Occupation” – REM
9. “Black Mirror” – Arcade Fire
10. “It’s Love” – King’s X

Yes, there are words on this image, violating the whole “worth 1000 words” dictum, but in this case, the picture (with words) really expresses what’s wrong with the the ubiquity of the kind of things soulless corporations are marketing to our children (and worse, that we let them). Just take a look (click it so you can read it):

I recently spent 1300 words or so complaining about the anti-feminist messages found in Twilight, though really, Meyer’s not-romantic not-vampire not-werewolf fiction is really just what so many of America’s girls graduate to after they’re done with Disney Princesses.

It’s all the same message – if you’re a girl, you sit around trying to be poised and pretty until some man/prince/sparkly undead/skinwalker with good abs comes along to rescue you and give your life meaning…until he dumps your ass and sends you into fits of depression.

This is not what I want for my girls. Thankfully, as a household we’re doing pretty well (partially due to some lifestyle choices many people find baffling*) avoiding the issue. I contrast my experience with the stories I’m reading over at Disney Princess Recovery (where I found that image above) and find myself depressed and angered. The little princess-obsessed little girl being discussed was so hobbled by the princess script and worldview that she had trouble playing otherwise. The blog chronicles the attempts of the mother (who’s also a psychologist) to break the princesses’ hold (and thus the rigidly defined gender roles and sense of female disempowerment) on the kid. It’s interesting, and disturbing reading.

This isn’t to say that I’m against Disney necessarily** – I own the “classic” Disney animated films (more because I’m a film buff and the early films are legitimate film history and often artistically beautiful), but the ideas inherent in the “Princess” marketing concept is really bothersome.

As I said,in my house, the princesses have never taken hold, mostly due to the general lack of television with commercials and the Disney Channel. There’s a lot of focus on animals, sword-and-sorcery fantasy, and science (at least the Mythbusters “blowing lots of crap up in the name of” version) with regard to television watching, but I’m kind of proud of the groans that eminate from my oldest when Hannah Montana is mentioned.

True, right now, I’m fighting a battle against toddler obsession with Diego and his rescue pack, but at least Diego and his cousin Dora are out doing things instead of waiting for a characterless prince to come rescue them.

A lot of people would argue about how this stuff is harmless and nothing to worry about, but you know, I disagree with them. I don’t want my daughters to look at the world this way – I want them to be strong, independent, confident, questioning, and fully capable of taking care of themselves; not feeling constrained by any kind of patriarchal societal structure. Nor do I want my son to buy into the idea that girls ought to be anything but capable, intelligent, and worthy of the same respect a man would be due.

And I want them all to be able to recognize when this isn’t happening, and do what they can to change things for the better when they find it.

When I hear stories of little girls sitting on the steps in their Disney-branded play dress waiting for the prince to rescue them because “that’s what princesses do,” forgive me for having a hard time saying that this isn’t a big problem.

(Edited 7/30 for clarity and numerous grammar issues – when I re-read this piece today, I realized I must have been suffering from heatstroke when I originally wrote it. The content is exactly the same, except you can, you know, understand it now.)

_________________

* –Yes, strange lifestyle choices like not having cable, and generally eliminating channel surfing from our lexicon. It’s not that we don’t watch TV, it’s that we do it actively and with discretion. We watch specific programs (on our own schedule, thanks to digital media and internet streaming), and don’t merely put in time worshipping the glowy picture box because it’s there. The television is off a lot more than it’s on, and isn’t the focus of the room (now that it hangs on the wall out of the way, this is even more true).

** –I detest vast swaths of Disney’s product output, though I can’t totally hate any evil global multinational corporation/empire that made Marvel Studios’ shared-universe film concept viable and still distributes Studio Ghibli films in the States with the original Japanese language soundtracks.

…so, I’m not going to. Have a good weekend, everybody!

1. “Never Said” – Liz Phair
2. “My Michelle” – Guns N’ Roses
3. “Voices in the Jungle” – Rock Sugar
4. “Dose of Thunder” – The Replacements
5. “Lovegame” – Lady GaGa
6. “Reservations” – Wilco
7. “Operation Ground and Pound” – Dragonforce
8. “Deadbeat Club” – the B-52s
9. “One of the Boys” – Katy Perry
10. “Say It To Me Now” – Glen Hansard

According to yet another reported survey, romantic comedy films mess up people’s relationships (Sorry for the blinky over-advertised link destination) by encouraging unrealistic expectations about what “love” is supposed to be. For some people, this causes much distress when their real-life relationships don’t live up to the storybook perfection presented on the page or the screen.

Just one more example of how so many people in this world have a hard time distinguishing between reality and fantasy.

Romance isn’t all about meet-cutes, flowers-and-candy, and the man making excessively public declarations of love in order to make up for being a stereotypical sexist prick who can’t express himself for the previous 70 minutes’ run-time (or however many pages). Neither do these ridiculous public declarations make the female lead’s own unrealistic expectations about relationships, low self-esteem and inability to listen or communicate her actual feelings go away . I’d predict that were these film relationships actually real, most of them would combust before the craft services credit rolled due to the parties’ lack of minimal social skills.

Yes, I understand that these are cute, light comedic entertainments, and these are characters on the screen or page and not representations of real-life experience. However, according to this survey, about half the people surveyed can’t make this distinction.

Is it really that hard to understand that relationships take persistence, communication, patience, and compromise, and all the silly press conference interruptions and marching band accompanied stunts in the world won’t make up for the absence those things?

That doesn’t mean that real-life romantic relationships cannot be or are not fulfilling; it just means that they require work, and in my personal experience, that work is definitely worth putting in.

I am so glad I’m out of the “finding a mate” game. There’s enough of this sort of things affecting people’s non-romantic interpersonal relationships to deal with as it is.

…And in a note tangentially related to past posts, the NY Daily News piece linked above does a not wholly bad (maybe a five-eighths ass) job of actually reporting the methodology and scope of the “survey” it reports on, with minimal fluff; for example, it specifically mentions that the survey was released by (and presumably funded by) a movie studio as part of the promotional campaign for a romantic comedy film.

Spam is a fact of life on the internet…thank $diety for filters and moderation queues; they make maintenance a lot easier.

Of course, blog admin tools have the unfortunate side effect of presenting moderated comments out of the context of the post they’re attached to. Some of them are really actually quite flattering, giving me a little ego boost, at least until I notice they’re praising the genius of one of the static pages with no actual writing on it instead of my latest 1000 word dissertation on some philosophical question…

…I do, however, have to give credit to the current hot topic of “Help! The Russian mafia is forcing me to post penis enlargment spam links! Oh no! They’re coming back!”. As I heard somebody say once, advertising is always an imposition, but targets are more forgiving if an ad is funny or otherwise entertaining.