This weekend was something of a struggle; I know you all know this – if you’ve been reading, you’ve been watching my downfall in real-time. Friday’s work wasn’t terrible, though I was just kind of numb. They dropped one of those Friday bombshells in the morning; a new agency manual for my corner of the world, and it’s even kind of good news; they’ve raised review thresholds to the point that the tedious approval briefings every month will pretty much cease. Work for the folks I support (and for me) is about to get a bit easier.

Of course, my brain immediately went to the fact that I’m going to have to build the new process for the rest of the program management group from the ground up, and that since the last package I submitted to the board passed with basically a 100%, of course they’ll change the system now that I’ve finally beaten it.

See, this is where my brain is.

That, along with more frustration with the rest of humanity out there being annoying twits, some low-key social circle drama I’m adjacent to, stress about not wanting to suck for my upcoming gigs, usual holiday season malaise, and the fact that the sun sets before 5pm…I’ve just kind of had it.

After doing the necessary adult things on Saturday, I spent the evening looking for the bottom of a bottle of Irish whisky in front of the tv, wallowing and all. Somebody write me a ballad.

Sunday morning, the sun was actually out, so I went and walked the park like I do, and halfway through my circuit, I just started crying. Blubbering ugly crying. Luckily the park was empty except for the pickup soccer league people, so no one had to avoid me, or perhaps even more horrifying, feel like they should offer help.

Oh well. I’m staring down just a couple of days of business cases and mandated ethics training, and expect to be mostly unplugged the rest of the time into the long weekend (particularly Thursday, because reasons), when I’m playing a few shows out of town at Chessiecon, where the Humdingers are music Guests of Honor, and they were nice enough to book me for a solo set as well.

I really hope traffic doesn’t suck.

Oh well; if I run into a skill check, I can at least use these things to stack the deck in my favor: