Yesterday morning, not long after my usual end-of-week song list post celebrating the beginning of my holiday break, we learned that our dear friend, KT Hicks, passed away after more than a year of struggling to overcome the aftereffects of a stroke.

She and her family have been part of our lives for what seems like forever, since our mutual friend Jonah Knight suggested she maybe invite my lovely spouse and me to a holiday house concert he was playing at her place oh so many years ago. We became fast friends that day, and over the years our families became intermingled and inseparable, spending special occasions, holidays, gaming sessions, and adventures together, simply enjoying each other’s company. Her daughter and my kids effectively grew up together; they’re family – no other way to describe it.

She was a tremendous wit, a caring soul, a talented writer, and a dear, dear friend.

Once we got the news on Friday morning, I quickly wrapped up some things at home and the eldest and I hopped in the car to Chesapeake to be with her grieving husband and child, both of whom are just as special to us. There really wasn’t any question that we wouldn’t. I think our presence helped a bit; both for them and for us.

That said, I spent so much of the day yesterday being strong for others, that I kind of compartmentalized my grief and it all kind of came out a few hours ago while I was cleaning the living room; big, ugly, blubbering crying – I’d worried about my friend for more than a year, unable to visit her at the care facility due to pandemic conditions, and now? I’ll never see her again. The realization hit me like a ton of some heavy noun I can’t come up with right now.

No more shared laughs, drinks, or stories. I’ll never read another new book she’s written (or have the honor of being a beta reader/copy editor for her again), and I’ll never again see her take delight in a clever retort or a live musical performance. My life, so many lives, will be all the poorer for her no longer being a part of them.