thursday random elevenish: “my own worst critic” edition

25 Feb

I was hoping this was going to be a better week than the last, really I was.

It rather wasn’t, especially Wednesday.

A couple of weeks back, I misread a couple of cells on a spreadsheet cost estimate, leading to me entering the wrong number in another cell of another spreadsheet for a data call. As a result, I ended up giving away a few thousand dollars of budget for a requirement I’m trying to get approved and out the door. Once this became apparent, I’ve been spending way too much time poring over yet more spreadsheets looking for money I need to get this thing funded, and preparing for groveling and begging and extra documentation, all while kicking myself, a supposed “senior professional,” for making a dumb rookie mistake.

I’ll get this fixed, of course (in the scheme of things, the money we’re talking about is pocket change for the scale these things work on), but I’ll continue to feel awful about making the mistake, because in hindsight, it was a ridiculously obvious one, and dammit, I’m better than that.

It doesn’t help that the authorities approving other project proposals I’m working on (I’ve currently got about a dozen in various stages of ready, because I’m supposed to be the expert on these things) are getting kicked back for stupid things like changing the font size on a presentation deck template (if you want all the information you ask for, people, it needs to fit on the slide, and if it doesn’t, you’re going to ding me for not providing context…which is it going to be?).

So, yeah. That’s the state of my mind right now. It sucks when my Impostor Syndrome comes with irrefutable evidence.

At least it’s been a beautiful couple of days weather-wise. I had a bit of nice outside time one afternoon this week, at least. The park is nice when it’s grazing 70° in February.

And, as I discussed in a previous post, I went ahead and took a long weekend this weekend, hence the playlist today instead of tomorrow. I just need some time away from the office, virtual or not. Likely not going to do anything special, but it’s a couple of mental health days, and that’s what’s important.

Anyway…the playlist generated by the gods of spotify. Kind of all over the place; a little heavy on the classic rock and silent “P”s. Also, I unashamedly love #7; Teutonic goddess heavy metal is definitely a thing:

  1. “CAT’S EYE” – Anri
  2. “I Don’t Remember” – Peter Gabriel
  3. “Sunless Saturday” – Fishbone
  4. “Psychotubes” – Moon Hooch
  5. “Pepper” – Butthole Surfers
  6. “Psycho Circus” – KISS
  7. “All We Are” – Warlock
  8. “Rebel Yell” – Billy Idol
  9. “Working Man” – Rush
  10. “Sunshine of Your Love” – Cream
  11. “Barracuda” – Heart
  12. “Cybertronic Warrior” – Cybertronic Spree
  13. “Libra” – Intervals

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